You have summed it up perfectly, everything you said, is happening, jumbled mess of papers, bills to be paid, not bothering with showers and food.I am in a daze constantly. Thank you for giving me some idea of how to cope.
I send you my love.
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Thank you Nigel, I agree x
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Because we do… we just have to… sending hugs xx
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My situation is the same as yours. I am so very sorry for your loss, big hugs. My husband went to work and never came home age 54 on 29th February 2024, industrial incident, the police knocked at my door as I was on my way out to work. I too am facing investigations. It’s such a difficult trauma to process. Sending lots of love to you and everyone here!
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That was the same for me. My husband died, next to me, in bed. Fit and well one moment then gone the next. Maybe we can never fully believe that this happened.
I am so sorry to read that this has happened to you so young, only in your 40’s.
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Oh bless you. Sudden death is awful! I will never be able to process it but I focus on my son and the small things in life. I love being outside and my garden is my therapy. I keep being told that I’m strong but I really don’t feel it sometimes. I get up everyday and go to work as a funeral arranger. I am not sure whether I want to carry on doing that but my husband said it took 40 years for me to find a job where I am happy and I love helping my families. Time will tell if it is still what I want to do. Sending my love to you and everyone else here. I wouldn’t say it gets better. It is a roller coaster ride and some days I feel like I’m wading through mud but I hope my husband is proud of me. Self care is very important xx
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I agree wholeheartedly with your post… self care is a necessity… healing will take time… start with the small stuff do take care 🩷
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Hello
My heart goes out to you. It’s so difficult to believe it’s real, I got up ready to go to work and found my husband in the chair, a cup of coffee at the side of him, I thought he was sleeping. I will never forget that morning, the vision will stay with me forever. I miss him so much and I don’t want to live my life without him, but I have my two youngest children living at home, so I have to try.
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Hi Sly
Just picked up your message and I feel your grief mirrors mine. Was with my wife for 12 years . We went to Zambia but she wasn’t feeling great when we went to her homeland for 4 weeks ( I only stayed for 2 ) but I noticed she was worse when she came back and we went to check it out, this was the end of September.
In early October she was diagnosed with suspected Cancer , a week later told by her consultant it was aggressive cancer, with 5 weeks she was gone .
The funeral was delayed due to visa issues with her mother coming over so the funeral was 2 days before Christmas Day on the 23rd , as you probably understand it’s been like a living hell. Just to make things worse my son was living upstairs with his family in my house until the end of July and moved and then my wife passed away in November so now totally alone and I feel awful every day going back to a cold and lovely house which doesn’t feel like a home anymore .
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I feel your pain, nothing prepares you does it?! Unfortunately I had a similar experience, I suddenly lost my husband 7 weeks ago, he became unwell very quickly at home, me and my son did CPR on him, sadly he’d had a massive bleed on the brain and nothing could save him 
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How very painful and very very raw for you both… in time knowing that everything that could be done was done will be a comfort to you both but that nothing like that is able to be a comfort till there is some distance from the acutely intense pain of the initial loss and trauma… sending love you you both 
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I send you my love, it’s so very very painful, I know.
Yesterday was my beloved husbands funeral, all so surreal, in an instant your whole life changes.
I still am in shock, I love and miss him so much, and I am sure you are feeling much the same. Take care of yourselves, my heart goes out to you xx
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Sending love and hugs xx
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Sending lots of love, it really is horrible. Thank you for your message xx
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It was my husbands funeral on Thursday, it was the worst day of my life, I couldn’t believe what was happening, I am still in shock, I feel so bad, I don’t know how to live without him, he did everything for me, and at this moment in time I am struggling to see a reason to carry on.
I am sorry for this awful post, but it’s so painful without him.
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Flints you are still so very early on this horrible journey. I felt your pain every single day, I didn’t know how I was going to carry on, what day it was, what time it was, I didn’t eat, sleep, I didn’t want to be here without my husband. The day of the funeral I remember bits but it didn’t feel real, or like it was my life, it still doesn’t. I remember how fragile and broken I was. I am still broken but a little taped back together. Some days the weight of the grief and pain is too difficult to carry and I fall apart and the others I battle through. I don’t know how I’ve gotten here almost 12 months on because I really wanted to die, but I have and you will too.
Take Baby steps, one hour at a time, tackle what you need to, and save until later what you can. But please reach out, don’t suffer on your own. We all understand. Sending love and strength xx
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Flints I’m now over 5 months down my personal grief path although i knew 4 weeks before my wife died that there was no hope. The day of her funeral will stay the one of my worst days for the rest of my life. However, i am slowly getting there. I do still break down occasionally but nowhere near as often. I will miss her and love her every day until it’s my turn to go, but im definitely managing better. You will too eventually.
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Thank you
Love to you xx
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Thank you, for giving me some hope and comfort xx
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Baby steps, you have got this!! I hate the world again today. But that’s okay I’ve learnt that it’s okay to not be okay. Love and strength today xxx
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