Passing of husband

Hi my husband passed away 3 weeks ago the furenal was on Thursday just gone, I’m broken, struggling to cope, just waiting for him to open the door n come home, any help or just chat would be appreciated thanks cherish xx

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Hello Cherish
I am a lot further along the journey of grief than you but can remember clearly those first months. As you say, struggling and broken. I chose to work hard and sort out everything. Get rid, sell things. I never stopped and then had a burn out but people choose to cope with their loss in any way they can. There is no quick remedy for this incredible pain but I can say it will become less intense. I’m afraid we have to grieve, this is very important. Don’t hold back the tears and don’t think of your future, just cope with each day. One day you will see a glimmer of light and hopefully feel there is hope. Sorry I can’t be more help to you but you have come to the right place as we all understand how you feel.
xx

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Thank u so much for ur message, yes we’re on the path tomorrow of sorting out the estate, just trying to make it so his daughter gets the best future he would of wanted, sjes not my daughter but I’m doing the best I can for her she’s only 13 years old same age as my son, iv been like her mum for 8 years, it’s so hard I’m trying to get on with stuff but I’m waiting for the hit of feeling the crying the emotion ect I had it first few days then with all the sorting it was suppressed now I’m at that numb looking for a adult to take me under there wing feeling, I know it will get easyer but it’s so shit as it’s such a shock! Xx

Hi cherish
So sorry for your loss ,I to am further on at 7 months since my husband died .suddenly at 57/,Don’t be afraid to cry ,and as everyone says take each day I don’t know if you are having any support through counselling it helps some people and I hope you have good friends etc . Although as I have found friends are there at first and then expect you to be back to normal, I go everyday and sit at my husbands grave. I find it helps me but even my family think I’m mad and don’t understand know one does until it’s happened to you I still wake each day thinking it’s a bad dream Take care of yourself and never be afraid to show your true emotions sending a hug x

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I’m so sorry for ur loss to, there’s just no words, I’m going to the Gave next week on my own ams at the weekend with a friend, it’s the smae just like a bad dream like I’m in a coma waiting to wake up!
He passed in his sleep n I wish I could of done something, he wasn’t with me he was at a friend’s which makes it worse xx
I think it’s going to be a proses my body n mind will go thoigh like a out of body expernce, I m so glad I’m here with people who feel the same, it’s awful that This has brought us together but nice I got people I can talk to, thank u xx

Keep posting cherish ,I have found this site a great help it makes you realise unfortunately lots of us are going through the same awful process of grief and remember do what you want to do take care x

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Thank u, I’m at that point that I’m just rolling through and lost, I’m going to maybe get some counciling not sure how it will help but has anyone had any experience with it and did it help? Xx

Hi Cherish.I am so sorry for your loss and understand every emotion you are feeling. I am almost at the 2nd anniversary of my husband’s passing so just want to tell you that things do get easier but that you won’t feel that for a long time. Keep a diary of every day and write your emotions down.Check it in 3 months and then 6 months and without realising you will find that it HAS become a little less raw.Life changes so much but you will find your own way through.I had counselling but did not find it helped because the councillor had a tick sheet and was full of cliches I had heard so many times.I found this site and it has helped me more than anything.I feel like I have a friend to hand who truly understands grief. Please keep posting or at least keep reading. Grief has so many avenues. I guess we just have to walk down them all. I send you love and hugs.xx

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Thank u so much for ur messages, its true iv heard thst about the check list, I have frends I csn talk to but not like anyone who had gone though any mthibg close to whst I’m going though, life will get easyer, but yeah iv been told to write in a book but thinking I got no words to write be like… Hi I’m here went shoping feel crap ect lol maybe at it goes on I will beable to put pen to paper, we shall see.
Just want to wake up from this night mare xx

Hi Cherish.I know what you mean about writing mundane things down. Some of my comments were about leaving the home we had shared for 36 years,I wanted to sell it. Then I wrote of being unable to carry on and just wanting to die to be with him. I could not go to any place I had been with my husband
Could not get him out of my head. I wanted to go out with friends all the time as I felt so lonely.Now I love sitting in my home and I am functioning again.I do not rely totally on the company of friends. I can think of other things as well as remembering my love for Ron. I have started mentioning other things in my Journal.So I know I have moved forward a little.I still have periods of intense thought and loneliness but I just want you to know that somehow,very slowly you learn to live with grief. It is the anniversary of Ron’s passing on 25th Sept and I know it is going to be so hard for me then.

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Oh that’s soon :sob:, oh mate it’s awful :broken_heart::heart::pray:

Thanks Cherish.I am hoping that this year I won’t sit looking at the clock at the time he died. It is awful I know. I never thought grief could hurt so much but I just want to re assure you that there is some hope at the end of the rainbow.Please private me if you ever feel you want to.I am always here to talk.x

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Iv been doing the same it’s amazing how we have similar things we do xx thank u ill keep that in mind same here if u need a chat xxx

Thank you too.I hope you have a peaceful night.good night and god bless.x

U too mate, I’m on my second night of sleeping in my bed alone as have had my son with me, but have to try get back to some sort of normal.
Hope u have a good night sleep too, hugs n love ur way xx

I’m sitting in my a garden on my own and having just had my hair cut and I think what’s the point in any thing , the heart ache is awful. we had s much to look forward to and things we wanted to do together. My husband died very suddenly and unexpectedly in January aged 66 so I can do relate to everyone’s post. I actually feel so much worse now than I did in January. Lockdown was horrid, then in May my mum died from sepsis, it was a very hard time but as she said at 89 celebrate her life. My whole life is changed, some friends have been amazing and some, well I won’t say. One said are you still struggling you’ll find someone else ! Really I couldn’t believe it. My children are great but not wanting to sound like my mother ‘ I don’t want to be a burden’ . In a group I feel so alone, I’m scared and absolutely heart broken, I know I have to take things slowly and my husband and mum would want me to be happy but I still seem to think they will come through the front door and say I’m home, if only this was possible.

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Hi I’m so so sorry for the loss of your husband and mum .
Please don’t feel alone if you want to chat .it is like we read that it takes time ,but it’s like everyone expects a switch will be pulled and we will magically be back to normal and forget our love ones , I have seen a friend this Morning and she was moaning that yesterday was the first day her husband has not been at home and how annoying it is .god what we wouldn’t give to spend time with our loved ones. Try and keep busy the garden or read a book I know it’s difficult i am just on my way to the cemetery to sit with my husband I find it helps. Take care of yourself sending a hug x

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I have lost my best friend, soulmate and partner not yet 2 weeks ago. I cannot see how this nightmare can end
He died very suddenly aged 60.
I am trying to do one thing purposeful each day and I have 9 month old dog to take care of
His family are also suffering enormously especially his daughter I feel inadequate in helping her because of my own grief but I try
r

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Thank you so much, it is a huge comfort knowing others are out there- not that I wish suffering on others. I too go and sit in the grave yard for comfort. I wish there were people we could meet and have a coffee with to share our thoughts and to cheer each other up. Thank you for your kind words I wish you well x

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Would be lovey, not sure where everyone is area wise xx