I know, it’s so awful. I don’t remember feeling like this when my dad died but I think I just focussed on looking after my mum and was alot younger then x
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Such early days for you Tidd
I’m worrying so much about my dad now. But my pain is so intense for mum. I’ve often thought it can’t get worse than this if something happened to dad. God knows.
By late afternoon I’m an emotional mess. Bedtime, is not much better, as I can’t sleep well. The pain feels worse by the day.
Today, I told myself not to have a breakdown. To hold it together, until it improves. I can’t get my head around it all. It shocking and it is terribly raw.
I’ve got to go to a funeral at the end of the month. I’m not sure what that will trigger.
I feel in no mans land.
I find I sleep far too much. I can go to bed at 9. Wake up at 7. And quite happily go back to sleep when the kids have gone to school. Or I find myself sleeping the whole afternoon. I’m very rarely awake. Lol. I think it’s because whilst I’m asleep I can’t think. My awful dreams have pretty much stopped thank god. Mum is stil in all of them. But they are nice dreams. But they still cause me heartache
Know what you mean about no man’s land. My boyfriend’s body gets released on Friday and I find out what if anything made him fall so brutly down the stairs or was it just a tragic accident. Part of me wants the answer and part of me doesn’t cos then it will be the funeral and everything will be so final.
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Jooles, I’m the opposite when it comes to dreams. I hardly dream and if I get a glimpse of one of my parents my mind halts the dream immediately! I used to love dream about my Dad, but even that has become too intense since the lost of Mum.
Tidd, It’s all so sad and shocking. The fact that a loved one can be here one day and not the next. Do you know when the funeral is?
No not yet I’m not his next of kin unfortunately so I don’t have much say x
I am Jooles, it is 5 months today since I found my Stan on our bedroom floor, he had died. I still can’t believe it, how you young ones cope with shocks of this type, I just don’t know, Kudos to all of you.
Love and blessings,
Mary
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Sudden Death took my Brother and Dad it’s such a cruel world we live in x
Our great grands[date=2020-01-19 timezone=“Europe/London”]on trotted over to Stan’s photo and as you can see, kissed his gt.granddad.
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A photo to treasure, Jooles it is lovely x
His grandma (our daughter) looks after him every Friday and she just caught the moment. Stan was so thrilled to be a great granddad, he would be very touched with this photo, our daughter said that Jonty wasn’t prompted.
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That is so gorgeous Mary 
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I do understand what you mean, dear Cheryl x x
Thank you so much Kate. x
Dear Daffy.
You will be given strength to cope. I was dreading my Stan’s funeral I was sure that I would pass out, yet, when the time came I felt so calm. I cried of course I did, our 2 children cried too as we left him in the crematorium, we felt that we were deserting him.x
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Thank you MaryL, I did get through it and I dreaded it. It all went in a bit of a trance.
I know my Mum would have been surprised and perhaps delighted by the thought that went the funeral. x
I am pleased Daffy that you managed to get through your Mum’s funeral, They are occasions to be dreaded, it is no use my telling you that you will start to feel better soon. It is nearly 6 months since Stan died I am just coming out of the shock of finding him on our bedroom floor.
Take care,
Love Mary x
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MaryL thank you
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