Please help

I lost my husband six months ago, and I am devastated. I miss him more than words can say, but after 6 months, I thought I was beginning to cope. But today, for no apparent reason, I am absolutely distraught and can’t stop sobbing. I would give anything to have him back.
Has anyone else has this sort of a breakdown, which is the only way I can describe it? I am distraught, screaming and crying and I haven’t been quite as bad as this before. I adore him, I always will, and at the moment, I just don’t know how to get through my life without him. He was my world, my life, my future, and now he’s gone, and I want him back!

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@AnnR I’m so sorry you are.feeling so distraught right now. As I lost my husband 8 weeks ago tomorrow I can’t offer of.knowledge another 4 months on. I do know however, that this site will help you x ‘keep talking, keep walking’ losing your significant other is going to.hurt for a long time, maybe always. But, you are.being.to hard on yourself,.It’ s ok to.have breakdowns and cry, you obviously need it,.do it … don’t hold back,.scream and shout. I.am.blessed, I don’t have children or.others around me, I have been free to grieve, to talk out loud to him x x sometimes, possibly,.we have to be alone x x all.the love x

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Thank you so much for caring. I really do appreciate it. I have calmed down a bit now and I think a milky drink and bed are next!
Thank you for your support and I hope you are coping.
Xx

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Dear AnnR, I understand exactly what is happening to you because I too lost my husband 6 months ago. I still have days when I sob and talk to him and feel distraught, but remember it is still early days for us, after a lifetime together how can you recover quickly, its just not going to happen, we have to be kinder to ourselves and hopefully one day we will see the light at the very long tunnel, Im thinking of you and send much love Margarita x

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Thank you so much. After my outburst, I slept for 12 hours! I feel a bit calmer this morning, but very very sad.

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Thank you for your message. You are so right, 57 years together, 54 married, can’t be got over in a short six months. I am lucky that my wonderful family does everything they can to make things easier for me and, without them, I don’t think I would be here.

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HI Ann
I am two years along this road of grief and I can assure you that these moments of complete despair seems to be the norm. I can still have them although the first months of grief were raw and continual but it seems that many of us are still destined to have these meltdown days even after a much longer time. I have been in exactly the same position as you. The last time I became inconsolable, I walked out the house, jumped on a bus that pulled up by me. Had no idea where I was going and didn’t care. I cried on the bus but in time I became much calmer and returned home feeling much better. So perhaps it’s natures way of helping us to cope. We are never going to forget, and why should we. Our special people deserve to be remembered.

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Hi Pattidot,
We haven’t spoken for such a long time so it’s lovely to hear from you. Thank you for your wise words. I must admit, that little episode frightened me. Obviously I have been really upset before but that was something else. At least that’s another ‘first’ over.
I feel like getting in the car and just driving away - anywhere, to get away from this hell on earth but of course it wouldn’t make any difference and I am not allowed to do that anyway. Thanks Covid!
Thanks again, Pattidot. I hope you are ok and coping.
Hugs, Ann x

I’m sorry to hear you have recently lost your husband. I lost my lovely Jonathan on 25th November. He battled lung cancer for 20 months. The day after he died I felt so lost as my days and life had revolved around him everyday.

Due to restrictions I was alone for Christmas and I will be alone tomorrow evening.
I have been alone like you to cry and grieving and talk to Jonathan as I’m walking around the house. All of his things are around me which was difficult at first to deal with. Now I feel they are a great comfort at times.

Day by day is how I deal with it all. I have 2 dogs which I class as my babies who keep me going and get me out for walks even if I don’t feel like it.

I sincerely hope you find strength to get you through these dark difficult days we have a head of us.

Look after yourself and be kind to you. x

Thank you so much. I think you are right, day by day is the only way to deal with it.

My husband also passed away six months ago. There are days with no crying and days of absolute terrible grief. It is the fear of loneliness of never seeing or hearing him again - this journey is going to be long and painful but I will continue on until I feel there is no way of doing so x

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@Miller1 Hello, I’m sorry, it really is hard and I hope you can move forward. We can cant change what’s happened, we are stuck …Read others posts and keep posting… thinking of you x x

After 17 months I still have days like that they say crying is like a safety valve I gets less often but still hurts something we have to live with I guess

It was 6 months for me on the 29th December ive had weeks where i think i am doing ok but since the new year i am finding it tough i often feel like i am just existing i often look at his photo on the window sill and say why why have you done this why have you left us but i know he didnt mean it bur thats what hurts so much he wanted the help and he left it too late for those of you that dont know it was alcohol liver disease x

Dear @AnnR,

I can completely understand how you are feeling.

I was in my living room the other day sitting on the floor polishing the coffee table when I just started to sob, I lay on the floor and cried for such a long time. Not just crying but sobbing, shouting why , why did this happen, please come home…

I have never done that before, ever . I felt completely exhausted after the whole experience.

I do usually shed tears most days, wander around talking to him, asking his opinion on things , only to second guess what his thoughts would be.

7 months on the 17th of January since he was cruelly , traumatically snatched away from me and I miss him so very very much .

I feel the hurt will never stop for us Ann, but hopefully we learn to cope. Moving along this lonely road trying to make sense of it all and find peace…

Take Care , much love x

Dear Mrs T1,
Your message was so reassuring. I thought I was going mad, especially as I have always been able to be in control of my feelings and reactions. Not any more!
I have been in a similar place to you in that I have been doing something around the house and have suddenly been overwhelmed with the most awful sadness. I thin, asfter so many years togethet, it is ureasonable to expect grief to go away aftere six months, but I wonder how much longer I can bear it without having a breakdown. It is truly awful.
I can tell from your previous posts how very much you love your husband and always will, and I love my husband in the same way and always will.
Thank you so much for your support. I hope you find strength too. Love and hugs, Ann xxxxx

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Sorry, I didn’t proof read this message and it is full of mistakes! I have a new computer and just can’t get it to write like my previous one did!

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I am struggling to breathe after the loss of my mum 6 weeks ago

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Hi @Nuthatch, How are you feeling now. Maybe you have anxiety?

Hope youre ok?

Thank you . No I’m not okay at all . Not suicidal but finding it hard to go on . I watched my mum die in agony for 15 days in hospital and they didn’t give a damn because she was 100 years old . No dementia, no coronavirus and she was fully independent until she went into hospital. It was completely harrowing. She didn’t deserve to die like that and I can’t let go of the huge grief. I don’t even want to get out of bed .

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