Having to even be near the husband/wife or Christmas card section at all is just too much…
I don’t know how any of you face going in Asda/supermarkets. I went in my Asda the first time a few weeks ago and had to abort that mission.
The second time I only made it to the pharmacy and that was enough for me. Too many memories of tired evenings on the way home after work of us nipping there together to buy goodies for a lovely evening. Too many happy and unhappy couples, I don’t know which annoy me more, people with kids made from them and their partner, people bellowing into mobile phones about what they should have for tea tonight with their partner, people with small concerns that they think are big… like what to buy for secret santa.,. just like I used to be. I literally cannot stand it.
I have an online shop coming 29th Dec and had one tonight (although i forgot to get much except food for the cats, toiletries and 3 meals but should be OK as I have full cupboards, it just might mean mixed beans or out of date pearl barley for a tea or two if things get desperate but i wont starve, I forgot it was christmas so they wont come next week!!). Regardless if i have to eat dry pearl barley for xmas day (i wont, i have a lovely family who wouldnt let that happen) i will not go to assda.
8 wks on Monday just gone for me. I cannot believe time has the cheek to keep passing. How can you be fine after 2 wks 6 wks 8wks 5 months 6 months 1 year 2 years, 10 years… when that was your soulmate?? If you believe in heaven maybe because you are creeping closer to them but for the rest of us it only feels we are getting further away… and for what?
Time keeps passing and people think that heals us. It doesn’t seem to be doing f-all except putting us further away from our loved ones so that was another BS piece of advice we keep getting from these know-it-alls who never lost their future in one terrifying and overwhelming moment.
I hope somehow you can find something to take your mind to a peaceful place for some moments MrsT1, Glad you felt calmer earlier on and I hope you can continue but i know what you mean about the cycles, just when I am glad I did something normal then I go into psycho-mode again.
Take care everyone, If there is light at the end of the tunnel I think some bugger has bricked mine up but hopefully …hopefully we can keep hoping for something we don’t know that will come… Keep breathing xx