Thank you I tried to go today but couldn’t but will try again tomorrow x
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One step at a time
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Awwwww Helen, I dreaded going back to work because I felt how can I try and act normal when I feel so low, so empty and am so frightened?
I’ve gotta say I have found work so helpful in just being able to be normal, if only for a short while. It’s like the universe is gently saying see, it’s ok, the world is still here. I am still me. Mum is still Mum. She is still my Mum. Mum will always be my Mum. Does that make sense? My feeling of nothing changes?
No, you haven’t forgotten anything, it kind of just reassures you that you can do this.
I somehow sense, we are of a similar age, I find it intriguing, thinking I had the world sussed as a 59 year old woman, I was 58 when I lost my Mum only to discover I haven’t and I still need my Mum. And I’ve wondered how on earth did my mum cope when she lost her own Mum in 1997? Two days later the world mourned Princess Diana so it was surreal, all this grief. I regret I never spoke to my Mum and asked her how she really was. I’m amazed at my total lack of empathy then. But I get it now. For me, work has been a blessing, it’s helped ground me and allow me to just pretend all is perfectly normal, until I come home again when at times grief can slay me. I’m unsure and keep re reading this, dare I post? I will. It’s my truth. Here goes!
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Hippyshirl my mum was 16 dec 2021 so quite close
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Snowwhite, thing is I knew my mum was going to die even though it was unexpected. I have two jobs over a working year and literally just before Christmas I was thinking to myself oh goody, another week and a half and I’ll be finished, I’ll have my puppy, it’ll be great. Then with absolute clarity a voice in my head, no don’t wish for this because you won’t have your Mum.
Mum always use to say I have a bit of a gift.
I wish I didn’t.
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Thank you for your reply I am going to try and work tomorrow and I will let you all know if I make it I hope I do . I feel so lost as I live alone with my 21 year old son so my parents were my world. I can but try again tomorrow x
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My mum loved butterflies and robins I have never had a butterfly in my house as I can remember however I’ve had butterflies fly around my window and only today one was fluttering in the house. I will take comfort from these x
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Will send you strength for tomorrow
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Love to all of you going through this…you all are so right…when my dad died 11 months after my mom, she is the person I need most right now. She was the person I always went to for comfort. I never thought she would have died first. Even though they divorced when I was 5 yrs old, I was so close to both of them. I was so lucky to have two wonderful parents who loved me so much. I know they would both want me to be happy and continue living my best life, but there is such a huge void without them here. I never thought at 47 I would have lost both parents. Thank you…all of you for telling your stories and talking about this. We are all in this together, and helping each other get through this is so important. 
Good luck going back to work Helen! One foot in front of the other, and one day at a time! Hugs to you all!
I believe in signs to. I see a lot of hummingbirds around my house the last few weeks. Even one landed on me. I think it is a sign!
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It’s rubbish losing both isn’t it? I feel like I’m not quite over Mum and now stepdad has passed.
Work helps me stay distracted, I really feel it when I’m alone.
It certainly is rubbish losing both I think we’re all lost
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Absolutely rubbish! I know when I am distracted I can manage, but when I am just sitting there, it really hurts. My parents like all of know too…our parents were our anchors in this world. Without them we feel lost, and there is this huge void there. 
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hear, hear!
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Thank you for all your kind words, I did make it into work and it was a good day despite the weather. Was looking forward to today’s work to see my friends but been poorly in night but tomorrow is another day x I hope the hummingbirds bring you great comfort as the butterflies and yet to see robins do me x
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Good Helen you’re days will get better the little robin sitting on my fence
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I’m so glad u did. It’s a small step, the first of many, in the right direction.
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Absolutely! Keep looking for the Robins, hummingbirds, butterflies, or cardinals…I actually was taking a walk the other day in the woods, and out walked a baby deer. I just stood there
with my dog Thor. He wasn’t afraid, he just looked at us and kept eating leaves. It was really cool. I think being in nature helps. Helen, great to hear you made it into work. Hang in there all of you.
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