Hi
My dear husband died suddenly of a heart attack 22/4/22, I have been attempting to return to full time work since July , I was doing ok, then I felt pressured by the manager and directors I felt they were applying pressure to be back full time sooner!
I was told they would not be able to keep paying me, that I should be logging what hours I was doing, I am currently signed off work until October, so I feel this is pushing me over the edge, I have taken this week off as I feel exhausted mentally and physically, have others had this experience x
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Yes. How you are feeling is completely natural and very common. Going back to work is incredibly hard
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Companys’ talk about Wellbeing of their staff. But they don’t understand how you are feeling. Take care sending hugs
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I fully understand how you feel. I lost my Mum suddenly & in traumatic circumstances June 22.
After taking compassionate leave I was then signed off sick for two months & to be honest dreaded returning to work as I still felt so sad , emotional & very low in mood but part of me felt guilty that others would think I should return to work !
I did return to work with lighter duties ( as I work on the front line in Social Care & are based at-home ) . I only work part time so that helped .
I think in hindsight I did return back to early & frequently I broke down in tears, struggling to cope .
If your not ready please take a few more weeks, then talk about a phased return if you can .
My colleagues were very supportive & it did bring some structure & distraction back into my life.
Just be kind to yourself, if you have a permanent contract with your employer they can’t threaten to stop your pay if you have a medical certificate.
Can you speak to your HR dept if you have one ?
Sending love & a hug x
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Hi
Unfortunately the HR is one of the directors!
I just feel it was said to perhaps force my situation!
Since my dear Chris death , I have been blessed with enough money not to worry about financial problems, I did not appreciate it being used that way!
The directors have admitted this is the first time this situation I find myself, they don’t know how to proceed!
I feel happier and less stressed at home , I sm going to take another week at home, the doctor feels they are behaving badly x
Hi jmstone,
I completely understand, I’m having the same issues with work. I lost my husband in April this year, he was only 53 and passed suddenly. I’ve been left widowed at 49.
I haven’t yet returned to work. I work for a small company and there is no HR department. It’s a husband and wife who are the directors. They haven’t been very supportive and caused me work related stress too. They’ve said things like, thought you’d be better by now etc……they don’t get it. It fills me with dread the thought of going back there and I don’t know what to do. I have one week left on my current sick note and wish I could resign. I do need to work with being on my own now but it scares me what if I don’t get another job.
Sending love x.
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I so get how you are feeling, it is an aweful position to be in, xx
Be kind to yourself always xx
Yes it really is. I wish people were more understanding, but unless they’ve walked in our shoes, they don’t get it.
Thank you, and you too.
Take care xx.
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Today the Director/HR person informed me they have employed a temp to do my job! Of course they will have to cease paying me whilst they have to pay for a temp!
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Hi,
I’m trying to pluck the courage to contact my work today. I still don’t feel ready to return. My sick note expires in a few days. I feel sick at the thought of speaking to them.
Do you have a date to return to work or you going to take further time off?
It’s very hard trying to grieve and having the added pressure of work.
Take care xx.
Hi
since i lost my wife 12 weeks ago I have tried to go back to work twice,my mind was not on the job,I must be one of the lucky ones,Iam a bus driver,i work for firstbus in bristol,They have been so supportive of me,i am currently off work they have told me to stay off for as long as i need which has taken some pressure off me
Hi
I have no timescale in mind, I am now free really to take as much time as I need! Going back at the 2.5 month mark for me was a big mistake, the company assumed I was ok and everything would be ok,
It has set me back on this horrendous journey,
Please try and get more time off if you can, you need to listen to your body , xxx will be thinking of you xx
Hi Steve,
Im sorry to here of your loss too.
I work for a small company and they haven’t been supportive at all. They have hounded me from the start which has caused me to have work related stress on top of grieving.
I’m glad to hear your work have been very supportive and given you the much needed time and space to get your head around everything.
I started counselling and went private as the waiting lists here are too long. I had my second session yesterday. I will continue going, I don’t know if it will help or not but feel it’s it gives me the opportunity to say how I really feel.
Take care.
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Hi Millie17
we are all on here for basically the same reason,I think it can help,Have you tried to speak to citizens advice about your work situation,they may be able to help
steve
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Hi,
I’m so glad to hear you can now take the much needed time and return when you feel ready to do so and not when your work feel you’re ready. This takes the pressure off a little.
I just don’t know how to handle my work situation but need to find strength from somewhere to do so.
Thank you, and take care xx.
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Hi Steve,
Yes, it’s unfortunate that we are all on here for the same reason.
I didn’t think of Citizens Advice, thank you for that.
I’m going to contact my work today and see how it goes.
Thank you, and the care.
Good luck with that xx
Millie17
let us know how you get on,But Don’t let them bully you into something you are not ready to do
take care
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Thank you xx
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Hi Steve,
Thank you. I will let you know how it goes.
Take care.
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