I have been trying to gently return to work , my husband died 22/4/22 , heart attack in bed next to me at 06.06am, work had been telling me that they would be led by me , in how much or little I did, I have a sick/fit note till 9/10/22, I go in for the mornings , Monday to Friday, sometimes I cannot go in due to grieving, now they are asking how many hours am I doing, and asking why I cannot attend work on the days I could not go in!
I am so angry,
How long is too long ?
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Hi j.mstone,
I’m sorry for your loss. My husband sadly passed away on 13th April this year. My husband was only 53 and I’ve been left widowed at 49 and I just feel broken. We were together 34 years. I haven’t returned to work yet, my work haven’t been very supportive, and as well as grieving, I feel like I’ve had the added pressure of stressing about work. My GP has given me a further sick note today for 2 weeks, I don’t even then I will be ready to return. I haven’t committed to returning yet, my work will not offer a phased return, I will be back full time straight away, and right now I don’t think I could cope with this. I feel people don’t understand because they haven’t been in our shoes. I wouldn’t wish these feelings on my worst enemy.
You have every right to be angry.
Take care x.
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I am so sorry , this is such a hard life without our love ones, I I am feeling so let down today with the workplace, they seemed to get it, yet today it has seemingly all changed!.
It only feels like 5 minutes since losing my Chris, now I feel they want me to cease grieving and just get on!
I am broken!
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I feel the same too, it only feels like you say, 5 minutes ago, and everyone expects us to be over it, or as my work mentioned to me that they thought I’d be feeling much better now!
I hope your work are more understanding today.
Take care x.
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We’ll update
I have now been signed off until the new year!
Work became intolerable, their expectations were far from my reality!
The company have now employed a temp and ceased paying me, I guess now they have what they need their interest in me will cease!
Millie how are you doing ? X
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I too lost my wife 12/07/22 been back to work twice But could not cope ,i’m lucky the company i work for has supported me all the way
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Hello,
I’m so glad to hear you now have until the new year. This takes the pressure off regarding work.
I thought I was going to able to go back to work this month, however I’ve had a couple of weeks I’ve felt so low. I called my work on Tuesday, I told them I will not be back this year and if they wanted to fill my position then to go ahead and do so. I haven’t even spoke to my GP regarding this and my sick note runs out tomorrow. My work don’t want me to resign so they’re currently working out what to do. I don’t expect to get paid and I’m ok with that. I’m hoping I will find out this week and this will ease the pressure of work.
I just wish people in general were more understanding Xx
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hi millie17
unless they are going through it or been through it they will never understand
take care
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Hi Steve,
You’re absolutely right. I wouldn’t wish what we are all going through on anyone, but a bit of understanding from people would be nice.
I will let you know how I get on with work.
Thank you, and take care.
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millie17
please do
steve
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Hi millie17
How you getting on??
Hi Steve,
I hope you are managing as well as can be.
I’m ok. I had a meeting with the 2 directors from work on Wednesday. It went better than I thought. The bottom line is that they still want me back as soon as possible. I told them I didn’t think I would be back before the end of the year. They seemed a bit more understanding this time, however I’ve to have a further review with them in 2 weeks. I will go for the review, but if I still don’t feel able to return then I won’t.
Thank you for messaging, that’s so thoughtful of you.
How have you been this week?
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hi millie17
I’m ok But as with most of us in this situation Bad days out way the good ones ,But I will battle on,I’m pleased some of the work pressure has been taken off you,But I will say again dont let them pressure into some thing you are not ready to do always here for a chat if you need one
steve
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Hi Steve,
Yes, unfortunately the bad days certainly do.
You’re right, I will not let them pressure me to go back feel ready to do so.
Thank you, I appreciate that and likewise, here if you need to chat.
Take care.
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millie17
Thank you
Hi Millie
Wondered how you are getting on ? Xx
Hello j., mstone,
It’s lovely to hear from you. I thought I was doing ok, then the last few weeks I’ve hit rock bottom. I’m still not back at work. I feel let down by people in general too, especially my husband’s family, I don’t really hear from them now and feel a bit let down.
I’m attending counselling, I’ve had 5 sessions, think it’s to early to know if it’s helping
How are you? Hope you are doing ok. Xx
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Hi Millie
This is really a very tough road we are on!
I am off work indefinitely , doctor feels my work place has behaved badly, I am more peaceful at home,
Regarding your husbands family, it seems it follows the same for many of us wives , my Chris family are absent also , I was married 43 years and with Chris 50 years , yet not one of his brothers, niece or nephew! Bother to enquire to my welfare!
Please take good care of your well being Free to chat anytime you feel xxx
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Hello,
Yes it’s a very tough road we are on and wish people were a bit more understanding. I had the same issues as yourself with work. I had a face to face meeting with them 3 weeks ago and they want a further meeting soon. I’ve told them I don’t think I will be back until January. I will see how things go, but feel it’s s bad time to return with Christmas just around the corner.
I’m glad the pressure of your work has eased. Likewise, please feel free to contact me anytime at all or send a private message and I will reply.
Take care xx.
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Hi Millie
Found myself thinking of you , how has Christmas and new year been for you , xx
Me I am glad that the days are passed! I finished with work on the 30/12/22 , 64 years of age and finished!
I have been staying as my sons home since boxing da as they have gone to visit his wife’s family and I Am the dog sitter! I have my dear nephew staying at the moment with me xx
Hope you are ok xx
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