7 months ago, Penny died and my grieving started. As you all know it starts with the most horrendous feelings of every emotion possible. We don’t know where to turn, what to do , regrets, anger.
In my previous posts I’ve mentioned that I soon started to decide what my new life will be like. Still lots of heartbreak and tears.
Over the months my new life has taken shape, and I really like it. Not as much as I did when I shared it with Penny, of course. As this progressed my grieving reduced, but it was still with me.
A couple of weeks ago, I wondered if my grieving had ended, or if it ever does?
I gave myself a good talking to, and decided I have a choice, grieve for ever, or end the grieving. I chose the latter! So I woke up the next morning and said out loud to myself (and my dogs), " I’m done with it, I’m not going to chuck the rest of my life away". I’m 74, so I really should make the best of what’s left to me.
Penny and my friends would never want or expect it of me.
I reminded myself of the true saying, “The length and depth of my grieving is no measure of how much I loved her”
I can still have the odd memory, and a sad spell, but I’m determined it just will not be a life sentence. My life is worth more than that, and it’s the only one I’ll have!!