Its so hard to be positive about life. Just feel like every day. Fighting against negative thoughts. Every day just seems pointless and just cant see the light at the end of this long lonely tunnel. Even when sat with own family feel alone. Like in this bubble of misery . Hate it. The future just looks rubbish…
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Every morning I wake up with a feeling of dread at facing another day of pain and tears. I can’t stop looking back to the good times and feeling agony that they’re gone forever. If I manage to distract myself for an hour or two I always know it’s only temporary. I don’t see how this will ever improve.
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Hi Jack , feel same.
Hi Jack and Oreotrio,
We are all in the same state of awful grieving .The pain is terrible I lost my mum 6 weeks ago and I am no better than the first day.Just want you both to know I am thinking of you and just want to say to reach out and post on here It really does help bec people on here are so lovely and understand .
Deborah x
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When you think of how people get through it. I dont know how they do to be honest. Hi Deborah sorry for your loss.
I dont want this to be my reality. But i cant change that this is my reality. Like a massive hole in my life. Never same again.
Hi Deborah, thanks for your reply. I dread waking up every day now - that horrendous sick, painful feeling returns, I force myself to get up, check the news - Sturgeon resigns - dad and I would have talked about that and he’d have had some funny or clever take on it - just miss him so desperately and feel so empty and lonely without him. Hope you’re having a better day.
Hi Jack3
As you can see I am awake at all stupid hours mulling things over in my head as is the same every night.Coming on here helps me to write how I feel down and also to check on other people because even that helps me.
Life is so miserable for me at the moment.I can’t even smile and can’t see how I ever will again.Have no interest at all in anything and just go through the motions of getting through each day. I miss everything about my mum.Shecwas my ROCK in every sense of the word.I was so lucky she was my mum. My life is so empty without her. Yes I know the empty sick rock hard feeling in your heart well. It’s been like that for 6 or 7 weeks now and hadn’t changed at all.
I realise I have started a new life now and one I didn’t want or see coming.Where do I start I ask myself.I don’t even want to start a new life.
Just keep posting on here because it does help.Just typing your thoughts will help you connect with other people.
Thinking of you and will check on you again
Deborah x
Hi Deborah - thanks for replying and I’m sorry you’re struggling, but it all sounds so familiar to me - the only difference is I can sleep as I feel so permanently exhausted, in fact I could easily stay in bed all day, every day. Like you I have zero interest in anything and I can’t see myself ever feeling any enthusiasm for anything ever again, because I’ll never feel complete again. I’ll always be aching and sad. The pillar of unconditional love and support and humour and warmth that I’ve had all my life is gone forever. How can I adapt to that? Coming on here does help, as it’s the only place where others seem to understand the depths of this pain. Hope you have a better day today at least, and keep in touch. x
Hi Deborah and Jack. Hope your both ok. This journey of grief is a hard one. 
its werid cos time /life passers on… but half of me still feels stuck in the time before … that still want to be at the point when dad was still with us…
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Hi Hack and Oreotrio,
Feeling the same as yest
Stayed in bed almost all day in a rut. Dont want to do anything . Thank you for thinking of me
Deborah x
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Feel sick… cant believe Dad funeral this afternoon. feels surreal. Cant believe on Wednesday it will be 4 weeks since he passed. Got to get through today …
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Hi Jack and Deborah. How are you both. Well cant believe now 4 weeks have passed on since dad passed. Funeral went as well as could do. Glad hes at rest and the day is no longer looming over us all.
Just got to get use to this next chapter in life. The chaapter before with dad in it. And tge chapter without him in it. Xx
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Hi @Oreotrio I’m glad to hear the funeral went okay. I’ve been struggling to come to terms with the finality of the situation now. I look at photos of my dad last September when he was out and about and doing well and we were full of hope, and I just can’t process that he is gone forever just a few months later. I miss him desperately. Hope you’re doing a bit better. x
Hi Oreotrio,
The time after the funeral has been mega hard for me . the realisation that the funeral is over is sinking in . I don’t even know what the next chapter in my life looks like or where to start.
Things start to go quiet after the funeral and no one talks about my mum which is strange upsetting you name it.
Just feel lost in this world
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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Hi Jack,
I am the same as you I keep looking at photos of my mum on holiday with me the 2nd week in Sept walking in the Snowdonia mountains and paddling in the Sea. How on earth has this happened so quick? I wake up and can’t believe it and can’t believe I have actually held her funeral. Seems so unreal and I have to pinch myself to know it really has happened.
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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Hi Jack. Awe it is really so sad. I went through wishing and thinking if i could change things and dad still be here. But then decided there is no point to thinking like that because sadly we cant change a thing. Just have them in our thoughts and heart forever. I saw a robin the other day ,i was so happy . I convinced myself it was my dad. Its so werid that the world and life just continues, whereas ours has changed so much , forever with a piece missing. Hope your ok.
Hi Deborah, its werid thay life continues and ours has lost a important person . And life unfortunately will not be the same again. We have to keep them in our thoughts and hearts forever . Hope your ok
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Hi Oreotrio,
Thanks for replying Yes got through the day a little better than the day before. Managed to get some things ticked off my list so i guess that is what i need to do is to keep busy . I cant get my head round i will never see her again. I loved her with all my heart.
Deborah x
Abit flat and sad today… suppose feelings come and go. 5 weeks Wednesday since passed. Glad last monday over and not still hanging over us.