Feeling very down today just feel so alone family and friends just seem to have forgotten me my son hasn’t even time to text for months do they all think i can cope or carry on simple words i just don’t no how i can put up with this pain of losing my wife.
Crying nearly all the time just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I cant carry on i feel so depressed i really want to give up. Unlikely they would even care all i want is for my hurt and life to end
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Dear Sadnow, I had also a terrible lonely day today as well. I did not speak to anyone and started crying immediately after waking up, I always ask myself why I woke up again because I just want to be with my husband but then I hear his voice come on, sweetie-pie get up. And so I start another useless and painful day again. I suppose you feel the same. Some people (including family and friends) cannot handle or understand the terrible situation we are in. Please do not give up. We are going through this together. Sending lots of love and hugs.
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I’m sorry that you feel so low. Is there behaviour different since her passing or have they always gone a long time before contact?
I don’t people mean to be indifferent or ignore you. Some do just struggle with what to do for the best. Have you invited them or anyone around for a cup of tea or coffee. Maybe invite the rather than wait and see what they do.
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Sorry to hear you are having a bad day @Sadnow
Its crappy
Please do believe me you are not alone in the way you feel. Family and friends sometimes think you are just getting on with it so go back to their own busy lives esp after all the formalities are done.
Give yourself a hug. I know may sound silly but it works. Go on no one is looking just do it 
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sorry to hearthis. i know what its like with friends and family. its been 14 months now and no one has bothered to get in touch, or ask how i am, its as though i dont exist and my hubby didnt exist. I have deleted quite a few off my FB list, i cant be bothered with them. Even one of my daughters, who hadnt spoke to me for 4 yrs over death of grandson, i thought when i let her know about her father she would be in touch, apparently (as she lives quite a way from me, i told my other grandson to let her know) all she did was shrug her shoulders and ignored it.
there isnt anything you can do abouit people, they live in their own bubbles but its a different story when the shoe is on the other foot.
hope you feel better tomorrow
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I know what you mean about family & friends forgetting about you. My husbands best friend rang me today & was having a bad day, when he asked how I was I told him “not great”. His reply was why, what’s wrong? Missing Rich (hubby). He seemed taken aback. He knew it was our wedding anniversary last week & the anniversary of his death is coming up. First time he has rung me for months, not seen him for months & he lives in the same village as me. People just think you are over it, but you do not get over it - you just learn to live with it. I still want the hurt to go away. I have only just joined this site after seeing the TV ad, and thought it might help me. I don’t have anyone to talk to about how I feel. Just sad all the time & somehow keep it all inside now. Had counselling, which has finished, but think I need more. After reading a lot of the posts I think the people on here seem so, so kind - talk to them.
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Thank you for all you kind comments it seems that after i lost my wife of 51 years friends just didn’t even offer any condolences.
My daughter has been a tower of strength but i am ashamed that my son can’t even text saw him at the funeral in January and for 10 minutes on mother’s day, absolutely nothing since i feel abandoned some times i think what is the point of all this.
I am 76 now with good health but how long do i have to endure this nightmare living day after day same thing loneliness and grief it just never gets any beter.
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Thank you i feel that all i have done for family and what were friends they dont even have any thoughts as to how i feel or cope.
It seems to be a universal issue with all the very kind posts i have received without these kind words i think I would finally give up.
Thans everyone who sent hugs i really 
do need it know
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I have only been on this forum since i also saw tv advert i have gained great help from all the lovely people who have replied giving me some comfort knowing i am not alone
I hope that you can also find some comfort from all the incredible people who have experienced what we are going through
Hugs from m xx
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Do not give up. There is a life out there. It is not the life any of us want, but it is a sort of life that becomes a bit more tolerable. It is the loneliness that is the hardest part for me. Thinking of you. xx
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Dear warriner21, Some people are just thoughtless. They do not understand the terrible lonely situation were are all in. I still have to survive my first birthday, our first wedding anniversary, and the first Christmas and New Year without him. I already survived his birthday and Easter without him. At Easter, I always hid his presents and he had to look for them. He died on Valentine’s Day this year. One of my neighbours asks me why I am not going to Germany for a holiday to see my friends (I have no family left), he does not understand that my tears and despair are traveling with me and I have to return to a cold and empty house. Sending you lots and love and hugs.
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Thank you its one of those really bad days i think the loneliness is one of the worst times in my day lost all friends family live away son hasn’t text or talked since January neighbor’s treat you as some kind of outcast.
I really appreciate your kind words
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Dear Annaessex - I think people just do not understand what life is life after losing the love of your life, unless they have been in that situation. They do not want to think what it is like. Trying to be kind I would probably have been the same if I had not lost my love. I have a mum left, who is 81, and we lost my dad 15 months before my husband died - so basically she has kept me alive. Without her I would have ended it, but I could not have done it to her. She is a total force of nature, but I cannot dump this sadness & total despair I feel on her. My sister has been a total cow, who we both no longer talk to - that is how bad she is. I agree with you, it is the cold, empty house - with all the memories. Hugs to you too. Alison xx
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People are scared of what we are going through. We put on a mask, so that people are ok talking to us. Otherwise they are scared, they cannot handle what life is like for us. Platitudes are the worst for me. You will feel better - no I won’t. They would want you to go on - how do you know that. Sending hugs to you, we all know what you are feeling. xxx
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Everything I’ve read applies to me, I have had the worst day since my husband died nearly 11 weeks ago. I am becoming more and more upset, emotional and I cry so much. People have just more or less left me to get on with it, apart from WhatsApp messages and the usual ‘ get in touch if you need to’. 
. I feel in so much physical pain and today it really was hard to keep going. I worked in his garden where I used to feel such comfort and calmness but today was torture out there… I’m just feel every sign of him has gone, he’s just vanished from my life and it’s unbearable today. Of course I’m not telling anyone this so I’m on my own…just need to find some strength form somewhere
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Hi your not alone i lost my wife just before Christmas 2022 its is the loneliness the trauma of loosing a life long partner, with very little support from my family i have to cope with the nightmare of never seeing never touching 
again.
I have good days and like to today a really bad day crying.
Since i found this forum i have had lots of support to help me when I have a black day everyone is so kind as we all have lost someone who was the love of our life.
Sending lots of hugs 
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Thank you, it does help to know others feel the same and I’m not going mad. I thought because he was so ill the last couple of weeks. [ I spent the last 8 days and nights with him in hospital ,watching him slip away… we held hands almost until the end and I knew it was the right thing for him, he was so frail, tired and yet he still knew us ] that I could accept his death…. But I can’t, I just long to have him back again. I Know it’s bonkers …… I do feel very down today …I pray tomorrow might be a bit easier… thank you for all your messages xx
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Dear LinS1, I also have a bad day today. We are suffering a roller-coaster existence. Hopefully, I have enough strength and motivation to go shopping at Grays tomorrow. I wanted to go today, but I just could not make it. And hopefully, you are feeling better tomorrow as well. Sending lots of love and hugs.
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I think when I do something, go out, it is easier and then I’m seeing people but I feel my close friends have almost abandoned me [ I’m probably a bit paranoid]
I’m glad to go to bed at night and sleep with my little, lovely, cat beside me. I thought it would get easier but it’s getting much harder x
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No youre not being paranoid ! Thats what people do, family and friends just bugger off and leave you to it 
xx
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