Well it’s Saturday again the sun is shining and it’s going to be warm. But, what to do? I can go in the garden again and wear myself out or …
I just don’t know how I’m supposed to face another day without him. The longer it goes on the worse I feel. I know friends/family think I am doing well but they don’t see the inner agony/turmoil of it all. I want my husband back but know that will never happen. It’s just not fair. Sorry to be so negative.x
31 Likes
Not negative, honest!
I have been really struggling for a couple of days.
It came after a ‘better’ afternoon in the sun with friends.
So quite a drop!
I will probably be in the garden.
There is plenty to do but I find that yes, it keeps me busy but it doesn’t keep
my mind occupied.
For instance, when I was gardening yesterday I thought about how different it felt. When my husband was here, it was something we loved and would do together or in different parts of the garden. Yesterday, it was lonely and just something to fill the time.
So I definitely will have to find something occupy my mind.
Hope you have the best Saturday you can.
Big hug,
Rose x
9 Likes
Thank you Rose. That’s it though isn’t it? Just filling time instead of living a life. I am so down today. We would also be in the garden together but doing different things. My husband kept a lovely garden but as it’s so big I am just trying to keep on top of it. Can’t afford a gardener to come in. Just have to keep going I suppose and do my best. Big hug.x
9 Likes
Your not being negative, everyone feels the same on here, there is nothing we can do just go on as best we can. It has been weeks since I lost my husband but it is still so raw and lonely, will have to get used to it unfortunately. sending you a big hug x
9 Likes
Same here, the pain just isnt going. But yes we’ve got to get on with it. I did have a few good days, but they were followed by bad nights. Its never endin
Love and hugs to everyone
7 Likes
I am also trying to garden. It has now been 9 months since my partner died very suddenly. It has not got any easier. I find facing another day unbearable. I do not have a family and only two or three friends and I hate bothering them when I feel low. I hate my own company and want my partner back to keep me company but that is not going to happen.
6 Likes
Thank you everyone for your replies. It is very comforting and reassuring to know that I am not the only one feeling this way. Hope we all have as good a weekend as we can.x
6 Likes
I too am now sitting in the garden. I did some gardening yesterday but it was always John’s domain so I struggled thinking I hope he likes what I’ve attempted to do. My son is coming over late to cut the grass so it will look much better when that’s done. It’s been over three years for me and I still have a wobble but imagine I always will. A sudden sadness overwhelms me and I think what’s the point 
but the point is I have two sons who have lost their dad and four grandchildren who have lost their beloved grandad. So I plod on for their sake as much as mine.
Love to all
BIG hugs 
Georgina
17 Likes
I think he would admire you for tending the garden.
Big hugs xx
2 Likes
Thank you I hope so 
Georgina
1 Like
People have no idea about the inner turmoil,we are great actors everyone thinks I’m doing fine they have no idea how hard this road is.Its like climbing a mountain trying to keep on top of everything on our own.
10 Likes
I feel the same, it’s been 3 weeks and 6 days and i cant bare the feeling of being alone… it can be so overwhelming at times. I try to keep busy but im not sleeping , so feel so exhausted! Sending hugs to all
7 Likes
Big hugs x
Exavtly how i feel too ! Just filling time 
god what a crap life ! I had a really down day today too. Sometimes the sunshine just reminds you of the love you have lost So miss being cared for - so miss being loved x
8 Likes
The loss is so great. I understand.
Big hug x
2 Likes
I’ve felt exactly the same today, i was just filling time. I feel so lonely. The sunshine made me feel worse today instead of better.
When i read these posts i felt comforted that I’m not alone in feeling like this.
It so sad that others feel so down too but somehow it helps to share the feelings.
I hope we all have better days ahead.
Xx
8 Likes
I think that’s how it will feel for all of us for a long time. People tell me it gets better in time. My is very early days as 4 weeks tomorrow but i cant imagine a day when i wont miss him 
6 Likes
Same … i felt rubbish today and was such a relief that others felt the same ! Its a bit like rubbing salt in the wound on some of these sunny days. Had a nice day few days ago cos met 2 of my dog walker friends but today didnt see either and felt a bit sad …
Theres just some days you really feel alone isn’t there x
5 Likes
Exactly !
1 Like
Gets easier but you still have down days. Youre very early on in this you know and youre doing really well cos i could hardly talk to anyone in those early days ;( x
1 Like