Hi Karen We don’t know each other but I feel I an affection for you . Take care & look after your family & of course you. I know will each in our own way lay our darling husbands to rest but I as you want to be sure , but I’m sure we will be fine when we have made our decision. Take care & lots of love to you & your family.
.I have a date in my mind but not telling you ha ha I will let you know.x
Unhappy
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Awww thankyou I have a place not sure when tho. I haven’t decided to stay in our home or sell yet as it’s too big for me alone. We have to try be happy don’t we? It’s what they would want. Xxxx
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Hi Karen I like you are not sure when , thinking maybe his birthday not really sure . I do not want to move we lived here for 35 years & brought the family up , it’s only a three bedroom house so is not really too big but the extra rooms are quite handy for grandchildren.
Your right we do have to try & be happy I do laugh more than I cry now so must be coming to terms with all that has happened but as you know it’s so very hard but must keep going for the family, wouldn’t want them to be hurt again so soon I know they are all grown up and married but I know they need me a bit longer.
So come on deep breath & let’s try & have a good day that will make our husbands so happy. Lots of love
Unhappy
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I will I’ve smooth Radio on . Coffee . Happy Saturday 
Karen just been on the forum all about songs. I have been listening to them but am now really sad. Take a look . Don’t want to make you sad but thought you may like some of the songs. Under topic songs .
Have a good day
Unhappy x
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I play smooth radio everyday, cry sometimes or dance, my husband said I was crazy haha, but he loved me for that. I hope he’s watching me dancing. Xxxxx music is beautiful but painful too. Xx
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Dear Unhappy,
I think whatever you decide to do will be the right decision. If your children do not want to be involved, out of fear of upset, then you should do whatever feels right for you and your husband.
With my Dad, I collected his ashes the week after the service. I couldn’t bare to leave him with the undertaker but that is personal preference. I ordered jewellery, a small urn, and scatter tubes for myself, my grandma, my auntie and my cousin.
I made the plan to scatter Dad in the same month as his passing. Part of me wanted to get it over with and not have it looming over my head as I still had so much to sort through and finish up. I planned a small gathering out in Aboyne, a small Scottish town not far from where I stay, it’s a very special place for me and Dad, we used to camp there a lot. I remember one summer when the Aboyne games was on; and you could win a goldfish as a prize, we won one! I was so excited and determined to hold it all the way back home on the back of my Dads motorbike! In the morning, in our hurry to get home, we forgot about the poor fish Dad had tied to a tree… safe to say, I was heartbroken when I realised! Dad went to the pet shop the day after and got me a little fish. He is wonderful, I’m so glad I turned out so much like him.
We also threw his funeral family flowers into the river before the scattering off the bridge. It felt right, I felt my Dad there. My flower initially kept floating back to me, I knew my Dad never wanted to leave me. We were very close, my best friend in the world.
So, I’d planned a scattering for family to be involved too. But I left some for me to do my own special scattering, in Shetland where I was born. Dad LOVED Shetland, he used to go up in the summers and stay with family and work in the fish. I went up last month with my partner and found two special places to scatter some there too. That also felt right. I swear I heard my Dad saying ‘thank you’ as I released him. I don’t see it as a ‘resting’ place. Before my Dad’s illness, he was very active. Always out on the motorbike, working on the bikes, visiting friends. I think I’ve left him in his favourite places to continue his adventure, he rides free now 
despite him being able to go anywhere, I still feel him with me.
I’ll forever miss my Dad but I take comfort knowing I did everything in my power to give him the send off he deserved, and left him in his favourite places. Also, at home with me in his mini special moon urn.
X
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Thank you for your lovely message I really enjoyed reading it .I am getting ideas now thank you once again. Take care x
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Hi Karen, at risk of diverting from the original topic I must just reply to you. I too love dancing and my husband also used to watch me from the kitchen and then try to copy me but as he had three left feet he usually made me laugh so much. Now after struggling for some months after his death I have found my love of dance movements again and if I am struggling I can now put on music and dance or do Yoga, anything to take away the pain of the moment. I have both his ashes and a photo in front of me as I dance so he can still see me.
xx
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Awww that’s so nice, I have my husbands ashes here too and a photo of him in every room of the house. Xxxxx I love to dance to Smooth Radio
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Hi Karen, Yes photo’s in every room in the house as well as his paintings. I carry a photo of him also and very often just take it out and give him a kiss. I only have some of his ashes but wish I had kept all of them.
xxx
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I have a photo in each of my handbags so he’s with me wherever I go. Xxxxx sending hugs and love
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I suppose some people would call us daft but it gives us comfort. My husband asked me to take him with me when I went walking (we was both Ramblers and keen walkers) I promised him I would. I talk to him as I walk and take out his photo and show him where I’m walking. I have a locket with some of his ashes in so he’s there with me.
Pat xx
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I take a picture when I go days out so I feel he’s been with Us. Xxxx
My husband knew he was not going to beat his cancer and he asked me to scatter his ashes in the stream at his beloved golf club . It was our 47th wedding anniversary 3 months after he passed away . So me my daughters and their families and 6 very close friends met at dusk on the small bridge by the stream . We took his picture done Prosecco and red roses for everyone . As hard as it was I said a few words of goodbye and scattered some of his ashes then floated the rose in the water then the others all followed by the light of two pretend church candles . It was very emotional but exactly what he wanted . Then we all toasted him by the water before leaving g him at his final and much loved resting place . This was the right thing to do and so very personal for all those who meant so much to him .
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My darling husband died 10 months ago, the ashes are still at the FDs bit different in my case as the fed is our son. Some of the ashes are going in a pendant, some in the garden round some roses, and some I will keep in our bedroom. When the time is right I think we know, it’s different for everybody, do what your heart tells you.
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My husband and best friend passed away 7 months ago but I didn’t scatter his Ashes for a couple of months afterwards.
When I felt the time was right for me, I contacted the Crematorium to arrange a date.
I wanted him scattered where his Mum’s Ashes had been scattered 20 years and the Crematorium told me this was possible.
My immediate family told me they had said their goodbyes as he died at home but my two special friends said they would accompany me.
As we scattered his Ashes a butterfly flew over where I had scattered his Ashes.
I immediately felt that it was his way of saying his final goodbye and that moment made me realise he was at peace.
I miss him dreadfully but I am carrying on with my life without him beside me.
Not easy, but I know it is what he would want me to do.
xxx
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I know what I’m doing with my husbands, just can’t yet as my son is struggling bad, won’t talk about his dad’s sudden unexpected death , he was only 55. My son was 31 yesterday wouldn’t celebrate his birthday without his dad. Even put the card I sent next to my husband/his dads Ashes in my bedroom. So sad. Xxx I lost my husband only 10 months ago, to be honest I’m struggling carrying on without him. Xxx
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I didn’t scatter my husbands ashes until the 2nd anniversary of his passing. I was just not ready to let him go. The funeral director kept them for me until I was ready.
I had to go to them and collect them and the minister who did his funeral did a small service with just my immediate family before I scattered them on the water which was his wish.
You will know on your heart when the time is right, it it seems there is never a right time.
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Thank you, I’ll know when I’m ready, bit soon yet as Son struggles still:cry: