This weekend I am scattering marks ashes at a place in the Lake District that we both love and it’s what he wanted. Going with my daughter and son in law on Saturday til Tuesday and we are scattering his ashes on Sunday which is his birthday. I haven’t done anything like this before so will be very anxious about doing it but at the same time I’ll be pleased he will be laid to rest properly.
He thought he wasn’t going to get there again but we had a lovely week there last June and he managed much better then we thought getting around. So we are taking him back.
He proposed to me at the Lake District on a seat in a church yard. My daughter suggested scattering some ashes at the seat as well but I’m not sure. I feel it would be like splitting him and think he should be in one place. Maybe I’ll feel differently on the day. These decisions are so hard to make but I suppose I have to go with my gut feeling.
I know some of you get comfort from having the ashes near you and that’s good if it works for you. We have to do whatever it takes to help us through this awful grief.
Personally that doesn’t work for me and when I got his ashes I put them in a cupboard out of sight. That’s why I need to put him to rest somewhere that he loved and where we had such a lot of happy times.
Sorry for the long post just wanted to share with you xx
Hi Barbara, we did exactly the same as you, and for the same reasons. But ours was is the sea at Looe in Cornwall, we never made it back for that last holiday there.
It was on my husband’s birthday, the whole family went 11 of us. It was very special and emotional, when our eldest granddaughter cried it started us all off. Because of covid we couldn’t have the funeral we would have liked, so this was finally laying him to rest, and it was lovely for us all to spend time together.
When its my time our children are going scatter me in the same spot.
I did scatter a small amount in our garden so part of him is always near me. He loved being in our garden too.
What a beautiful part of the country the lake District is, and such happy memories for you. X X
We’re scattering Chris’s ashes off the breakwater near our home on the 29th of this month. He loved the sea and living by the coast
I think it each to it’s own as to whether you keep their ashes near you or not. I put Chris’s in Granddad’s Shed so that he’s in his workshop still working on his trains and the flight simulator he built as a distraction from the cancer and treatment
Hopefully the day will bring you peace knowing you had fullfilled the promise you made to him.Take care
Cornwall is a beautiful place. It was on our list of places to visit but sadly didn’t make it. I’ve been when I was young and remember it being lovely but mark had never been xx
That’s nice that his ashes are where he spent time doing something he loved.Hope it brings peace to you too when you scatter them xx
It was one of Doug’s favourite places, we often dreamed of moving there but never did. He was a coach driver and went all over UK and Europe, Cornwall was always his favourite place. I’m going back this summer on holiday with our daughter, son in law and grandchildren. Just going to sit on the beach to near where he is. X X
Six months since Gary died and I can’t face scattering his ashes yet. Hope we will work out the right thing to do eventually. I feel the need to put him to rest but can’t decide where. Our children say to wait until it feels right.
Dear Barbara61
Everyone is different and we have to do what is right for us, or what was asked by our loved one. My husband died suddenly in a tragic road accident. He never said what he wanted, but I always said that I wanted my ashes scattered on a beach where we used to spend family holidays. The beach cannot be reached by road and you have to cut through farm land, So I hired one of the farm cottages last year for me, daughter, son, their partners and our little grandsons and we scattered his ashes on the beach together. I have hired the cottage for us all again. I have no concept of my husband’s presence but hope that he is there by our side and also waiting for me.
The Lake District is a beautiful place. Will be thinking of you and your family.
Thank you Sheila. It sounds a lovely place where you scattered your husbands ashes and it’s good you are going back there. I’m sure he will be watching over you xx
Your children are right you do it when you are ready. When you are I’m sure you will know what to do.
We have had this arranged for a while. We thought his birthday would be a good time.
Xx
Hi Barbara, My Jan’s ashes are scattered in the Lake District. We had so many holidays there, and loved it. Its been 5 years 8 months since. I go back once a year, at least, to place some roses, and say a few words, and shed a few more tears. We have just got back, a week ago. My ashes will be scattered there also, along with hers. We had a week there, just before she be came too ill to be able to travel too far.
I hope you get some comfort from knowing he is somewhere you both loved. xx
Hi TonyM
Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I’m so pleased we managed to have our week there last year.
It’ll be strange going back but it will stir good memories.
Like you I plan to have my ashes scattered at the same place.
Xx
Dear Barbara61
Thank you. Yes the beach and coastline are utterly beautiful. On one side Bamburgh Castle, on the other Holy Island. We don’t regret the location, just the timing of it all. He had only just turned 60 and we were looking forward to retirement a few months after he died. Just so heartbreaking.
Hi sheila26
I live in the north east and know exactly where you mean . I was just there 3 weeks ago it is beautiful, such a lovely coast.
Mark was 10 years older than me (70 when he died) and he had only been retired a few months when he was diagnosed with cancer. I left work in feb 2019 to look after him. Like you had so many plans for retirement.
Xx
Hi all, this is something I have been thinking about a lot, it’s 6 months today since Pete passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly and in the days leading up to his funeral his 4 children, all adults now, and I agreed that he would like to be scattered on the sea because he loved it so much, we also thought it would be good to do it on his 60th Birthday in June.
I am using some ashes to have a ring made so I’ll always have a part of him close to me.
I recently found out that you can have the ashes scattered in space.
Space travel was a huge passion of Petes and as ihad become possible he used to say if we ever won the lottery it would be his dream to go on a flight into space.
It’s something I am now looking into, and will discuss with his family.
Muldool
Hi muldool
You have some lovely ideas for scattering Peter’s ashes and I’m sure what ever you decide he would approve and be proud of you.
I’m hoping I can get some peace on doing it as I feel mark will be at rest properly at somewhere he loved.
Xx
Dear Barbara61
Thank you. We stumbled on this beach many years ago when on holiday at Seahouses and have a few family pictures of our children playing enjoying their time on the beach. I did the scattering on a date months before my husband’s anniversary, because I can neither say nor write that date ever again. I wanted the kids to have something different to focus on and hopefully they can continue this even when its my time.
I used to work in County Durham for DCC so know the area well.
Take care. xxx
Hi
Well today was mark’s birthday and we scattered his ashes where he wanted at the Lake District. We played the Beatles in my life which was played at his funeral and said a poem which was also said then. The sun was shining and as we stood there a couple of pine cones fell off the tree. We think it was a message from him. I picked one up to keep. I think he would be very proud of us today.
I feel like he’s at rest properly now xx
That sounds lovely Barbara. Most certainly those pine cones were “messages”. It’s good that the scattering brings you a little peace.
I took half of my fiancé ashes home to Scotland and we layed them to rest on Saturday. It was hard but it was the right thing to do his family have half of him there and we will lay half to rest here… and that’s how he lived his life half was in Scotland and his last half down south.
He missed terribly but I do feel at peace now know he in his final resting place…
I hope you get some peace and laying him where you have happy memories…