Im having the same reaction from my daughter, of all people. She is grieving too for her dad, but when i happened to speak to her in a way she didnt like, she didnt speak to me for a few weeks. She is contacting me by text etc now, but i havent seen her for at least a month and my husband, her father, died 2 months ago. I see my son, but i have to visit him. He does not visit me, so i am totally alone with my little elderly dog.
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Hi Lonley it is true everyone greives differently no matter who has passed however those insensitive hard hearted no feeling individuals if they do get married or already married will eventually understand what we are going through.
These incentives individuals seem to think that you can just get on with life as usual after the funeral do they not know and understand that our life will never be the same
Life for me has changed so much today I went to my usual pharmacy to collect medication that was not available yesterday I told the receptionist my name he asked what is your name I told him again speaking slow then he asked what is your last name again I told him then he really pushed my button asking if my name was double barreled I wanted to shout at him but just moved away and took a deep breath
I find that behavior like this makes me angry which never use to bother me I really donāt like greif and all the things that come with it.
I know that I will never stop greiving for my husband who passed 2months now but I hope the feelings and traits that come with the greif will eventually change I miss the person I use to be that happy bubbly person will I ever find her again 
am just riding the rollacoster as it comes never knowing what the next day will be like or how I will be feeling
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Iāve just got off the phone with my sister who tore into me and accused me of keep butting in while she was still talking Iāve just realised itās because I live on my own like so many of us not my sister. And I havenāt got my husband to ask about the problems that swirl around my head constantly and looking for a bit of advice so I butt in in case
I forget to tell her these things I think Iām just looking for a few answers
Does this make any sense ? Sometimes I feel my life is not my own and Iām constantly trying to please people some of my so called family havenāt even seen me since my husband died 2 yrs ago family. I donāt think so ! I wish I could run away and tell the manipulators to bugger off Sorry rant over Thanks for listening thank god for this site xx
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Dont apologise for ranting it is good to get it off your chest I know what you mean you have to say these things when they pop in to your mind ,my mum wrights list so she doesnāt forget but note pad isnt always handy ,things I just to find easy are now hard I over think things and get myself in to a right state ,if you need to rant people here will listen x
Hi Liz7
As yvettea says you have to say things as they pop into your mind and I often apologise to people before I start talking to them as I am aware I do it all the time to , but I have to say it straight away or I forget what it was by the time they have finished talking. So I explain this first as some people do seem to get offended by it. Especially after the shock of grief the brain does not seem to retain information for more than a Nanosecond.
I would have expected a bit more understanding from your own sister tho.
Take care jss
Oh thank you you are all so lovely to talk to . Thanks for getting back to me I do appreciate it even with family and friends
It gets lonely but on this site we are all feeling the same
and we understand each other. Thanks again xx
My assumption is they havenāt experienced a close grief, I hadnāt until my sister was taken, I really donāt think people know how grief can totally take over without you even realising it, in the space of a split second you can bebroken all over again and didnāt see it coming, the wave of pain that comes when the realisation hits you again that you canāt speak to them, text them, and in the case of a partner sleep next to them, cuddle them. It was very insensitive of the colleague, try not to let it get to you, take your time in your grief, everyoneās journey is different, take care
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I found losing my husband last December was a different type of pain than when my lovely Mum died 5 years ago.
I thought losing her was the worst thing that happened to me.
But losing the man I lived with, spent every day with was terrible. It still tears me apart every day. I really donāt have time for idiots like your colleague, glad youāre blocking her.
I lost my husband of 51 years only 2+ months ago. I am inconsolable. I am on my own in a big 3/4 bedroom house. I want to sell it and move to one with maybe 2 bedrooms so i would have space for someone to stay with me occasionally. Both my so and daughter dontvwant me to sell this house as itvwas ādads houseā. No thought about me at all. Im so sad, sitting looking at his empty chair. I know id be taking it with me, but i would be less isolated than whereci am now. I do think ill move sooner, rather than later.
Itās so hard, my mum is selling up because everything she passes my sisters roomit breaks her, she found bobbles with her hair still in them, your children will be grieving but need to understand where you are in your grief, its you thatās left alone at night with your big house and your thoughts, not an easy journey, I hope they soon see your pain aswell as their own, grief is so awful and painful, my thoughts are with you
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Hi Barbara68
I have also suffered from my daughters harsh words. After my husband passed 3 years ago (Sept) I was called to her house by the fire brigade on Xmas day.
She was burning something in the garden and then had gone indoors and had a diabetic hypo. Her conservatory was burned with all the windows out and I spent all Christmas day and boxing day cleaning up the mess. I had no time to mourn my husband as she came to live with me shortly afterwards with her 3 cats and my grand daughter. When I politely asked her to keep my house tidy she packed everything up and left then never spoke to me again for a year. It broke my heart as she turned my other daughter against me and I was left completely alone at the saddest time of my life.
Although I tried to sort it all out with her she has cut me off again and sent me some heartbreaking messages by text saying I have never cared for her and not to contact her again.
I have always helped her with her money and problems regarding work and have sought out so many problems on her behalf.
I donāt know why we suffer these things when we are grieving but we do. I am now trying to get my life in some order but it breaks my heart that I have been treated like this by my own family.
I feel for you too as our families are the ones we need to support us in dark times.
I have been told that my daughter is grieving too, so thats why shes acting in this way. That just doesnt sound logical to me. We should be comforting each other, not pushing eachbother away.
However It does sound as if your daughter has more serious problems than grief, which is adding to the problem. Maybe she should be urged to see a counsellor.
Hi Liz just read your post thank you for mentioning about the shock greif has on your mind I honestly thought there was something wrong with me after the death of my husband 3months now, my mind was always sharp and good at remembering things I now find that I have to wright down stuff as they come to mind or I will forget at the snap if a finger.
Greif is such a horrible thing I also find that I get angry and upset very easily at the simplest of things.
Thank you since that rude statement from my colleague I have not heard from her or tried to contact her which I am grateful for cause she had shown me the type of person she really is (selfish and insensitive).
Itās now 3months since the passing of my soulmate and does not seem to be getting better
Dear Cpmb1958,
You have done nothing wrong. If this other person is aware of your loss then they are an asshole. End of.
Kieran x
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Itās 5 months since my sister and feels like yesterday, I am having periods of coping well but work is awful, my manager has no understanding, she said we all have stuff on when I said I was finding it hard, Iām the cook supervisor of a school kitchen, 3 of us in the kitchen, I have lost my sister and my Dad is dying if Lung cancer but holding on, my assistants mum is dying of cancer and the other lady has just been diagnosed with the cancer that my sister died of, she has been told hers hasnāt spread and sheās going to be OK so thatās really good, my assistant brother phones work regularly implying their mum is dying like now, my heart sinks, the night of our phone call comes back with vengeance only to find out heās not 100% correct, the stress is awful and my boss has just brushed it off, such a joke to be honest, to imply we all have stuff on while Iām the only one who is grieving aswell as trying to cope with my Dad and work staff is so insensitive, my eyes have definitely been opened to how selfish people are
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I relate to so much of what is said on this thread. Lean.mil, I also had a manager who told me much the same during my Sisterās illness, and after she died. She said āwe all have problems.ā Whilst I was the only one in the office who had a family member with cancer, and eventually passed from it. To add to the outrage, my line of work is in the Mental Health field, where one would expect more insight into grief from a so-called professional. Some people are awkward, but others are simply just cruel. I can no longer make excuses for them. So sorry you (and everyone) are exposed to such ignorance in your time of vulnerability, Xxx
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Oh gosh Iām sorry you had it too, especially in the work line of mental health, thatās so insensitive, in the world of be kind that always being put about the place but some people are far from it, take care
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Thanks Ks78 yes she is
Oh wow you really have alot on your plate at the moment I empathise with you I know it canāt be easy especially when you have inconsiderate work colleagues I have had to put my work colleague their place and now she is trying to reach out to me but honestly she has shown no her true colours and I really canāt be bothered.
We are here for each other in this forum
Take care 
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