My husband & I were not intimate for the last 4 years. But now its like something has woken up. Married to same man 42 years so if I wanted to start a new relationship in the future I wouldn’t know where to start.


Hi @Debra64, there’s a really supportive thread in which lots of members are discussing new relationships. You can find it here: 8 years later... dating again if you’d like to join in?

Dont worry if your lucky enough to meet someone it will happen when your ready but dont get pushed in to it
Simon X

I’m similar. No intimacy for over 5 years. Now I can’t stop thinking about. I’ve been through this before - lost my first wife 30 years ago and I was into a new relationship (with my recently passed wife) within 3 months. Now all I want is a new partner.


If it helps you, go for it. No-one will judge. If they do, they’re not worth worrying about. It’s your life, you have to try and get whatever you need to survive this. You are so unlucky to have had this happen twice. But you have discovered previously that it is possible to be happy again.


@Debra64 What you are feeling is normal reaction. I felt that way too, no intimacy last few years before he died mainly due to his ill health. The first few months were awful, I just wanted him so much. Now two years on I’m coping with those feelings much better.
For me there will be no-one else, but we are all different and want different things.
Don’t worry about it, if it happens you will remember, wishing you well.
Debbie x


Sorry of this upsets anyone but I can’t really take in what you have written Sims.
With another woman within three months and now desperate for a new partner. What has happened to love and respect for your lost wife. We all want a loving relationship but that is it LOVE and as I still love my husband I don’t want to fall into bed with someone else. Neither would I want some man who has only lost his wife a short time ago coming onto me just because he is desperate for a new partner and sex. Take it easy and grieve for your wife and then you might be ready to go into a new relationship.


I understand and respect your point of view Pattidot but the wonderful family I now have is a result of doing exactly that after the loss of my first wife. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

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Hi Sims
I’m pleased it turned out alright for you but I find it hard to understand as I could never have wanted another partner so soon after losing my husband and still don’t. Takes all sorts I suppose.


Hey Sims,
I hope you find someone new…
What is the point of being alive if you aren’t actually living and no-one really loves being alone.
Same is said for a broken heart the only real way to mend one is by finding love again, I think it take courage to pick yourself up after losing someone you love and to live again.