That’s a lovely thing to do! not crazy at all, we do what we need to do to get through each day, keeping their memory alive is what is important to us, the sadness and moments of agonizing grief will always be there, but for us to have these moments of happy memories and to celebrate their lives is what gets us through the dark times. I wish you well.
dreadfully sad yr husband dying so young.
When my husband died in the Dec over 4 yrs ago.
I went & bought a bauble for the Christmas tree with an O, on it as his name was Oliver,
& I buy a bauble every year so I can remember him, when I unpack the decorations.
It was my mum and dad’s 69th wedding anniversary on 28th March. I visited the crematorium as the book of Remembrance records them both on that day. I took flowers and a card and played them a few Nat King Cole songs near where their ashes were scattered. For their 70th I will haveca rose tree planted in their memory. It will be my husband and my 46th wedding anniversary is in a few days. The first since he died. I’ll be celebrating it. I’m not sure how yet as I haven’t scattered his ashes yet. I bought a sapphire eternity ring a few months ago using some of his money after probate had been settled. Don’t take any notice of what others think, Misprint. It’s no one elses business except yours. As far as I’m concerned I’m still married and will be until I die and I’m sure you will too.
Yes definitely do whatever you like and what brings you comfort xx My mum was killed in Feb this year and I got her mother’s day present and card and will get her Easter card and birthday card this month x
Do it. My daughter died 2 years ago but the family get together to celebrate her birthday and we have set free a balloon for each year and all attached a note to our balloon just for her. I don’t care what people think, just because she isn’t here doesn’t mean we can’t recognise it xx
Someone once said a person isn’t truly gone, until we stop talking about them, I talk about Shell all the time, I even talk to her, So celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, because at heart they are still with us.
Take care all x
Misprint you go ahead and fill ya boots and do whatever makes you feel happy. If buying a card , flowers and putting them on your loved ones grave then do it as it’s been already said sod others . Enjoy your day as best you can and do whatever makes you feel happy and close to him . Take care Karen
That’s a lovely thing to do Pauline, to keep them close at Christmas, my Mother in law bought us a clear bauble with his photo inside last Christmas, we already had one with his brother and dad, it makes me so sad, I prefer to hang the ones we bought together over the years, on holiday etc. But I think me buying one for him this year would be nice, he loved Christmas so much.
Hello, yes, of course you can still celebrate your wedding anniversary.! Anyone who says you can’t is, in my view, insensitive, with no idea of what you are going through. I always get a Birthday card for my boyfriend even though he died 4 years ago. No one has any business saying you are not married anymore. I would actually find that a very hurtful thing to hear. As you say you didn’t get divorced. Your husband died. Unfortunately, some people just don’t seem to be able to understand how we feel and just want to tell us to “move on”! They may think they are helping but they aren’t. Remembering a lost loved one is very precious and does help the healing process. You should do what feels right for you.
I celebrated my 49th anniversary last Thursday. I thought the same as you, do I celebrate it. As far as I’m concerned I’m still married and it death do us part. But I’m still alive. I went to my husband s memorial rose ( I haven’t disposed of his ashes yet) and put a crocheted rose in the little vase. Then I walked into Edinburgh and went to an art set up called the Doves of peace, it was in St Giles cathedral and it was lovely. Then I came home and made myself a steak. Next year will be harder as we we’re planning to make it special with family and friends. It’s only been 9 months since I lost Stuart.
No you are not been weird at all. I think it is a lovely thing to do . You will always be married to him in your heart as I will be to my husband. . I lost my amazing husband suddenly in November, it would have been his birthday in January and our anniversary in March and I celebrated both. For his birthday I made an area in the garden and put a rose in and filled it with lots of bulbs. I had a plaque made and put it among the flowers. I know he would have loved the gesture. He loved our garden. We spent so many happy hours gardening together. My daughter bought me flowers on our anniversary and a dear friend bought a candle so I could light it and remember Ken on our anniversary. Both days were so hard and very emotional. You do what is best for you not what other people think you should do. Take care of yourself. Xx
Last year on our first anniversary since Kev died, I revisited the village where we had our wedding photos taken. I stood in the spots where the photos were taken and took pictures on my phone of the same places,
It was my way of remembering the best time of my life.
You do whatever you want xxxx
The family celebrated my late wife’s birthday in January and I bought some flowers. That was the first birthday since she died. I will get flowers for our wedding anniversary in august it would have been our 45th
My wife and I were in the same class of 8 students at university for four years, and never said more than hello to each other in that time. We met by chance four months after graduating and went for a coffee that lasted four hours. We got engaged two days later, and married three months after that. That was 44 years ago. Sadly she passed away on 22nd December 2020, Our 43rd wedding anniversary was on 29th April 2021. I celebrated that one and I will celebrate the next one and every one after that as we were married for eternity. We tried to get the wedding vows changed when we got married to remove the “until death does you part” bit. We were told that we couldn’t do that, so we had to say it. However we knew that we would love one another forever, and so would be married for eternity. I still say that I am married, because I am. Yes, you should celebrate your anniversary.It shows how strong that your love for each other is (and not was).
It’s our 44th wedding anniversary next Friday 15th April, yes I am going to celebrate, I even still get a card which I put in my memory box after the day. Happy Anniversary runningbill
Well maybe im right or wrong. My hubby died nearly 3 years ago. I celebrate our 1st date, wedding anniversary, birthdays. I go out with my one and only son for the day. maybe a walk , ,lunch, dinner. whatever takes out fancy. We used to go to our favourite restaurant . But got to painful. I think you should do what’s best for you. Ps. we don’t celebrate but do meet up for the date that my hubby died. how long we will keep doing all this. well i don’t know. like i say just doe what’s best for you and how you feel.