Hi 1978,
I am much further on than you (it will be 3 years next December) but it still doesn’t get any easier. In some ways it’s worse as as time goes on you realise that this is your new life (that I don’t want).
I too though take consolation as my husband was quite ill for a long time. He always tried to be cheerful but the last few weeks before his death were very difficult for him. Yes I am so glad he is not going through any more pain, and also the pain of heartache that I go though every day - it would have been so awful for him physically.
I also couldn’t bear the thought of him being up the crem I like him at home with me x
Hi Yvette,
I know what you mean. Although we have taken some of his ashes to Llandudno (which was his favourite place and my daughter told me he wanted them to be taken there), I also have some at home in a little pot in my bedroom. In my garden, I have benches with plaques on. One just says ‘Eddie’s bench’ and the other says ‘Eddie - watching the world go by’. He used to sit for hours ‘people-watching’ as he said (we live across from a pub so could get interesting sometimes!). He was not religious so not much point going up to the crematorium ever week or so (apart from he would have hated that). There is a little table inbetween the benches, and from over two years ago I have a picture in a frame there and some flowers. I have to change it every so often due to the weather, but I will carry this on until I don’t know when. I look out of my front window to check on it every day. His friend left a can of bitter by the picture last year (he was his drinking buddy over the years) and told me the other week that he will do the same again as he misses him a lot too. It gives me some comfort to see the picture and flowers, though I miss him desperately 
xxx
That is a lovely tribute the picture and flowers and especially the can of beer lol my husband spent lockdown building a bar in the back garden for his birthday this year my daughter got a picture done at a printers that is weather proof and put it on the bar I don’t know if there is somewhere near you that does that sort of thing it would save his photos x
Aw, what a good idea, I will have to look into this. I do laminate the picture before I put it in a frame (which does prolong the life of the picture) but that does sound better really xxx
1 Like