@Deb5 How are things with you?
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So so you know ! Not very happy today really 
people are getting on my nerves ! Life is getting on my nerves ! Its too hard all this isnt it ? My husband was so chilled out ! Much better than me really ⌠its not fair is it although i dunno how he wouldve coped without me tbh if other way round . think he wouldve gone to pieces xx
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@Deb5 it is so hard. My husband wouldnât have coped, he would have just buried himself in work, my son even said âif it had been you mum dad would have joined you very soonâ. I glad in a way its me left, I would have hated him to have gone through this, so I feel I am doing this for him. Sorry you are not having a happy day, I just have to keep myself busy, so I spent the day in the garden pottering. Itâs just avoiding the obvious but its the only way I can function. I suppose we just have to do what we feel is right for ourselves. Hope tomorrow is a little easier xx
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Yeh i been quite busy - went on walk on canal with dog , did some cleaning ! Just get down. Everybody knew him around here and all i see sometines is pity in their eyes then that makes me feel even worse. As somebody on here said a bit ago in here its easier with people you dont know !!! Xxx
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@Deb5 & all the lovely people on here . I feel the same & I block it out and when I stop & think there is that great massive brick wall caving in on me again 
xxx
Hugs to you all 
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My Bry would definitely not cope if the other wzy round & although I HATE this I would t like him to be going through it xxx
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No i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy tbf ⌠its so hard isnt it ? I feel like im living in the twilight zone half the time its such a strange one ⌠crying one minute, trying to.be brave the next ? I dunno when will this pain and suffering we have to endure ever end ? No wonder older people dont survive it ! I often wonder if i will ? Time will tell i suppose bless you all .xxx
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I know we go away today & im a complete mess as Bry should be with us , canât stop crying, wish I had cancelled it now xxx
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I feel exactly the same at 4 months. Our wedding anniversary is this week and Iâm dreading it donât know how Iâll get through the day. This site really helps to know that we all feel the same.
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@NMcC1 special days are hard. It was my husbandâs birthday last week. My first âfirstâ. The few days before I was in a terrible mess but on his actual birthday i coped ok. Hoping you get through your anniversary as best you can. Sending hugs.
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I really worried about the first birthday. I did ok as well, I think it was because I went out for dinner with our closest friends, so we shared any grief. I guess it shows the truth of the old saying,âa trouble shared is a trouble halvedâ.
I think being in a group with strangers would have been a real trial.
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@sandi - thank you for always being there for me - this community and your contribution to it really helps to keep me going. Today, the sun is shining and I have choices of what to do now my homework is done - hurrah! Todayâs tasks included figuring out how to improve the EPC on the little house I am buying. It is not as awful as I thought and I get to choose a new range oven, too. They all look great. So the EPC hurdle is cleared - albeit with quite a long run up (!) - and I can stop worrying about that. Bish, bosh! Loads of love, everyone - we are making our way through the long weekend together x
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Try and enjoy if you can the break ! Make sure you take his pic with you ! Xxx
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I lost my husband 5 weeks ago to cancer .i feel i dont want to live without him .i feel so lost .empty .i hate what has happened.
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@Franky56 - this is so hard for you, so very hard. We all understand on here so please donât think you are on your own. We are going through this together. Some of us are further down the road - my husband Tom died of blood cancer in January 2022 and I know these feelings all too well. Keep posting how you feel if it helps to get it out there. I felt overwhelmed when Tom died and spoke to him, called to him, particularly at night - pouring the words out, pouring the pain out into the darkness. Oddly, it helped - I would have burst with grief otherwise. Hold tight, stay close to your friends here - we are with you x
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Thankyou .i feel so bitter and angry .my husband was misdiagnosed .he could of had treatment he was left for 9 months .when he was diagnosed last August. The hospital admitted the cancer had been missed .unfair it was incurable and inoperable bye then .the tumour was too big .i feel i have been robbed of my husband .the pain is so unbearable x
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Hi @Franky56. Vancouver has summed up extremely well how things will improve. Its almost impossible to see it when we are deep in the grief in the first few weeks. Its difficult to predict how long it will take before our lives restart. If it helps, Iâm 13 months, and sure my life is back to being worthwhile again.
Good luck, and be confident. The bitterness and anger will slowly disappear, Im sure.
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Dear @Franky56
It is similar to me ! My husband was admitted to hospital year before - supposed to have a scan so how did they miss things then ? And then last year found cancer ⌠too late and he passed 16 December 2022 ! Why are they missing all these red flags and our men are dying cos they are so crap at their job !!! i was really angry too ! So angry 
but now im just sad cos i miss him ! Xxx
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10 weeks for me and feel exactly the same as you . Whatâs the point ? Living in pure agony everyday? Itâs getting harder, not easier
Sending hugs. Xxxx
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