Hi Trac.
Like many others on here I too have no fear of death now. When Ron was here I wanted to live forever.
I would not have treatment ( to extend life by a year or whatever.) I saw what it did to my Ron.
I would not want to spend an extra year so sick that I could not enjoy it.
Hi Gary54
I cannot believe how alike your husband and mine were…George was a man of few words and like your husband he spoke little. This was more as he got older. He was very quiet and I initiated a lot of the conversation between us. You are right in saying that we should try and eat one meal together. I had my last session with the Sue Ryder counsellor today or yesterday now as it is 1,34 am in UK she said what you said it would be nice to eat together it was my last session and counselling for me has been very helpful.
My husband certainly was an actor as he kept so many issues with his health from me I understand that this was his nature. Sadness also often creeps in with me this is due to thinking a lot and things I wish happened between George and I that didn’t. It is so sad he died so suddenly. I feel that George wanted to leave this earth and be with the Lord especially as he wasn’t well,
I have had lots of prayers said for me and my family and equally I am praying for others such as those on this site including you Gary54 and your family. We who have hope for an eternal life can bring that hope and love to others.
Good night Juneie
Hi Juneie
All of what you wrote about your George applied to Gary especially as he became a little older too.
So incredible.
I want to thank you personally for your prayers for me.
Thank you kindly.
I read somewhere that when we pray for others we are the most like Jesus. …touching…
However, I should pray much more for others.
Thank you for reminding me.
I do believe that Gary had the same mindset about him not being in great health. He knew he would go to be with the Lord.
A few years back when he wasn’t feeling as bad. (at least I didn’t think so)
He told me that the Lord would be back in his lifetime
He felt it would be really soon.
I didn’t really know why he said that, I know he meant it
Now I’m thinking that what he knew in his spirit meant was that he would meet the Lord sooner anyway.
Just a guess. I remember that day clearly too
Just weird.
Good night
Hugs
Gary54
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Good Morning Gary54
It’s 9am in the UK and sunny outside. I have been busy the last day since we spoke my grandson has been around. He is such a joy and George deeply loved them both. I have 2 grandchildren only toddlers. When you speak about Gary it sounds very much like my George it is interesting how we are connecting from miles apart and out stories are similar that is the beauty of this site.
I haven’t cried a lot in the last few days however I do often feel this over whelming feeling it is as you described like a wave that comes over you.
How long has it been since your Gary died, George died in January and it seems so surreal cannot get my head around he fact that he is no longer here. Married for 33 years it is so difficult as you understand living a life without him.
I have a women’s daily devotional journal whereby I write down things in the journal, scripture verses, goals, prayers to be answered and what I would like to see happen the next day. It’s great I brought it from Amazon. Excellent for writing down your thoughts etc.
Are you on your own? or do you have company around it helps to have company eventually the children will leave (well mine are young adults) that’s what I fear growing old alone…not nice.
Anyway you have a lovely weekend. Be blessed when you fellowship at church God is our strength right now.
Juneie
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Morning Juneie
I awoke close to about 5.40a. So 10.40 uk time.
As I become more used to the fact that Gary is with the Lord. Absent from the body is to be present with the Lord…
It seems like it might be possible for me to get some more needed sleep as I have been struggling.
Gary passed on November21, 2020
Yes I have my married son with me and 2 grandkids.
I have been at their house since the traumatic day.
Right now I have no plans to leave.
I have been trying to see if it would be better to stay here or to go back home.
I dread being alone, maybe it will pass but I am not sure about that.
It seems that I would overlook my privacy
So I don’t have to be alone.
My life with Gary was very quiet no outings or things to be looking forward to.towards the end. My life was happy but tinged with sadness because he didn’t want to do anything, though he never stopped me. But it’s not the same enjoying with your spouse
He was working and was in a routine it seldom/never changed. I used to think is this all its to be. I knew it was not. But I tolerated it because I loved him and wanted to be helpful. I cooked every night but Saturday.
He made wings, even that was a routine.
Now I don’t eat wings and I don’t make his favorite dishes. My kids don’t like most of what I eat. So they cook.
I have my own room. It’s slightly smaller than my old room.
I do feel happier.
The only thing that bothers me is my son is a germaphobe. So I have to be really careful so as not to upset him.
He can get really mad at me. But it’s good now I have learned.
They have a dog which I enjoy too.He is a German shepherd. He is sweet.
The 2 grandkids are nice to be around. One is autistic and the other is fine.
That’s it in a nutshell
Hugs
Gary54
Good Morning Gary54
Hope you have had a lovely weekend. I find myself crying less and less I think my body is getting used to the fact that George is with the Lord and I know he knew he knew he would be.
It is great to be living with family as you are not alone especially losing your husband in November. Like me you spent the pandemic locked down with your husband at least they spent more time with us. Your Gary passed on our wedding anniversary little did I know that this would be our last anniversary.
George did not like going out a lot but never stopped me and I went many places on my own with friends or family especially as the years went on. When we were first married we travelled everywhere taking the children to a Christian event called Spring Harvest it was beautiful full activities for the children and space for parents to hear the word it was lovely.
Being alone for me is what I dread mine are all a home at the minute and the youngest is 18 so a few more years yet but I bet she becomes famous and travels off to your part of the world…who knows.
My son said that I should get a dog it would make me go for walks. I have been signed off on bereavement leave until the 6th June so just after my birthday which is on the 2ns June. Celebrating my 60th without George is not going to be pleasant at all we had planned to do something big and wonderful for it that will not happen now. May do something low key with my daughter.
How similar our lives have been that’s amazing.
Have a wonderful week. God Bless You
Great big Hug
Juneie
Hi Juneie
It seems like your week end was welcomed to be in better sorts and realization of the comfort that your George is safely with Jesus.
Our wedding anniversary was on the 23rd Nov.
Right after Gary’s passing on the 21st. ; I endured our anniversary. My kids were here all with me thankfully. My daughter drove down to be with me for a couple of days from Tallahassee. She had just had a new baby Lila Raine. She is beautiful
We would have been together 35 years less 2 days.
I found the card he bought me.
It was bitter sweet. It said.
It was always You. I have it in my drawer. It wasn’t written in yet…🥲
We did do quite a lot when the kids were younger and enjoyed our times. Epcot, Disney, the Appalachian trail. Going fishing on our boat going to Bimini in the Bahamas. So many things we did with them.
But that quickly diminished as time went on and our kids grew up.
Our. Last together experience full of feeling is when our boys enlisted. One in the navy and few years later, our youngest in the coast guard. He still is with them.
Seeing my oldest Joshua leave was devastating for us.I never tried to stop him because he wanted to do this.
He is free of that thankfully after many years.
He was not around for the birth of either of his kids which was very sad for him.
My moms birthday is june2nd.
She will be 90.
She is in a home in Santa Cruz, Trinidad.
Did you say that you visited Trinidad or not.
I cannot remember.
It is almost 7 am here in Florida.
I have not even arisen from my bed as I write you.
I am trying to take it easier as I have been a lil on edge with everything going on. Trying to be more relaxed.
I hope we talk soon.
I am sure we will find more amazing similarities about our lives.
How amazingOur God is and how much He knows that lies in wait for us that will be amazing.
In Christ our cornerstone.
Hugs
Gary54.
Hi Gary54
It is wonderful to share with a true woman of God such as yourself our husbands have brought us togeher for had they not died our paths would not have crossed. You are right things are so similar between us. My birthday same as your mother’s birthday. My daughter is back from filming in Ireland and it is nice to have her home. She resumed to college today and I took her a role that would have been done by George he took Miriam everywhere. Now I stepped up to the challenge to carry out the tasks that George would have done. I am shattered all that driving it took one hour to take her and one to come back x2 that 4 hours on the road. How George did that it is so tiring to do all he managed to do on top of being unwell is a miracle. God gave him the strength to do all he needed to do.
You know what has occurred to me is that we met strong and powerful men and the best thing of all is that they were believers. Our home is not on this earth and they are enjoying being at home with the lord.
You live in Florida it must be beautiful would love to visit Florida one day.
Anyway I will sign off now until next time.
Speak soon
Juneie
Hi Juneie
You are right our guys were strong and powerful.
And Gary continued to work and worked up to the day he passed. He was afraid to retire because he said that’s when men die
He did most of everything, he wouldn’t let me help either
And he did it well. How I don’t know but with the grace of God he was able.
He came back to the Lord after he had slipped away
One of his older brothers recalled the event when he accepted the Lord. It was in the ‘70’s. During his send off
He was strong in the Lord and when we met in 1983 he still was. He always believed. One thing he told me was that God had a sense of humor. Yes He does.
However ,he still believed but wasn’t so into the Lord.
Some years before he passed he returned to the Lord and occasionally he would mention something which would make me so happy that the Lord was so faithful and brought him back for Himself.
It all started with his honorary self not having patience to wait for the draw bridge on the way to his work. Instead of getting upset he turned to the Word of God.
How God even used his honorary ways is just lovely.
Our faithful God.
Just wanted to share.
You are right that we are only here for a while
Gary knew he would be with the Lord
Yes Florida is pretty, but not as pretty as Trinidad.
I have adapted.
Take care
Hugs
Sisters in Christ.
Gary54
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With best wishes,
Eleanor