I don’t know how we are meant to move on as normal . I’m very angry too. At the start, I was so angry. That he was taken so young 54, that he was such a good person , and died, yet horrible wicked people are allowed to live . I even got angry at older people for being alive . Not their fault I know . I know how hard every day tasks are. Going to our local shop, upset me as I too remembered us going together. Waking every day and thinking he’s beside me . Is devastating . Then it’s just the quiet . My husband was so boisterous, funny , hyper. He was loud and noisy . Which I used to moan about . Now I would give anything to hear him banging the doors on the way out . Sending you love 
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8 weeks into this nightmare.
I’m Putting on a face to the outside world and trying to get on with life as I’m sure my adorable husband would have wanted. But my life feels so pointless with no purpose. He was my life my purpose my everything. Behind closed doors I sit staring at the tv not really watching it just numb
Friends keep in contact but none truly know the pain of this grief and I hope they never have to. Even when with them I feel so lonely.
I know I’m still early in this grief journey and reading other post on here makes me realise I’m sadly not alone. So wishing you all love and try and remember the good times.
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It is so so hard i lost kev 31st july 2024 he was 68 we had been together 40 beautiful years..don’t know what to say really the pain that horrible pain that takes your breath away and the tears definitely slow down they don’t go away but the loniness is just always there cant believe in million years its been 28 months 
but we get up every day and try to carry on the best we can I am just so grateful I shared my life with such a beautiful man that had me on the biggest pedestal take care everyone 
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Yea I am with you on this like feels so pointless with no purpose. No one truly understands the pain of this grief we are going through I cry or feel like crying most days trying to understand why she is dead I am scared of the future and dying without her but I suppose someone has to go first would good if we died together but thats not possible in most cases.
I thought we where going to grow old together to me she was to young to die.
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I understand
Declan was getting stronger for the first time I had hope
Tom - your reply feels like you’re reading my thoughts. I feel selfish for thinking of myself - how do I carry on alone 
How do I live life without him? I too wish I could have died with him and a large part of me did. Having no family I worry what will happen when my time comes. I still cry most days but not that hysterical crying from the beginning of this journey. The most unexpected things start them streaming down my face
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Yea I feel selfish too everything I do just seem so strange without her with me and how do I go on without her. I just hate everyday now waking up to this not that I get any proper sleep I have not slept well since she went into hospital. I have family but it’s just not the same as your love of your life to talk too, have dinner with, go to bed with, wake in the morning her beside me her warmth and cuddles how does anyone cope without this in there life.
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I wish I could answer the question Of how to cope without them in our lives. Today has been a bad day woke up and just wanted to turn over and have that gentle cuddle and kiss good morning but just emptiness that started the tears flowing.
How we miss the simple things we took for granted.
Hope you manage to get some sleep it’s so elusive and doesn’t help us being exhausted whilst grieving🥱
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Sometimes I wish I had gone first. Maybe he could have handled it better? He was easy going and took it a day at a time. But, his health was declining and I could never have been ok leaving him alone like that.
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Almost 9 weeks since I lost my love.
I’ve been plodding along but have just hit rock bottom. I don’t know how life goes on without him. Lying here sobbing remembering the fantastic man I’ve lost and wishing I could be with him. Don’t worry not going to do anything stupid!!
Life has to go on but I really don’t know how. I find writing down my feelings brings me some relief so thanks for reading.
Here’s hoping tomorrow a better day 
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I am so sorry you are struggling.
Would it help to chat about it?
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So sorry for your loss, on this site we can all relate to how you are feeling having been where you are and many still are. It’s very early days for you, if you are just about functioning then you are doing well. At this stage the best advice is to take every day as it comes and just focus on what you are able to do. Don’t put yourself under any pressure, you cannot rush through grief, the shock/trauma it has to be fully absorbed and processed. It all takes time, one step forward, 2 back but eventually you will be taking less steps back. I am almost 3 yrs on and at 6 mths I like most of us, was a mess but I promise you it does get easier over time but you have to be kind and patient with yourself. I found journalling the best way of releasing my thoughts/feelings and small daily walks to get fresh air and some exercise. Hold on tight and release all you have to as it’s therapeutic. Take care
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You think you have hit rock bottom and then something else happens!!!
My husbands darling cat who helped me through my initial grief by cuddling me everyday suddenly fell ill and was diagnosed with cruel cancer hopefully my darling husband and his fur baby are both enjoying cuddles together now.
But that leaves me starting another grief journey as our fur babies were our children.
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Wow so sorry its just never ends does it
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How is everyone doing???
I’m finding this time of year very difficult. I don’t have any close family my husband was all I needed. I read a news article today where a widower described how his wife was his safety blanket which had now gone. I felt that was such a wonderful description. My husband was my safety blanket he wrapped me in love,comfort,support and so much more he gave me confidence to do things - he made my life complete.
Christmas is the first big event since losing him and it’s brought back the tears. The loneliness is unbearable. I cling to my memories and hope that everyone can find some joy this Xmas season I’m still looking for mine.
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Lovely words…safety blanket is such a good description of our loved one’s. Like you, I have no family left but I do now have a network of wonderful supportive friends but it takes strength, courage, hope and resilience to build new beginnings/friendships/and future. My husband was my best friend and I never needed anyone else. I remember my 1st Xmas without him, all alone in the world and words cannot describe the pain, devastation and loneliness….however, fast forward to my 3rd Xmas and I have now found peace, joy and happiness, a promising start of a new relationship and the joy of Xmas has returned….it will never be the same but it is a different joy, a new me, a new life and a new future, one I never dreamed possible, so I use myself as an example, that all this is possible again, climbing out of the darkness into the light again. A renewed me, a different version but always retaining the one my husband fell in love with. She is tucked away somewhere with him “in a place only we know” (we loved that song)….so my Xmas wish for everyone is to find peace, find their joy again and most importantly stay open to giving and receiving love again. Xmas is a time for reflection and to also acknowledge all the challenges we have overcome and to be proud of ourselves for surviving the storm we have/are all weathering….
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