I totally get how you feel I to lost my partner 3 months ago to cancer I feel alone all the time even with lots of people around they still can’t make the pain go away or the extreme want for her back with me again
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It’s just horrific.
Everyday we must put one foot in front of the other to exist.
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How are you doing today?
Hi Cat
It’s difficult especially with this horrible weather. I haven’t seen or heard from anyone for days. I was so happy and content when it was just the two of us he was my comfort blanket wrapping me in love and contentment. As you say must just keep taking one day at a time. Cancer is a cruel illness. It will be 15 weeks tomorrow since he left me. I wake and the first thing I think of is missing him and that continues through the day.
I’ve have been very lucky and have had counselling through hospice and talking helps plus Dr prescribed short term course of tablets to help me sleep. The sleep deprivation I was suffering did not help with the grief. I would recommend counselling if you are offered the option.
Thinking of you all 
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Hi
I did but it didn’t help.
I am so sorry for your loss
I am here if you need to chat.
Take care
Evening
How are you all doing? I was so hoping after the festive season that life could start to become a new norm but the pain and grief is still there:sleepy_face: I keep going through the day but evenings I just want that comfortable chit chat with my husband. I keep going to say something and nobodies there
I can go for days not seeing anyone - friends lives move on and they think mine should too. They say join clubs etc to meet people but it’s not that easy I tried but you can still feel lonely in a group of strangers.
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How are you doing today?
Did you manage to sleep
I feel the same, 4 months now since my partner of forty years died suddenly. I was at a birthday meal for my niece on Saturday. The restaurant and food was good but I just couldn’t join in the conversation for long. My thoughts kept wandering to my deceased partner and how much I missed him. It wasn’t even a place we used to go. It was full of couples laughing and enjoying themselves. It was really hard keeping the tears at bay.
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That sounds so familiar!! I was determined that come the new year I would start saying yes to invites which is not as easy as it sounds.
I to went for a meal last week with friends and there was talk about how wonderful Xmas and new year was all I could think about was how lonely I was without my husband as I had spent the festive period on my own. I too had to hold back my tears. Afterwards my friends asked why I was so quiet I felt I couldn’t tell them the truth as I didn’t want to make them feel guilty for their happiness.
This grief journey is a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. But I recently read that grief and love are intertwined. Without having that deep glorious love with our partners we wouldn’t feel the grief that we all suffer now. I would not have missed one day of our 41 years together he was my lover, friend, soulmate my safety blanket wrapping me in love daily.
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Sending you a big hug
Yes, I too feel lost and vulnerable. I’m almost 4 months into this nightmare of losing my partner suddenly, and can feel myself sinking even lower. My partner’s estate is in probate sending my anxiety levels through the roof. My emotions fluctuate between anger and despondency. Family and friends just don’t understand plus you can’t expect them to put their lives on hold either. I know that other people on here have experienced great loss too but I can see no end to this.
I also lost my husband suddenly 4 months ago . My husband estate is also going through probate. So I know the stress that causes.Also family and friends get back to there own lives
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Sherbet10, I hope you are ok?My wifes estate is going through probate too,it really is a stressful time.you are so right about family and friends getting back to their own lives.Take care.
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I have got a solicitor involved with the probate. I have to do a lot of it ourselves, I am lucky my son and daughter in law are very supportive.And have helped me a lot . My husband had his own business, so it’s a bit more complicated sorting that out .
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I am glad your son and daughter in law are supportive for you.It really does help to know someone can help us.There are so many worries and responsibilties now.
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It’s hard enough coping with the grief, the probate just adds another layer to it
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The grief feels just so relenting at times.I went to work today, thought i was having a not too bad type of day, came home and burst into tears, back to the sad, empty, silent house again, it sums up my so called “life” now.Take care.
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I don’t have work as a distraction, as I am retired . My day hasn’t been to bad I have been swimming. It always makes me feel better. And my dogs are good company, I hope you’re feeling a bit better tonight. I know what you mean by the loneliness though. Take care
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Work has helped me a bit from the human interaction point of view.I put on my “mask” as inside my heart is broken and i am torn apart but i put on a brave face for when i am out.No one truly understands unless they have been through and/or going through what we are.My emloyer has been very supportive, they are only a family run business.It is really hard this grief journey we are on.i have calmed down a bit now as when i first got home this evening i just burst into tears, i do tht each time i come back to the empty house, bedtime is so hard too, i usually cry myself to sleep.I am pleased to hear your day hasnt been too bad.Swimming is a good idea it can have a positive effect on us.Your dogs sound a comfort for you too, it all helps us with trying to manage our grief and in some way give us some comfort on this horrible journey we are on.Its the loneliness i find so hard.I have never been alone in my life before.I used to live with my parents before i married my dear wife.It really is a rollercoaster ride we are on with so many ups and downs, twists and turns.Take care.
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The loneliness is appalling and it’s so difficult to find things to fill the void in my life. I have been stuck in the house now for 5 days without any human contact. I must go out tomorrow.
Take care everyone communicating on this site gives us all some reassurance xx
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