So alone

Is there anyone feeling the same as me at the moment. I know it may sound stupid, but i honestly am dreading this year ending as it was the last year i was with my darling Husband before he left me late september. I dont want a new year, i want to keep this one. Please dont think im so e crazy person, but i just want to hold onto it. Theres nothing happy about a new year, i just want the old one to stay with me. Im finding it all so difficult.

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Hi, I know exactly how you feel. I lost my husband in May. I don’t really want to move into the new year as I feel I’m leaving him behind in the old one. It’s really hard but we need to move forward some how. I know he’d want me to be happy as your husband would want the same for you. One day at a time and be kind to yourself xx

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I know what you mean. It’s a year that he will not have lived in. I have thought about that a lot recently. My husband died in February this year.X

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Alyson, I understand. I lost my beloved husband after 52 yrs of marriage in Aug. We will all get thru the New Year together. You are not leaving him in the year we are moving on from. He will always be with you no matter where we are or what year it is. The pain and agony of losing my husband is at times more than I can bear. I know what they want for us, but I also understand at times we wonder if we will ever get there. We are forever changed. I wish you peace, I seek that for myself too.
Karen

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I feel the same Alyson . Paul suddenly died on 13th December . I am utterly heartbroken and i dont want a New Year. I too want to stay in 2022. So difficult isnt it.

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Thank you all so much for making me feel that my thoughts arent stupid . Its just so difficult, and yes, i feel as though im leaving him behind in some other time, and its breaking my heart. We on here, are not alone, we can say how we feel without being told “pull yourself together” well i cant do that at the minute. And Susan, such a recent loss my sweet. So sorry for you, so sorry for all of us xx

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As the other Karen said, our loved ones will always be a part of us so we can’t leave them. I know Richard changed who I was in so many ways while he was with me so he will live on in who I am, as well as the influence he had on others. He will never not be a part of who I am. :heart:

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I understand fully what you mean. I feel exactly the same way. I don’t want to leave my H behind in another year. Xx

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I feel the same. My husband died in September and knowing today is the start of another year entirely makes his loss even more devastating.

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It really does. X

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@Alyson.r, your words resonate with how I’m feeling right now, doesn’t sound stupid at all. Actually you have described it perfectly. I agree with everyone here, it’s as if we’re leaving our soulmates behind. It’s the third year I’m going through this, I sometimes just wish time could stop, I hate the fact that a new year has arrived, so it will add another number when people ask or talk about how long it’s been. Well, I’ve come to the conclusion that the next person who asks me that question or mentions any sort of time-line, I will just answer that there is no time when you’re grieving your life partner, it will always feel as if it’s just happened.
I manage to struggle through this time passing by, by just thinking that I’m taking my husband with me, so no matter how many weeks, months, years, we won’t be leaving them behind, they will always be a part of us. Time cannot break or mutate
that special bond, connection we have with them. We are who we are now because we spent our lives together. It will continue to be this way, as if they were still here. We will still talk to them, ask for advice, suggestions, like we have always done, and making decisions imagining what our soulmates would have wished for.

A peaceful New Year’s Day to everyone.

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Oh absolutely. My son gave me a strern talking too last night. And made me realise that although i am absolutely broken inside, i have to try to now do things for myself, but also my husband. To carry him with me in everything i do, as we did everything together.
I will honestly try, and when im on my own at home, thats my time to do my crying. I miss him so so much. He was my life, my soulmate, my everything. Xx

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@Solost yes I can relate to what you have written. Time sometimes seems to have gone so slow but on the other hand so fast since my husband died in February. So time frames mean nothing actually. @Alyson.r I’ve had the talk from my children a while ago. I do things around the house and in the garden that I can manage myself but the thought of going out to venues and places like that on my own still seems too daunting and alien to me. I just hope we can all have peace, serenity and calmness in the coming months and years.X

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I too had the talk but this comes from family and friends that do not have a clue what we are going through. We will never get over losing them but our lives will slowly grow around our loss. It has been twenty months for me. Some days are good but some days it is like yesterday and cuts just as deep. Some days I have it all covered and others well …… I pray that we all find some kind of peace as we try to move forward picking up the pieces of our lives. X

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So agree wiith you I thought I was doing ok Joining groups going out and managed New Years eve on my own but today I thought I would catch up on xmas programmes I’d missed put call the midwife on and the tears came out of nowhere and I had to get out of the house for a few minutes to calm myself down. Then I remembered it was one of Chris’s favorite programmes and it hit home he wasn’r here to watch it with me. Now I’m not sure I can wstch it tonight . I believe we learn to walk alongside our grief it never leaves completlely it just changes as time goes by.

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So here we are 2023. It will be 5 mos on Jan 5 that I lost my precious husband. He had Alzheimer’s, so I lost him twice, mentally, intellectually then finally physically at our last goodbye after 52 yrs of marriage. It was months of unbelievable agony, pain and suffering. Going thru it is to understand it. I am finding that some friends and family grow tired of my sadness. I keep hearing stay strong. Really, that is the answer!! We had no children and don’t live near family. I know what he would want for me, seems impossible. But I do know he is always with me. I believe when 2 souls are intertwined in love they can’t be separated. I talk to him, ask his advice and of course tell him I love him. So as we enter the new year, our beloved one are beside us, forever. Love and peace to everyone.
(Grateful for this community). Karen

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Karetired
I do love what you say about 2 souls intertwined in love, I do feel my darling husband is with me. It’s just over the two years since I lost him and I feel blessed by his presence with me at long last. It’s been two awful years but I hope I have acceptance at last. Big hugs to you.

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Hello Alyson.r
I am sorry for your loss and send much love. I feel the same way I didn’t want the new year to start as I feel like I’m leaving my mom behind. So that must make us all crazy. But yes it is so difficult there is no quick fix. I just want to feel somethink orher than pain and sadness. You are not on your own xxx

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Yes I’ve felt like it’s a New Year & a New start of a life I don’t want without my partner (which I lost in November) I’m totally devastated & really feel I can’t cope with a future on my own, I’m starting to have panic attacks although I’m on medication so really wish I could have been the one that went not her.
Thoughts are with you :heart::heart:

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Hello Emz
Sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. You are not alone. Sending you much love :heart: xxx

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