It’s seems like ages since I’ve posted on here. It will be a year this Saturday since Ian passed away after only a seven week battle against cancer. We were together for over forty years.
I just can’t believe I’ve been without him for a year now as it still seems like yesterday. The house is still not dusted, the garden is overgrown and ‘friends’ have come and gone.
It’s so hard listening to people’s plans for the future when I don’t have one. I know they have to get on with their lives but it still feels like rubbing salt in the wound, especially now.
I certainly haven’t learnt to accept Ian’s passing with time and my pain, grief and bewilderment hasn’t changed .
I just want to curl up and sleep. I can’t but I don’t think people around me understand how hard it is just to get through each day let alone face a future of these endless days.
How I wish everything was different and Ian was still with me.