I personally do not think having family help. Their lives go on and they are always busy whether with working or going away to adventure places for the children or children’s activities you cannot be part of. In my case I am also disabled but you do not get the encouragement to even cheer you up by way of phone calls and dropping in just to see how you are. My son is about to fly off to Australia for a year and he may aps me occasionally. Grandchildren have so much in their lives these days. No time for me and I cannot support them as much as I would like because i cannot get out. My carer is my regular visitor and she shows care and love I do not get from family. Even hospital appointments . I love everyone of them and grateful to have them . Perhaps I expect too much. I have to get through this on my own with the Lord’s help. Put my reliance on Him. God bless you in your circumstances too.
Hi just been reading your post like we do I agree with Janet I was blessed with two children grown up leading there own lives they are busy and they have had to deal with pain if losing their dad too early but they have their lives ahead of them
I don’t think the pain is any less at all we are alone having to live this new life with out our love one they was the only ones who lived and new us was always there for us now they have been taken
Sk for me Jessica the pain is horrific my family say it’s what we got si basically get in with it I’m finding it harder as the time has gone on when we have children may we expect too much from them I try not too let them think I’m ok when I am fat from ok all you know what I mean I hope we will be in less pain on day I don’t want to get much older now I’m alone
Hard when you have to have surgery you must feel very alone
Not sure this has helped but we are all in so much pain
Hope we will manage to see a bit light soon all take care xxx
Yes,. having children can be a mixed blessing. Our grandchildren are still young so I’m needed for nursery & school pickups.
We raise them to be independent & fly the nest but we still want & need them around.
Especially at times like this, when company would be appreciated.
Take care in your recovery.
G. X
Hi yes my kids are good and help me to cope without hubby . BUT I feel like they need to get on with there own lives . I had a wonderful life with there dad . Hopefully they might have such a wonderful life . I don’t want to become a burden on them and to stop them from finding there own peace and life .i miss and love my hubby more and more each day .xtake carex
Hi Broken, I feel the same way about my two grownup children living with me. I try not to let them see me crying, getting emotional, I don’t want to upset them. Sometimes I just suddenly break down while we’re in the middle of conversation, mentioning their dad, I end up just leaving the room to go and sob somewhere on my own. I am devastated for my loss but I also feel so sorry and heartbroken for them that they’ve suddenly lost their dad prematurely, too soon. I put myself in their shoes and imagine how shocking it would have been for me if I’d suffered a similar loss at their age. Thankfully they have their own lives to think about, my son is working, my daughter is about to graduate from university and of course their friends to spend their free time with.
They do give me strength to carry on, they give me a reason to get up in the morning, but their is a huge void in our lives, my hubby was so full of life, bringing joy and laughter in our home, joking, arranging special family holidays, reassuring us in difficult situations, surprises, special meals, solving problems, he always had a solution, no matter what the dilemma was. . He was our rock, our protective shield, our everything, really.
Hi it is so hard and so wrong this life we have now . My hubby was also the strength of our family . He was the one we all went to with any problems and he always knew how to make us feel better. I was 23 when my mam died . She was 59 like us . My dad used to just come to our house all the time . And then when I had kids he did try and help me with them . I never realised how lonely he must of felt . But we did share our lives with him . What I will never regret . He came to live with us when he was in his 70s and his health was failing . He died when he was 82 . And had all those long lonely years without my mam . I am so scared that history will repeat itself . And don’t want my kids to have to give up part of there lives to look after me and worry about me. Like I said I will never regret looking after my dad . And hubby was absolutely brilliant . With helping and keeping us all happy . Like you the tears just start. I am sobbing typing this . But I’m sitting in my bedroom . The place I come to all the time . When I get upset. I just wish I had more years with hubby . We were so happy. Thinking of you xtake carex
So sorry to hear you lost your mum so young.it really must have been hard for you and your dad. Thankfully I still have both my parents, in their 80s. They just can’t understand what I’m going through,though, how can they? In fact, I don’t talk to anyone except for my husband’s aunt who phones me regularly for a chat, she relates to me because she lost her husband twenty yrs ago and I really feel I can ‘connect’ with her, she knows how I’m suffering and doesn’t just say “life goes on” or “you have to be strong”. I find that I can only find comfort talking to anyone who has a strong connection with my husband, for example my father in law, I feel closer to him now than I am to my own mum and dad. Of course, my children are the most precious to me, they are the product of our love.
They are part of him.
Wishing you goodnight.
Take care.
.
Hi thank you for your kind words. I understand how you feel . I am lucky and blessed to also have grandkids. They are also part of my hubby. They miss there grandad so much . The youngest is only two . It is so sad that he won’t remember his grandad .but we will let him know how much he loved him . Goodnight hope you sleep xtake carex
When my dad passed , he had been ill so it was expected. Mum just wanted to be with him - she basically didnt know what to do, she wanted to stay in bed all the time.
I can remember saying " oh come on mum"
& i would get a bit exasperated with her.
.
I didn’t fully understand how she had felt until my hubby suddenly passed —
If only I could turn the clock back.
G. X
Hi I really don’t think you realise how hard it is till you lose your partner . The one person you have that special bond with . That is always there for you no matter what . I didn’t realise how awful it must of been for my dad . It is so sad that this is what life is about . Your born you live and love and then you are left devastated . And just trying to find a way of getting through each day . Xtake carex
Morning all that is so very true Broken yesterday I told myself I was going to be positive and manage this new life better today come tumbling black down it really is the hardest thing I have ever imagined and painful lossing the one we have lived and spent all our adult life with is just awful I hope some of you can spend the day with family or friends to help you the loneliness with out the only one we want is so hard have to give it another try
Take care all xxx
Hi . Yes I keep trying to be positive but that is so hard . But we must keep trying and maybe one day . The hurt might be a little less . And we might even find a life worth living . That’s me being positive . I will probably be in floods of tears within the hour . But that’s how it is now . Hope you have a ok day . Xtake carex
Yes that is all we can do try try some more I’m sure my husband would be making better job of this he was always positive when I am around the family I manage to put on good act I feel I must otherwise they will not want to spend time with me
Hope your day will be ok and find some thing to make you laugh
Take care xx
I posted recently that I had a meltdown while speaking to our son over something (which niggled at the time)
& It just set me off.
Surprised both of us , but I’m glad it happened - sometimes they just need to know a little understanding & support goes a long way 
The niggle still niggles me but im learning to “let it go”. I can’t change what set me off.
G. X
Hi rose . Another weekend nearly over . I have been busy this weekend so it has gone fairly quick . Was babysitting grandsons . Then I took the oldest one to cinema to see elvis film . He loves elvis . He’s only nine . And wasn’t sure if he would get in .but he did . It was a long film . I kept falling asleep and he kept nudging me . Also a bit emotional . When me and hubby were courting ( that’s an old word ) we use to listen to a lot of elvis records . Hubby was a fan . I thought he was ok . So some of his songs really hit me hard . Luckily it was dark in pictures so no one could see the tears . But the film itself was good and grandson enjoyed it . Hope you have found something to keep busy with and maybe stop the loneliness for a couple of hours . Back to work tomorrow . But only got a couple of weeks and then I’m of for seven weeks . But I will find it hard this year without hubby . Hope you sleep well xtake carex
Hi Broken
Well I’m glad you had some nice moments some how we manage to find the strength for the grandson glad you spent time with him makes life worth living it must have been hard in the cinema when it brings a lot of pain hearing songs that you and your hubby listened to all very hard well done
I guess you work in a school if you have all that holiday hope you will manage to find nice things to do your grandson will give you strength
I spent morning alone today did some gardening all hard keeping it up as you know too well
This afternoon my daughter came round and we went for a walk with her dog was jibe to have the company I have been trying hard to be positive bu I cave in after a while
I have not seen my son this weekend spoke to my grandson though it helps
What can we do but try our pain will always be with us I miss him more each day so sudden and fat too early like you we have lots of memories don’t we Inever thought I would be going through this life yetidid we
Another week begins guess we have to give it our best shot for sake children
Thank you for your message I hope you manage to sleep more
Thinking of you xx
Trixie
I lost my lovely wife to covid last September so know how you feel .
I often just cry out " I want you back !!!"
But know I will never see her smile ever again and it destroys me inside .
All you can do is keep busy …just think what he would say to you right now .xxxx
Jessica…that feeling of pain ,you are having is so awful… sending you love and strength , …iv had 2 terrible days after having a couple of weeks of feeling better…I still cry at some point every day …but yesterday and today have been bad …I feel so alone …without him …hoping to have a better day tomorrow…take care everyone