I can’t stop crying I really don’t want to be here, hate waking up in a morning, it’s like I have lost everything even though I have people round me. I can’t bear to be with people who still have there partners.
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I really do feel your pain…when you wake up and within that split second you realise whats happened…it’s so damned unfair. Im six months in to losing my wonderful man and its hurts…every day…but can i suggest that you find yourself a good counsellor as it does help…honestly. I go every week to a lovely lady… i cry every week but we just talk about what ever comes into my head…good or bad…take care of yourself
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I’m also very tearful when I wake in the night - I read quite a lot now- something I couldn’t do a few weeks ago,. I read in the night if I can .
I continually talk to John .
Like you, I don’t want to be here and I prefer to be alone although I have a few friends ( no family)
I just want it to go back to how it used to be and just can’t believe I’ll never see him again.
I do get comfort to know I’m not alone although I wish no one else had to feel this pain either.
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It is 7 months since my husband passed away. I still have the odd night when I cry and sometimes during the day I burst into tears for no reason. I still talk to my husband. I know I won’t get an answer, but I just let him know what I have been doing with my day. I have two children. One lives in NZ and the other close by. Neither of them want another to do with me, so I have accepted that is there choice. I have very few friends and I do worry what will happen to me when I pass away. Will anyone notice. I am slowly moving on with life and now do things for me rather than what my husband would have wanted me to do. I do have problems as I suffered from agoraphobia before my husband passed. It was a big struggle for me to walk out the door when he was in hospital and I still have days when I can’t go out. I have to get up, have a shower and go out the door before I talk myself out of it. I have booked a day trip on a coach and a friend has offered to come with me, but I feel that this is something I need to do on my own to proof I can do it. It is great comfort to know I am not in alone in how I feel. Losing a partner is not the same grief you feel when losing a parent.
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You’re in a very similar position as I am… but you’re very strong and I’m sure that’s from your husband- they don’t want us to suffer like this.
I m still such early days and the pain is physical- you’re doing well and I admire your determination - I often pretend my husband is sitting beside me .
We’re all supporting each other and gaining comfort and strength.
Love and light
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I feel things will never get better it is unbearable
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Debbie, I totally feel the same but we have to face each day and do our best to get through it.
I just don’t want to be here- I want to be with John
I have no interest in anything and simply ‘function’ every day. It’s the hardest, most miserable thing ever. I’m getting counselling now because all I remember is him dying in my arms and need to get past that.
Please know you’re not alone and we’re all going through this heartbreak. Xx
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Debbie, haven’t seen a post from you for a while- did I miss it or are you just having a break from it?
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I have been having a bad time, really trying to be strong for my family and friends I love them all, but not my life.
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Know how you feel when you say ‘bad time’ they are the blackest hours and physically painful.
I think it’s natural for some of us to want to be alone - I know I do because no one understands how I feel. You have to go with your feelings and do what you want to do for yourself. Trying to please others is a massive stress.
None of us knows how we’ll manage to carry on but we will.
Our pain is unbearable and life changing but we will keep going.
Try not to be hard on yourself- goodness, we’ve got more than enough to cope with.
Love and light xx
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Hello I am sorry for you all . Our life’s will never be the same
as we have lost our men . Keeping busy is the only way I
can cope with this nightmare . I was very scared at first but that is fading . I hope it gets more bearable for us all
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@Jol I agree keeping busy is the best way to cope. I still have the fear of things breaking down/going wrong but the fear of being alone is improving slightly.
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Hi i completely understand how you feel, i lost my beautiful baby girl my wife last week, her funeral is the 27th of September, i feel like theres no point anymore, the through of living my life for another 40 years or so without her is unbearable, she was my best friend my soulmate we had such a deep love knew what the other was thinking or was going to say, thats how close we was, i walk around our home talking tp her hoping i will hear her voice replying telling me she loves me, its so hard so i really do understand your pain