Hi Joan
I look forward to that to be able to meet face to face and talk, laugh and cry together I’m sure will be therapeutic and like you say when things start to ease. As we have seen life is a mere flicker you blink and it’s over…our loved ones are no longer here and their memories live on through us.
Juneie
Hi Juneie
Looking forward to meeting up, and yes, no doubt there will be plenty of tears shed. I only have to think about it and I’m starting to cry again.
Take care.
Joan
That was lovely .I can concur with all of it.Thank you so much.
Ah Joan
I have just had my counselling session and I spend my time crying. Have you thought of counselling? It’s a good way to get out all that you are feeling with someone who is there to listen, not judge, not give you answers but support with where you are at.
We will have good days and not so good do not be hard on yourself Joan.
Juneie
Hi Junie
Did you feel better after the counselling?
I’ve not thought about it as my brother-in-law and a friend both didn’t think it helped them.
I had another bad day today. I went out shopping and the places I drove to just brought back memories, and the sad songs playing on the radio. Had to swith it off.
I still walk around not believing that he has really died. It’s horrible!
Hope you are having a better day.
Joan
Hi Joan
I cant put the car radio on now. I just howl my head óff.
Last weekend I was so excited to get out in the garden but when I looked around the tears came. I kept thinking Peter wont see this bush growing & gaze at the Spring flowers.
I cant go for a walk alone as all I see are couples. I just feel so empty.
Hi Joan
Counselling today was really good I guess it also depends on the counselling ethos. I have some things to work on and it did help me to put things in perspective as my husband did have underlying health challenges which I only found out about after his death. He kept these from me by way of wanting to protect me I guess and the children. This is also something that I have to come to terms with. Therefore, for me counselling and my church support is vital. I had a bad evening yesterday as when taking my son back to his flat I cried and cried on the way home. This is good to do in the car as no one else around.
Joan we all feel the same so alone and living life without our husbands.
I just wish I could make it so better for you and everyone on here.
Sue Ryder also offers 6 weeks of free counselling you may want to give it a go I guess you never know how you get on until you try.
Have a god evening Joan.
Juneie
Hi Barb26
I know exactly how you feel and it’s so horrible.
I always used to have our favourite CDs playing, but I just can’t listen to them anymore.
Will we ever be able to listen to our favourite songs again without crying? At the moment they are not happy memories because they hurt too much. Please God, one day they will be.
I’m starting to get out more for my lonely walks and a bit of exercise around the park. I feel better for a while, but then it’s coming home to an empty flat and I’m back to square one.
Lost, lonely and definitely empty like a lot of us on here, if not all.
Take care and stay strong.
Joan
Barb26
Something I read on Time Heals.
I don’t believe time heals everything. It helps, it does.
After a while you won’t cry about it all the time.
It won’t consume your every thought anymore,
You do get better, you’ll laugh and smile.
You’ll even have a lot of great days, but it’s still there.
You just learn to live with it.
This is how things are now, so you get used to it.
But, that doesn’t mean it ever goes away, it’s still deep in your soul.
Still makes you cry when you think about it too much.
Still stops you in your tracks when something reminds you of it.
You’ll have those moments where your heart hurts really bad.
I don’t think time heals everything. Sure it gets better.
But it’s a scar that never goes away.
A broken bone that still aches on rainy days.
Joan
Hi Sad2. Yes things WILL get better. I can’t explain when or how but you suddenly realise that the tears have dried up or that you can talk Bout your beloved without breaking down. I couldn’t look at photos or look at my Ron’s jewellery but now I can take it out and hold it without getting that awful feeling of a hole in my heart. I looked at holiday photos yesterday and I teared up but I was ok when I put them away. I can stay alone in my house now whereas I had to be out every minute when he first passed. I still think of him every morning and night but there ate times when I can concentrate on other things too. I know my life will never be the same again and at the moment I can’t think about holidays but very slowly I am getting a little stronger. You don’t really notice the improvement but it happens. It is a long long journey but believe me that the raw anguish does fade gradually and you will find time to laugh.xx
That is so how I feel. You couldn’t have stated it better. It was so beautiful but so true.
Thank you for posting this I will keep it and read it often
Thank you and a big hug to everyone who has had to experience this terrible heartache
Hi Angiejo1
Thank you for your kind words.
All I want to do is stop crying. Day and night the memories constantly flash through my mind, and I still can’t believe he wont be with me again. I miss him so much.
I still wait for the phone to ring wanting to hear his voice. Why did he have to die. I need him with me.
I know we are all hurting on here, but it just feels like it’s only me and I feel selfish because we are all suffering.
Jay x
Hi Angiejo1
Your message to Sad2 is comforting. I saw someone today as I came out of the bank and tried to avoid them but their eyes caught mine and she said she had heard about my husband’s death on social media and she was so sad and cried etc. I was able to stand and talk to her about him and speak of how he was challenged with his health (all without welling up) and it has only been 7 weeks since my husbands death.
Angiejo is right it does feel to me as though it is becoming easier. I still cry although not as much and as I learn to manage the finances etc (as my husband did it all before) I am gaining more confidence to manage all the affairs that I need to take care of.
I also feel stronger each day naturally it will always be with us and I end up going into my room and standing there thinking George I miss you so much and the loneliness is awful but I guess in time that will also ease as we learn go adapt to this new world of ours.
Think you are saying the same Makitagirl. We will all smile/laugh again we have to, for our loved ones would not want it any other way. I know my George would say “why you crying for me”. It is painful only we can understand that but we will look back one day and see how far we have come.
Juneie
Juneie
I’ll be so glad when the day comes and the tears will ease.
Every day is full of heartaches and sad memories and I can’t think beyond today.
Will we ever learn to adapt to the new world we have ahead of us?
Joan
Juneie
My Nick wouldn’t have wanted me to be sad and cry all the time. Married 52 years and can’t get use to living without him. We did everything together. I still cry almost everyday. It’s been 15 months. I know he probably keeps saying please don’t cry.
Miss him terribly.
I know they would want us to go on but it’s not easy
Lots of love and hugs
Thank you, beautiful words. Exactly all the feelings & emotions. So glad I am not alone in this Bereavement.
I know we all just want the tears and heartache to stop. Life will never be the same again.
Forever Missed.
I often sit and think about the years that have passed by,
And of the happiness and joy that was shared by you and I.
I think of all the laughter, the smiles and all the fun.
And before I even know it the tears have once again begun.
For although it brings me comfort to walk down memory lane.
It reminds me how, without you, life will never be the same.
Hi Makitagirl this is so natural you have been married for such a long time and that was your other half. How do you operate from that so difficult. It does get easier my children asked my mum last night about their granddad my father who died when my mum was 47 years she is now 80 yrs. She explained that she still thinks of him however it’s been all those years ago since he died she told my son she never forgets but it does get easier to live your life without crying, and thinking of the loss. So I guess it will certainly get easier. Of course right now we are all in pain. I’ve just looked at George’s picture in our bedroom and cried can’t believe it’s been 7 weeks without him. See if you can have a nice weekend.
Junie
This is such a beautiful poem Sad2 and so real to all of us.
Juneie
We just have to look forward to brighter days, fewer tears and for the heartache to ease.
Seems impossible at the moment, but hopefully with time things can get a bit better for us all.
Joan