Hi Joan
I agree wouldn’t it be lovely to all meet up as we connect and support each other so well on this community line…after the lock down of course…
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Thank you everyone I thought I was the only one who sobbed uncontrollably every day I worry family and friends are getting fed up with me being so sad.
I miss my Tim so much it is unbearable I am also empty and so lonely.
I can only take one day at a time the future frightens me he was my future, was my everything.
It brings me some comfort to know one day I will smile again.
Virtual hugs to everyone,
Julie
Hi Juneie
I believe that someon on here (on “just an idea” post) has suggested meeting up in different areas close to us all. Lots of people have said they like the idea, so it’s just a case of who can arrange it, when and where. Not sure what part of London it’s planned for. If I find out any more, I’ll let you know.
It would be so nice to meet up with people going through the same ordeal and open up to them instead of feeling guilty crying to your same old friends who must be getting fed up with it now. The telephone conversations get shorter.
Hope you’re having a good day. Again, mine is tearful. It’s 5 weeks tomorrow, and all I keep asking myself is why couldn’t the hospital have done someting to save him.
Take care.
Joan x
June is
I think some of our family and friends are fed up with me crying.
I am 5 weeks on Wednesday I also think why did they not suspect Sepsis and save him
I do not shake anymore but sob uncontrollably throughout the day.
I live in Oxford and would also love to me some of you as only you know how I feel inside.
Virtual hugs,
Julie
Hi Joan this sounds perfect. Please keep me updated. I am in Edgware North london an drive so I can get relatively anywhere but if there are groups of us maybe locally. I’m also happy to arrange as the weather gets nice we can do a socially distanced meet we all have one big thing in common as not everyone understands an people try their hardest to empathise. It’s the loneliness that’s killing every day on your own. I have alot of noise in my home with my older children music etc but not the same.
Joan your loss is around same time as mine I’m 7 weeks and it’s awful.
Yeah meeting up is great idea.
Juneie
Hi Julie my mum lives in Reading so I do know Oxford. I messaged Joan to see how we could plan meeting up maybe a monthly physical meet up?? Somewhere convenient to all. You are 5 weeks so early like myself. It’s hard when it’s unexpected like your husband. There are no words to compensate Julie only to share an listen to each other. There is a group called Meet Up Bereavement Support if you Google anyone can join and it’s on zoom tomorrow morning. If interested you can Google and meet with others via zoom. I find it very good. It’s for those with any loss not just partners/husbands.
In terms of your case Julie you can also ask for access to medical records i got my husbands George.
Juneie
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It would be nice, and something to look forward to.
Sorry just realised I miss spelt your name predictive texts,
Julie
Thank you all for your helpful words.
I hope the day will come when I can speak about him, look at his photo & go to places we went together without sobbing.
I know I will never get over losing him but just to stop feeling so helpless & lonely would be lovely.
Love to you all
Barbara xxxx
From what I can see, after lockdown a London meet up has been suggested for those that live in or around London, and there has also been a Northern meet suggested near Manchester/Wigan. I have noticed that there are people on this group from other areas of the UK and overseas.
Hopefully some from other areas will be able to meet too. People were putting on where they lived, and admin were worried that they may be giving too much information out. Unfortunately,even on these type of sites, there will be unscrupulous people that join to get information or make contact with the vulnerable. Let’s face it we have enough to cope with at the moment without being approached by someone trying to take advantage. Please be careful what you put on here and also with private messaging anyone. Maybe instead of saying what town you live in make it vaguer like south west, Midlands, north east etc. Also people are giving out their real names. It is easy for a scammer to look at your name and where you live and find out more. If you keep to your user name rather than your real name it will help keep you safer. Not trying to frighten people, but trying to keep you safer. Do not be afraid to post, God knows we need to read about each others experiences, but read through what you have written before sending it to check the information is not likely to land you in hot water. Love to all. X
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Thank you for your valued advice.
Jay
Thanks Wing for that advice. Goodness I never think of such devious people coming onto this site but I guess they are everywhere. If a London meet up is planned that would really suit me. If you can provide details as to when/who is planning this would be helpful. I guess we are all so keen to talk to someone who is like minded this is my reason for being on this site. I am still so shocked that my husband is no longer how do you come to terms with your friend, lover, support no longer being there for me talking to these lovely compassionate ladies helps me to see i am not alone.
Juneie
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Perfect words Joan, lost, lonely and empty.
I look in the mirror and it’s my face but it’s not me, before it was Geoff and Jacky now its just me. I was the person I was because of him and now she’s gone.
I tried to explain to a friend, but I think we only understand if we are going through this.
Lots of love. Xxxxx
As @sad2 says further up there is a thread on this site called “just an idea.” someone named @Kazzer on there first suggested physical meet ups. Another person called @Lauramaymac said about a venue.
I could do London once we can travel again. There were quite a few of us where London was okay as a meeting place
I think the North West people have started their own thread.
Nothing concrete has been sorted yet as nobody knows when it can happen. Let’s hope this covid vaccination programme helps, so we can at least meet people and go places again. My safe place is home at the moment, but I do realise that living like a hermit is probably not healthy for me. I even try and avoid the neighbours at the moment so I don’t have to have a conversation with them. My neighbours are lovely, but I cannot cope with the pity in their eyes.
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Hi Jacko25
Yes, our lives are lonely and empty now. I never thought I could hurt this much and its not getting any easier, worse if anything.
I still shout his name and ask him to let me know somehow that he’s with me. Impossible I know, but I can live in hope.
The phone rings and I still look to see if it’s his name that comes up, wanting and wishing I could speak to him again.
Why so many tears everyday, when will it ease?
Stay strong and take care.
Joan xx
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If you do hear of a venue in London, please let me know.
Thank you.
Goodness Wong you hit the nail on the head. I run out my house to the car otherwise I get the woman down the road putting her hands on her chest making silly noises in shock at George’s death. I want to avoid her as she’s so dramatic. My neighbours all mean very well and are so kind hearted they each arranged a food rota and cooked each day knocking at 6pm every evening for 2weeks following George’s death I am very blessed to live in this area majority of whom are Jewish an their food was delicious. It did make me eat as my appetite was non existent.
Anyhow I cannot stand to talk as it makes me well up into the river Thames.
Thanks for the information on London meet up can’t wait when it’s safe.
Juneie
Hi Jacky your words resonated with me. We were known as George an June how can we no longer be i cannot understand it still so difficult. Sitting in my lounge surrounded with couple photos and family photos of George all around me his lovely smile it’s so very hard isn’t it.
We now need to develop life on our own develop a niche for ourselves. We need to let their legacy live on.
Juneie
Yes June, we did everything together, how can there be a Jacky without a Geoff.
It is very hard, like you I am surrounded by lovely photos of us together, usually laughing or he would be pulling a funny face.
I do get comfort from them and am glad that I am able to look at them. Just so sad that we will never add to them.
We do need to let their legacy live on. When I look at my self I am so grateful to Geoff. I am the person I am today because of him and I owe it to him to try and fulfil some of our dreams, but will be very difficult without him. Xxx
Love and hugs. Xxx Jacky
Hi Joan, I too didn’t realise I could ever feel this much pain. Still cry everyday, its almost 15 weeks since Geoff died.
I just long to hear him say my name, sometimes I forget and think I must tell Geoff that?
Its my birthday in two weeks, he was always so organised and my presents would be wrapped. He would always come up with a surprise, something I would never expect. Waking up in the morning and giving me a kiss and saying Happy Birthday Jacko ( pet names Geoffo and Jacko)
Who’s gonna surprise me now? He knew me so well 
Take care Jacky
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