Everyday throws us new challenges and painful reminders of our loss but I comfort myself by knowing my son is at peace now and I know longer have to worry about him,where he is,who he’s with and what he’s doing. I know all the answers now,he’s no longer struggling.
I miss him dreadfully,my beautiful boy.
Xxx
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Thats exactly how i feel.xx
Gosh, the only difference between you and I is the age of our sons. My Harry was 25. I feel your pain as our cicumstances mirror eachothers. Harry was my only child though. Its all too sad. I need to be with my boy as i think he needs me. Take care x
There’s no easy way through this.
I ache for you losing your only child but having a sibling that is so heartbroken is also agonising and watching them going through such pain is totally devastating.
Supporting them when you’re going through the worst time of your life is agonising.
I love my daughter but worry about her everyday and how she’s going to get through this especially as both me and my daughter were with my son when he passed.
It was truly devastating and horrific.
I hope you can find peace xxx
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Yes it is devastating for them. I always thought my two sons would have each other when I die. Now it fills me with horror that he will be left on his own. Their Dad isn’t in his life. I’m just so thankful he has a wonderful partner and her family.
I couldn’t talk to him at first about it but now we do, it’s just so heartbreaking x
I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine losing an only child. Almost two years down the line I still just take one day at a time. Life’s so different now, just wish I could have a rest from the pain as quite honestly it just wears me out x
Hi there, what you say will resonate with many. My daughter died 18 months ago and I can’t even look at her photos. I’m not ready. I have put everything in a box, in my bedroom. I will look tho, when I’m ready. As my counsellor said ‘expect a snot fest’. It does seem ‘normal’ to either be really upset by photos and urns etc or to find it gives comfort. It’s ok to look and it’s ok not to look. Sending you hugs
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I lost my son 17 March, 2023. Found him in bed, thought he was asleep. I did CPR but new it was too late. Drugs overdose. Waiting for an inquest. The pain I feel is horrendous. Can’t see the way ahead some days. All what I worked hard for gone in a flash. I wish I could move forward a bit. All I know he was kind, caring, loving, but at peace and not fighting his demons🥲 x
Hi Gill,
There is no single situation that makes our grief any easier and I totally understand how you feel.
Losing my son has devastated me and I’m sure I’ll never come to terms with it.
However life has to go on and we have to remember our beautiful children with love.
Memories .
Jayne
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I hope I will start to feel that soon. No more worrying about him, is he okay, the panic, anxiety, He is safe and resting. The battle of 14 years, good and bad times is over, I so wish it wasn’t, but I tell myself he is safe.
That is how I hope people will remember my son. We are waiting for an inquest, we have been told it was drugs overdose. Dread it being in the local paper, people judging and not knowing the full facts. I’m trying to be strong…it’s not happening though.
Hi,
We had our sons inquest recently under very similar circumstances and we were dreading the press being there but thankfully they weren’t.
If they are just remember that they didn’t know your son but those that matter did.
Set your expectations low surrounding the inquest and you won’t be disappointed.
That’s what we did because we knew how black and white it is and how impersonal.
Remember your beautiful son and the person he was not what assumptions others make.
Stay strong and remember the love that you have for him.
Much love
Jayne x
Thank you Jayne for those words. I live in a small village and like to gossip. I already had to deal with people saying someone was arrested after his funeral. The police said the incident outside the crematorium was totally unrelated. I did myself proud and put them in their place. Yes I will be prepared for the inquest in October. Thank you xx
We too live in a small village and people love to gossip.
Although our son died of a cardiac arrest everyone assumed he died as a result of suicide as that’s more sensational.
His death was drug related but not a drug overdose or suicide,sustained long term effects of drugs which eventually caused his heart to stop.
People want to make assumptions because that’s more exciting for them.
They don’t matter,we know our sons life and beauty and the struggles they faced.
That’s all that matters.
Remember how beautiful he was and the love you had for him.
Jayne x
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Hi Marg,
Everything you said resonates with me too.
Life is so hard when you lose your son in such dreadful circumstances and you just want them back so you can try to make things right for them.
When they’ve gone there is no hope of saving them and making things right for them.
But remember how much you did for him and the love that you shared with him.
We know what beautiful people they were and how much we loved them.
Jayne x
My love hugs and thoughts to you all.We will get through another day today and then again tomorrow…Theres no more we can do but carry on.Take care xxx
So sorry for everyone’s loss. I lost my girl 18 months ago. I found her and she appeared to be sleeping. On checking her again within minutes, she had died. The inquest has been cancelled twice, but I have been sent the statements. I’m not going to the inquest and, for the time being at least, not reading the statements. I have thought long and hard about this but one thing stands out for me that another mum who lost a child said ‘you can’t unremember what you might find out’. I’m broken already and it can’t help my girl. This is just how it feels for me. Until a while ago I felt t was my ‘duty’ as a mum to know all the distressing details and not to spare myself cos that would be selfish. In honesty I don’t want any more nightmares about it all and I don’t want to add to them. I suppose what I’m saying is it’s a personal choice on what feels right for each of us. There’s no right or wrong about whether to attend the inquest. Go with your heart and how you feel. It’s a personal choice and don’t let others tell you what’s best, do what you feel is right for you. Sending hugs on this awful journey. Xxxxx
Absolutely,it’s totally a personal choice and I too thought long and hard as to whether I should attend or not but for me I have to put each piece of the jigsaw into place,that’s how my brain works.
I completely get it if you don’t want to go because I found so many inaccuracies in the statements provided by people who weren’t even there.
Go with your heart and what’s best for you.
Jayne x
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I felt exactly like this when my sons inquest was reported in the local paper. They seem to forget that behind the headline there is a grieving family. To be honest though, all the comments below the article were very kind. My main objection was that it is so personal to me and my family, what interest is it to anyone else? I don’t see that reporting his death and printing so many personal details will help anyone else.
Sorry if I’m being selfish here x
My sons inquest is also dated October. He passed in May, such a long time to wait. Abd when you have suspicions about how he passed and cannot get answers, and those who were there have 3 different versions it makes me so anxious and angry. Im having a cery difficult time this week, and getting more anxious as the inquest date approaches, worrying that my concerns and suspicions wont be taken seriously enough. The police initially told us it was a suspected overdose or bad reaction, but I dont believe that, they simply assumed he had taken drugs as others there had been, but my son was sleeping when the others got there according to all of them. And he has head injuries.