Hello, you are not being selfish to want some privacy to grieve. I feel the same xxx
Hi,
You are absolutely not being selfish and youāre not on your own.
Losing a child and wanting to protect them is what we do as a mother and quite rightly so.
My thoughts are with you and remember that there are so many people going through this dreadful situation alongside you.
Much love
Jayne x
Hi,
I had my sons inquest in June after his passing back in November and youāre right itās a long and painful time wondering what the outcome will be and him getting justice.
Just remember itās a legal requirement and itās not a personal account of our beloved child.
Set your expectations low and you wonāt be disappointed and remember that they never new the beautiful person behind the struggles they were facing.
Stay strong
Kind regards
Jayne x
Hi my sons inquest is October but possibly delayed. My son passed away 17 March 2023. The coroner says it is a drugs overdoseā¦I know he struggled, so kind, caring, lovingā¦then demon drugs addiction would appear. The police have asked me did anyone go to his flat the evening before. I donāt know. His keys were in his flat door, work clothes neat for the next day. I know what happened was an accident as the pain I have is horrendous. I want the truth about it all. I have told the police this and given statements. I am determined to find out the truthā¦.stay strong xx
Hi,
I too have driven myself almost mad going over and over the events leading up to my sonās death but none of the answers will bring him back.
I donāt ever want you to feel like Iām suggesting that you ever stop questioning everything surrounding your sonās passing but just remember that you need to look after yourself too.
I hope you can find the answers you need but also remember that you need solace and time to smile about your life with your son.
Take care
Jayne x
So very true what you say and I appreciate it greatly. There are somethings that just donāt tally up. The last message I had from him the evening before was fine, he told a mate on a message I have seen he felt tired and going to bed, I ask myself when did he take the drugsš¤·āāļø. I have told the police to take his phone as I have tried to hack into it as I believe some of the answers are in the phone, sounds like Iām crazy I guess or desperate. I also everyday take the time to think of all the good times. I end up crying with happy tears. My partner who is my rock tries to keep me on track each day. I told him I would never get through this living hell but he says Iām making progress. Some days I feel Iām going backwards, sorry to ramble on but itās so good to be able to see other peopleās ideas as none of us wish we were having to use this site, thank you everyone xx
Yes its so difficult when you know deep down that it was not meant to happen. When their intention was to go on to the next day, the next week, next year, and to do things better, and to have them snatched away its so cruel, and then to have to fight to get to the truth.
I havent been given any indication as to how he died. There has been a post mortem but they are awaiting further tests, but Ive not been told even an opinion as yet, but I have my own. There was a bruise on my sons left cheek bone, and his right ear was badly bruised, so Im certain he was hit with something, but it seems as though the police arent even investigating, whether they are awaiting the inquest outcome or not I dont know.
It took until last week to hear a bit about the toxicology results. However still waiting for more results. May I suggest to you that you ring your coroners office and they may help you, mine did. I also contacted the police via the coroner as they assign a police officer to deal with other matters. I hope that may help you, otherwise you feel all alone more. Iām so sorry about your son, the heartache I canāt put into words for any of us. Take care keep in touch xx
I have spoken to the coroners officer about 3 times, both before the post mortem to give my concerns ablnd some background on my son, so they knew he wasnt into the drugs the others were who were there. My son had gone to check on his friend, the tenant who was out and he had got his head down before the others turned up. His friend wasnt there and my son probably decided to wait for him. My son used to throw those types out of the house if he was there, they used to take advantage of my sons friends premises. Ive spoken to coriners office afterwards too who told me he had asked officers to take statements, but as far as we can make out they havent done so as yet. Will be phoning the Det again in a bit. Last time I spoke to her they werent even investigating and she suggested that maybe my sin had fallen causing the bruising, but it would take one heck of a fall to cause that level of bruising - so frustrating.
Iām so sorry to hear this and itās so distressing. I have been lucky if you call it lucky the police have been quite helpful with me, but I no itās along progress as I have been told that getting statements from everyone involved, medics, witnesses etc. I have told the police they need to get into my sons iPhone, I have tried everything to get into it as I know they will find messages which will help with the investigationā¦they havenāt done anything about it as yetš¤·āāļø. We only want the truth no matter how painful it will be. I will be attending the inquest. I do no from my coroner that you are allowed the full report before the inquest and it can be a large document with post mortem, toxicology, medic and police reports.Some coroners do make a small fee for me this payment will be worth it, Iām not sure if this has helped you, Iām sorry if it doesnāt help but please ring the detective again if you feel you can even if itās not today, xx
I agree with you. When you know something doesnt fit, you cannot let it go. Police didnt take my sons phone either, even though it was down the side of the sofa where he was laying, and there was a text on there they should have looked into, may have been nothing but who knows - too late now! What contact/msg etc they have on their phones can tell a story, give indications etc, but it seems if police have even a hint of possible drug use they jump to one conclusion and stop looking!
I had to fight tooth and nail to get any response from police about my sons case. It took around 5 weeks for me to get through, contacting 101 most days, making a complaint, going to the station and funally speaking to an inspector. We had one of the lads involved tryung to insert himself with family members and my sons girlfriend, even with one of his exes which to me is a big indicator! And yet, still, police arent currently investigating. The Det told me today that they arent investigating as its not seen as suspicious, but why not, when my son had head injuries. In his adult life he has not been seen to have bruises on him, he was a hard lad, and when younger was nicknamed āpretty boyā because no matter what he made sure his face wasnt touched, and thats been true till the day he died, never saw a bruise on him, and yet his left cheekbone was bruised and his rught ear was black with bruising (not pooling).
Iām so sorry you donāt seem to be getting anywhere and getting no answers. Maybe ring the coroners office again and ask them if they have the post mortem results or if they would be able to tell how your beloved son got his head injury. The police are ignoring me too about my sons mobile when I know there are answers in it. I have got his mobile just wish I knew his password to get in. Itās all such a long process itās exhausting xx
Luckily my sin wasbt imaginitive about his password, it was his dob, and I have been able to get into his fb and e.mail accounts too. Its so wrong that they are ignoring you about your sons phone! How do they know there could easily be something in there to point them in a direction. Its as if they dont care. It really seems to me that if any information is a possible source they should investigate it, its disgraceful that we have to be the ones chasing things up all the time. I understand we are not the only ones whose loved ones deaths are being dealt with by them, but when we know sonethings not right they should take note, especially with parents who knew their child well and whose child spoke openly with the parents. I got the feeling from them that āoh, do you really think your son would tell you everything?ā In my case yes, most things, I know my sons faults very well and also know his capabilities. He text me that night to say hed be āhone in a minā, then later when he didnt turn up I phoned him, no answer, then he phoned me right back and he said he was on his way to his friends and he was sounding fine, just a bit tired.
Thank you. Very similar to my son, he was open with me, I knew about his addiction, and could tell as well. Even his friends donāt no the code to his phone but I no the police could get into it. Oh well I will keep trying like you will take care xx
Yes, dont give up hope that truth will out as they say. We have already caught out the others who were there in lies and different stories that dont match.
Exactlyā¦the truth. Iām busy on google trying to find ways to hack into my sons mobile where I now the answers are in itā¦.the police could easily do this. Take care xx
Is there a āCash Convertorsā store near you, or other mobile shop who can get into it for you. If you show them proof that your son has passed then they may be able to get it open for you. Its sirprising what they can do. They have to do it for second hand phones that are sold to them sometimes.
I hope you manage to get into it soon, if only for your own peace of mind, and if there is anything in it you think is relevant at least youre arned to confront police or coroner with it.xx