I lost my soulmate on the 2nd of December through a perforated bowel. We were inseparable she was my rock and the person that kept my feet firmly on the ground. I am not coping with the loss very well and even typing this is through tears. I know I have friends and family around but they have to go home and then the loneliness hits me. We went everywhere together .Australia, several cruises to Norway, the Med,Canary islands and most places in Britain . I feel so alone
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Dear @Whiteknight1
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your soulmate. I see that you are new to the Community. I do hope you find it to be of support and comfort to you.
One of the most difficult parts of a bereavement can be the feelings of loneliness that comes with it, nothing can prepare you for it.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few resources with you that may be of support to you in the meantime.
- self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief Grief Guide which will help you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief
- Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
Cruse Bereavement have advice on how to cope with the Loneliness . It would be worth having a read to see how it can help you.
If you type in the search bar Loneliness you can connect with members here who have experienced and been in the same position as yourself. The support here is amazing.
I do hope the above will be of help to you. Please continue to reach out and take care of yourself. You are not alone, we are all here for you.
Take care.
Pepsi
Hi @Whiteknight1
So sorry for your recent loss. Most of us on here have realised that this level of loss is so much more than any other and we empathise with each other in a way some others cannot understand. I do hope you will find the support you need to travel along this journey of grief.
The early days are truly devastating and the disbelief and shock can take a long time to work through. Try to be kind to yourself and don’t expect too much of yourself. Grief is exhausting.
Sending love to you. xxx
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Thank you KarenF
I feel exactly the same it’s been 2 months since my husband died, I think we just need to take a day at a time.
I also feel incredibly lonely, I have 2 little girls but doesn’t stop the loneliness.
You need to look after yourself and keep talking.
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@Gem2
It’s still such early days for you so believe you are doing amazingly just to be functioning and looking after your little girls.
It is almost nine months since I lost my beloved husband. We just enjoyed each other’s company, we didn’t need to be doing anything special to be happy. I miss that so much.
I am living a life now, even if it’s not the life I want. The missing is still there and the tears still come but less often. My faith is a huge help as I know we will be together again one day but that can’t be yet. My daughters need me, even though they are adults. My older one is getting married this year and my younger one has a learning disability so still needs to work on independence.
I do hope you will begin to adjust and feel at peace as time goes on.
Sending you and your daughters love. xxx
Thank you Karen F,
So sorry that you have to be on here too!
We were the same as you just loved spending time as a family doing simple things. That’s when we were are happiest.
We’ve had so many firsts in such a short space of time, which has made it harder.
We just miss him so much the pain is unbearable.
Look after yourself x
Hi @Whiteknight1. I lost my husband just over 10 weeks ago very suddenly and unexpectedly. I’m a little further along this nightmare road than you. We too went on lots of cruises around the med and Scandinavia. I could never go on a cruise again. I’m so very sorry for your loss. All of us on here know exactly how you feel. It’s early days for both of us just now. We can only hope that the pain will become less raw and sharp as time goes on. Meanwhile, keep posting and reading on here. I have found it invaluable. Everyone is so kind and supportive and there’s always someone here in our worst moments. Big cuddle and strength to you xx. Jean.
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Thanks jean.
My partners name was jean. I had booked another cruise to Norway just before she was taken ill . I said I was going to cancel but she made me promise to go and take my daughter and the grandchildren which I will do. I know it will be very strange but I am hoping to take her ashes with me and with her sons blessing release then to the sea where she loved to be
Ah that will be lovely. Norway was one of David’s and my favourite countries we visited. I do hope it will go towards helping with your healing process x.
I’m hoping so too . By the way my name is David too what a coincidence. I do hope you don’t give up on the cruises has I’m sure your husband would be happy for you if you did want to go.
I know it would be strange to go without your husband but do you not have family member who could go with you. I’m sorry I don’t mean to be so personal.
I have a big, very supportive family and I’m sure they would go with me but I don’t know if I could handle it just yet. Maybe sometime in the future when I’m feeling a bit stronger. Meanwhile, I’m planning to go to Spain to visit my close friends in the not-too-distant future. When is your cruise if you don’t mind my asking?
My cruise is booked for June . My grandchildren are twins of 16 and a seven year old. It’s only for 7 days but it will be their first trip abroad so they are looking forward to it x
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Ah, something nice for you to look forward to but I expect there’s a certain amount of trepidation too. I get anxious when heading anywhere we went together, even the garden centre. I know it’s going to cause me so much pain.
Yes am hoping it all goes well . Yes I went shopping yesterday and ended up in tears as I kept looking at product that I used to buy for jeans tea as she always had problem with eating. I’m sure it will get easier with time but did have a really bad day yesterday . I know I will have the same problem as you with going to certain places that we used to go together. I will say goodnight to you jean and I hope we can chat regular if you don’t mind .
I don’t mind at all. Anything to help. Goodnight.
Hello jean8. I hope you are well and that things are looking a little clearer for you. I had a really bad day at work today and I still don’t know why. Have spoken to hr and asked if they see about getting me some counselling
Hello @Whiteknight1. I’m no sorry you’ve had a hard day. I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about that. I hope they can sort you out some counselling and that it brings you some peace. Things are very slightly easier but I still feel disorientated and out of sync. I expect it will take time as my life and routine were altered and turned upside down in a matter of minutes.
Hello jean8 it wasn’t a hard day as in I had to work hard it was just that I broke down at least four times and don’t quite understand as it wasn’t anything to do with a song on radio. Yes I come home and still call out to her expecting an answer but knowing none will come. Not sure how long the out of sync is supposed to last. People keep telling me that I’m not giving myself enough time and I need to grieve maybe that’s why I need counselling .
Yes I realised it was hard because of your great loss. It is very early days still. I lost my husband in November and I break down regularly morning, noon and night. I still can’t grasp that he’s gone forever. I know counselling wouldn’t help me as I’d prefer to talk to people who knew him well rather than a total stranger but I know that it helps lots and lots of people. I’m lucky in that I have my big supportive family around me.
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