I understand .
I can still see him sitting in his chair as if he was still here.
Wish he was even though I was holding
him as he passed away.
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Oh gosh I want a Welsh cwtch so much! One of my husbandās favourite phrases. Crying now!
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Yes,thatās what I miss so much too. Angela and I used to love a cwtch- nothing half so nice. But we still have those lovely memories, let them sustain us, not drag us down. Cwtch!
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I read all your posts it will be 6 weeks on Sunday for me. Nobody family etc can understand how much i am hurting i have tried but they just tell me this is my new life and i will get use to it. They have no idea of the depth of lonilness. My daughter gets married next Thursday Gra and I was walking her down the aisle ( he was not her dad) now i am doing it alone. I am dreading it the tears are falling now. I am also struggling as it means going out as i have said before i suffer from agrophobia. I just want zGra here to hold me . Xx
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Iāve had this as it was a year Friday the 19 I lost my fiancĆ© he was only 51 Iāve deleted friends and argued with people who asked if I would ever date again I was
Like are you deluded no chance never I sometimes wear his engagement ring with mine and had a ring made with some of his hair when he started growing it x
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Not the steps sorry couldnāt delete pic
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I must admit I was puzzledš¤
Lovely ring x
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Couldnāt delete x
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Thank you xx
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Iāve had the same move on youāll find someone new I was like look I donāt want anyone else people can be so insensitive sorry for your loss
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Totally understand Mogs1ā¦ā¦
Itās only two weeks tomorrow since I lost my other halfā¦ā¦seems like I will feel like this foreverā¦
Sending big hugs to you x
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Liroā¦.
Thatās exactly how I feelā¦.
Lost him two weeks tomorrowā¦.
I told him Iād be fine and I would be strong so he didnāt worryā¦
Now I feel like my world has fallen inā¦ā¦
Iām glad others feel the sameā¦itās comforting somehowā¦
Sending hugs to you x
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Me too. I have just switched on my phone and located the Gallery facility. His picture is there. Lost to liposarcoma on 4.4.26. I long for him and cannot sleep.
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Oh Redveg, Iām so sorry for your loss.
I feel for you starting this journey.
At the moment you must just do what you feel. Cry, there is nothing wrong in crying, in fact it is good, and talk to people if you can.
The first few weeks just go by in a haze of tears and pain
Iām over 2 years now. You do learn to cope
Distraction is the key. But its such early days for you.
Have you got any local bereavement groups, mine has been invaluable
And this site, where you will be talking to people going through the same suffering
After a while you will come to cherish photos and memories. At the moment it is too painful. I put a photo of Roger on my phone as screensaver, at first it hurt so much, but after a while it helped
For now just do what you want to do and if thats cry, then thatās ok, because those tears are what help us through.
And, although you wonāt believe it now, you will get through.
Thinking of you and sending love and hugs
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Liro
Gardening
Thanks for your reply and your wise words about what to expect in future. I feel that I am drowning in grief at the moment. I have a picture of my husband on my mobile, which I took in March, a few weeks before he died, but I cannot bear to look at it. I feel that I want to get inside the image and take him back, but I know this is not possible.
I have always been a materialist all my life and just a few weeks ago my husband said that he believed that there is nothing after death. I hope that he is wrong and that we will meet again after my own demise. Physicists now talk of parallel universes, contempraneous with our own. There is a theory/belief that when we die we go to a parallel universe where the orders of space and time are different from those we experience in our lives now.
Right now, although I am trying to build connections, it all seems very compensatory and second-best. I will be 78 next month, so I hope that I do not have too much longer to endure. My life has never been good, and for fifty years my husband has stood by me, through thick and thin. He has been my anchor, my port-in-a-storm, my soulmate and my dearest love. Now he is gone and I am bereft. Really, what is the point of going on. I am not actively suicidal, but I have to say that if assisted dying were available to all in the UK now, I would happily elect to die today to be with him.
I am dreading the funeral, when the love of my life will be reduced to ashes. How can I ever accept this. A year ago, although he had metastatic cancer, he had no symptoms and felt totally healthy, able to walk 8 miles per day across hilly countryside with no fatigue at the end. But by November, he had suffered a sudden decline, and by April he was in St. Christopherās Hospice, receiving end-of-life care, his skin penetrated by IV needles, immobilised on the bed, and wearing an incontinence pad (he was never in fact, incontinent, just bedridden and unable to move).
A part of me cannot believe that he is dead. At a certain level this fact is not comprehensible. I too am struggling with shopping, housework, etc. I cannot sleep and I exist on a very poor diet.
All the best to you and all others who post on this page.
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Wifey1
How unbelievably callous and crass for that āfriendā to tell you that you would soon meet someone else.
I would cross her/him off my friendship list. Pronto. They do not deserve you.
I understand completely when you say if you canāt be with your beloved husband you do not want to be with anyone. I would give a kingās ransom to be with my husband again, but I do have to acknowledge that he is no longer here (he would have been the first to say this as he was a practical and down-to-earth man), and that I am still living. This means that if I am not to become solitary like a recluse I just have to make social connections. Of course, none of these will fill the GM-shaped hole in my soul, but it is better than the alternative.
Wishing all the very best.
My spouse passed a little bit over two yrs. ago and at times I still canāt believe heās not here. When youāve been w/ someone so many years, itās just plain hard to adapt. Prob. moreso for some and less so for others.
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I am the same.
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I too feel the same, there are many times I stop in my tracks to ask
āHow did this happen? How can it be that you have gone and arenāt coming back?ā
Or, more recently āWhere are you?ā
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Same here. Itās still surreal to me at many times.
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