Thank you.
We are of course grieving for loved ones but we are also grieving for the future we thought we would have.
Love,
Rose x
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I feel so sad for you and everyone on this site. Two and a half years since Robin died but life is a bit easier now. The first 18 months were awful - just felt completely lost and alone. Went on hols with my family a few months after and had quite a pleasant time and the grandchildren always make me laugh but whilst we were waiting at the airport for our flight home i just started crying and couldnt stop. It was just the thought of going home to an empty house and being alone again. We were still at the wearing masks stage so dont think everyone was aware except my daughter and she kept asking what was wrong. You just cant explain that awful feeling. These last couple of months things are easier but still have ābadā days. Sending love to everyone and hopefully better days to come xx
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Hi Jody - Iām 7.5 months in to the sudden death of my 54 year old husband from bowel cancer, who had no symptoms so it was a terrible shock and he died suddenly 6 weeks later. I canāt listen to music either - the best advice Iāve found so far is not to think too much into the future, donāt push yourself or expect to be improving because others expect you to be going through some set process - itās not and unless this has happened to you, no one can really comprehend what weāre going through. To do lists are helpful Iāve found as my brain isnāt functioning very well at the moment - if you can also just get out somewhere green and natural it really helps too - if I manage to make a meal like spag bol - (Iām vegetarian though) - I try to pack it with vegetables, make a huge amount, freeze some portions and then turn the rest into a chilli - at least then youāll have nutritious food in freezer when you canāt cook - all the best darling xxxx
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Thanks for your help and support. Iāve had lots of āadvice ā, but from people who arenāt in this horrendous situation. Yours is much appreciated as I know it is gained through heartbreaking experience. Lots of love xxxx
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I totally understand how you are feeling. I lost my husband maundy Thursday. It was so traumatic & unexpected. I am in turmoil about it, but trying to keep going for my 2 children (22 & 27) who still live with us. I sob every night because I try not to during the day. Just a thought, but have you tried keeping a journal of your feelings. I biugjt a little notebook yesterday as Iāve been told itās goid to write your feelings down. Iām glad you have friends who are keeping you close, I have certainly found out that I have so many amazing people in my life. Sending love 
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On the food front, I lived on ready meals for the first 2 months. After that I decided that I need to start cooking again, so I went back to my favourite recipes, and cook for 2. I spent nearly 45 years doing that, so why change things! I eat a portion and freeze a portion, and I reckon to only cook 3 days a week now. Also I agree with @Gardening to do lists help hugely. I have to write mine in a notebook though, bits of paper get lost!
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I find that keeping a daily journal is a great help. I tell my husband what I have been doing, as well as how I feel on that day. Sometimes I find little quotes on Facebook that make me sad or happy, and I include those too. I always tell him how much I love him, and how much I miss him. It works for me.
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I feel for you, mine has been 5 weeks yesterday. This journey of grief feels so hard. I cant come to terms with hes gone forever, i still feel heās going to walk back in the door. I cant go out and just keep breaking down snd crying. Sleep is something Iām struggling with, even the sleeping tablets dont really help ! I feel like Iām getting worse 
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So sorry.
It is a hard journey. One we thought would be in the future, not now.
It is a mind blowing situation.
We all understand on this site.
At 5 weeks I was just like you. It was around the time of my husbandās funeral.
I wish I could tell you that there is a way to avoid all this pain, I really wish I could.
Sending you a very big hug,
Rose x
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Hi Jody, I am new to this site. I lost my wife 6 weeks ago.
Canāt seem to motivate myself to do anything in the house. I have retired to the garden where I am more comfortable.
Living on meals we froze before she died but they are going to run out soon.
All our plans for the future have gone.
Thankfully I have a very supportive family and am leaning on them so much but they are suffering as well.
Hopefully we will all learn how to move forward.
I understand how you and others feel and to see how others are moving forward gives me hope for the future.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings but it helps to share with others.
Look after yourself
JOH
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Hi @Julie184
I know exactly how you feel as we all do on here.
Iāve been writing to my husband since 2 days before his funeral. The first letter went in his coffin with him.
I write every night. I tell jim about my day and how much I am misshim. Its usually accompanied by a lot of tears, but occasionally I manage it without. I feel it helps me, and it keeps a connection.
Please keep posting on here, the support is amazing.
Big hugs
Liz x
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Hi I feel the same as everyone else and can relate to what people have said. Itās two years for me but donāt feel much better if at all. I have this empty feeling inside which canāt be filled. I just miss him so much.
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Thank you so much @Liro. I have just started my journal this morning adding my favourite pictures including our special wedding day one. I agree that i think it will help. I love your idea to send him off with your first letter, how lovely for him & you.
Iāve been writing on the notepad on my phone. But Iām so terrified of losing them Iāve started to type them up and I will keep them on a special folder. Iām also going to do a scrapbook of our favourite photos.
I have also decided to get a memory box for all the funeral things. I canāt bear to get rid of them so I shall keep them all together in a memory box.
My dear neighbour made me this from some of the flowers from the coffin, and the one I was holding
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Thank you Rose. I know youāre feeling it too. 
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Ive tried to put pen to paper but nothing seems to come out right. I just end up crying and then feeling angry because he left me alone.
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Thatās beautiful and such a good idea
Oh @N8658
It doesnt matter how it sounds, just let your thoughts come tumbling out and just right them down. Thatās how I first started. I doubt it made much sense when I think about it. It doesnāt matter
Crying and getting angry is ok. I do it and I think youll find most of us on here do.
Its been 12 weeks now and I still cry like a child asking for the moon.
I do find now an occasional good day pops up which makes me think Iām improving. But then more bad days come. Itās just the rollercoaster we have to ride. Hoping someday it will stop long enough to get off. If even for a while.
Big hugs
Liz x
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I can feel for all of you as I lost my husband 2.5 years ago and the second year was harder for me too. I am into my third year and still finding it hard to move forward in my life, I donāt really know what I want any more and I donāt see a future without him, and although I would like to create a new future I just donāt know where to start and I just feel itās pointless somehow. I get little to no support or understanding from people around me who seem to think it was so long ago that I should be āgetting betterā as though grief is an illness. Not sure where to go from here but life sure feels alone and lonely without that special person that he was to me.
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Yes I agree with you.X
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