Hi JOH2
you are not rambling just expressing your disbelief and utter sadness that we all find ourselves in. It’s strange but I find being in the garden safe and comforting too. I am going to take paeony’s advice and start a journal. That way I will feel like I’m still communicating with him. Sending love and strength x
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yes, i feel the same, i lost my soulmate in Feb and i look fir him everywhere. thinking it must be a mistake, he cant be gone. i talk to his photo, telling him how i feel, how lost i am, how i see no future and wsnt to be with him. The pain is physical, my heart is broken. i tell him i love him every night and every morning as we always used to, then try to get on with my day. i have a few good days when i dont cry, but mostly i cry. its still early days and raw and all we can do is take one step and 1 day at a time.
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Hi @ronnie4
It could have been me that had just written your post.
Thats exactly how I feel
Sending hugs
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Yes exactly my feelings. I’m heartbroken and can’t see a future without him and don’t want to. X
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What an unbelievable horrendous journey we’re all on.
I knew Roger was going to die. He was worried about me .“I’ll be fine, I’ll be ok” I said.
Wrong!!!
I really don’t know what I was expecting, I hadn"t really thought about it, I just didn’t want him worrying about me. I think I almost convinced myself I’d be fine.
Then bang, my whole world imploded and I was left with this devastating grief. I’m totally broken but I’m trying to pick up the pieces. But its so so hard.
But one day I’ll do it, because I told him I would.
In the meantime I’m trying, but not getting very far. Waiting for someone to tell me it’s all a mistake and he’s coming home. Waiting for my broken heart to heal, but I know it never will.
I know everyone on here will understand
Thankyou all for listening
Big hugs
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Jody its awful, and no one understands hhow we feel, i have to put on a mask and say i feel ok, when i want to curl up and die. thats not what hed want though somehow we have to get through it one step at a time . Sendin hugs xx
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Mogs1 I feel exactly the same, every single thing I do, everything I look at in our house all reminds me of him. When I go out of the house it reminds me of him, when I go in the garden my heart aches and aches as we loved spending time there. The roses are coming out and new summer flowers and I want to rush in and tell him to come and see them…I lost him suddenly just over a week ago, i know it is early days but the pain is so so hard to deal with. 
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The garden is the same for me …i want to rush and tell him about all the lovely flowers that are starting to bloom…the garden is torture at this time, I hope and believe one day it will be a solace.
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Hi. It’s been a year and a half since my husband passed away at 59. I’m still struggling and still unable to listen to music. Get very emotional and start crying. His clothes and shoes are still in the cupboard. Seriously don’t know when the time will come when I can go through them. I still have his ashes at home. Finding it very difficult to scatter them.
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Penny6 I am so sorry for your loss. It’s such early days and I am only 4 weeks in and really can’t say I feel any different to you. The pain is actually physical and I just look forward to going to bed at night to escape this nightmare. Keep posting as it’s the only community that really understand and feel your pain. Sending love and support x
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Hi Deepak Milan. I have just received my partner’s ashes and find it comforting to have them at home, as it’s the only thing left that I have of him. Don’t feel any pressure to scatter them. It’s your own decision whether you do or not. I have some in a separate little casket that I want putting in with me when I go. That way we will be together again. Sending love and support x
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Lost my partner on Saturday, we have a little girl. Still in total shock only found out the day before he had cancer and just don’t know how going to get through life without him
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That must an horrendous situation. Be strong and you’ll move forward. They say time is a healer but I’ve not experienced that yet. Take comfort in memories and remember all the good times you all had. Best wishes for the future you will get through it and begin to cope .
Just can’t cope with the thought that I’m never going to see him again and don’t see how I will ever feel ok, so heartbroken that he won’t see his little girl grow up too, he loved her so much
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What a tragic situation. These are very early days and you are still in shock. Everyone on here understands your situation. Keep posting for love and support over the coming days/weeks/ months ahead. You will see him again every day in your little girl. So very sad for you x
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so sorry for your loss, its early days yet just take 1 day at a time, i hope you have family to give you support. perhaps you could make a memory box for your little girl, with photos etc, talk about him when you’re able it will.keep his memory alive. it will take a long time but the pain does get easier to bear.
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I am so sorry to hear that. You must be in total shock. Nothing anyone
I understand completely along with many others who have replied. I lost my dad 6 months ago and I still haven’t accepted he is gone, it’s like he’s still only a phone call away. I can picture giving him a hug so clearly that it’s like I can almost physically feel his arms hugging me back. Some days I wonder how on earth I’m supposed to carry on with normal things without him. Like your husband, my dad’s illness was very short and so it’s still a shock now. Take each day as it comes and be sure to take care of yourself. X
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My wife passed away at the end of October last year - I know it’s a cliche but I am literally getting by day by day. I’m drained by the evening. A couple of days ago it suddenly dawned one that this is how things will be now - no one to tell if I’ve seen something really funny or bizarre during the day or if I’ve had a really odd dream. ‘Lost’ doesn’t even scratch the surface.
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