I still miss my husband after 6 years. It still makes me cry sometimes when I remember how much we loved each other and how alone I feel now without him. I was wondering if anyone feels the same. Love to everyone who is grieving xx
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Hi
It never goes away does it? I love and miss my husband just as much as the day he died 22 months ago. It’s not just the big things like his love and companionship that I miss, it’s also the little things like making 2 cups of tea, sharing meals or watching daft TV together. It’s actually a comfort to know that others feel the same. Take care
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Hi
Thanks for your kind reply. You are absolutely right it’s the little things that hurt. My husband used to make us a cuppa at bed time every night. He was my best friend. Although I can function better now than before my whole life has changed and i am lost without him. I’m so sorry for your loss and wish you do not have to be on this forum, but you’re right although i would never wish anyone the pain of grief it does ease the real lows to know your not alone, thank you. Take care
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Hi @Keswick I lost my husband unexpectedly 3 months ago when he died in his sleep.
It’s true, the little things hurt the most. Even cooking makes me cry because I remember his favourite dishes and also the food he used to cook on evenings when I was working late.
We’re not the same people any more. I wish things could return to how they were…I just want to hug him and tell him I love him.
I realise everyone grieves differently but for me the pain is no better. I’m just better at hiding it from other people.
Warmest of hugs,
P
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For me it’s only 6 weeks, but I haven’t been cooking properly for over a month. Just can’t force myself. I use to make him breakfast everyday, then soup, lunch and we had dinner together. I don’t like to eat on my own so ending up having a quick sandwich. Really struggling with daily routine, I was an early bird, on my feet at 5 am waking my dogs, now it’s nearly 8am and I’m struggling to leave the bed. I also found that I really hate our bedroom now. It’s so hard.
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@justynap87 I remember how I was at 6 weeks - the grief and mental pain were exhausting. The only reason I got up early was to drove my son to school. Then I’d come home and fall asleep on the sofa. Previously you wouldn’t catch me napping in the day.
6 weeks was around the time I started antidepressants because I literally couldn’t finction and kept forgetting things.
You are doing well to take the dogs for a walk. Don’t be too hard on yourself - the pain is so raw.
This site has really helped, knowing that there are other people going through the same emotional rollercoster.
Just breathe in and breathe out.
x
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Lonelyplanet
Its right what you say about cooking.My dear wife was a great cook, she made me lovely meals.Now i live on cereal toast and ready meals.As you say we are not the same people anymore i dont think we ever will be ,our lives have changed for ever.I just wish my dear wife was still here, to hug her and she hug me and tell her how much i love her.I will love her until i too leave this earth.Take care
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Yes you are so right , i lost my husband 5years 7months ago and still miss and cry each day…i hate going to bed and hate getting up to start a new day alone will one ever find life a little easier…why should we when we loved them so very much .
Love to all
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Hi Keswick, My wife passed over 116 weeks ago and I’ll never get used to this ‘new’ life without her. The pain and loneliness follows me everywhere. No good morning kiss, no beaming smile greeting me at the door, no hugs and kisses and declarations of love each and every day, just this metaphorical gaping wound in my heart each waking moment. I cry each day and plead for her to return, to mend my broken heart, but to no avail
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Phobe,ten weeks for me.I thought i was getting a little better,doing things around the house, reading,still crying everyday, but trying to put a smile on and get through each day.This morning,i went to make a cup of coffee,suddenly,i wanted to scream and scream,the awfullness of the years of lonliness ahead,never hearing seeing holding talking to my beautiful husband ,only empty bed,chair,one plate for meals, it was like a sunami of grief. So many of us here struggle just to get through every day,even in the company, family or friend’s, still feel lonely,only want my husband.My grandchildren are a joy,but my heart is so broken,even they cannot take this pain away.I hope time will bring some happiness into our lives,and we will begin to smile and enjoy our friends and families like we used too .Dentist appointment tomorrow, will miss my husband dropping ne off,and picking me up.It is these small things that i miss as well.Like popping to the shop for me when i have forgotten something,makiing cups of tea, or cooking supper ,taking me wherever i wanted to go,without complaint.I can drive,but am terrified i will break down, and he will not be here to rescue me,although i do have breakduwn cover.i wish everybody a good day,and to think only happy thoughts.
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Yes, Keswick I feel exactly the same as you and I am 6 years on from losing my lovely husband and am sorry that you feel this way too. Our Grandson had his 21st birthay party last night and although surrounded by people I know and all his lovely friends I felt alone, I think thats the hardest part of bereavement, pretending that your okay when all you want is that special person to be with you. Also going home on your own to that empty house. Love to you on this journey. Jenny x
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Kingfisher and Keswick
I feel exactly the same as you both do.My dear wife passed about 4 months ago.I keep reliving that awful moment over and over again.She passed here in the living room.The future ahead of just lonelliness.I am never going to see or hear my wife again.holding her hand ,hugging her,seeing her lovely smile, talking to her.Just eating alone, i have still got her placemat at the table.Her place next to me on the sofa, the empty bed.Everything is so hard to take in.Its the feeling of being alone now.As you said Jenny pretending that you are okay when all that you want is that special person to be with you is such a hard part of bereavement.The empty house is so difficult and upsetting too.Take care
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Hi - been 1yr since I lost my wife and best friend and jut like yourself totally lost, it seems that all I do is weep.
I’m told that talking to people like yourself and others helps.
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I know what you mean, it’s 10 years in September that I lost my Bob and I still miss him so much. Thinking of you.
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Hi to all of you, I am only just over six weeks into this nightmare, reading all your posts is such a mixed bag of emotions for me. So many of you are still so obviously lost and bereft, in a way it is helpful to know that there are so many others who have obviously shared a life so full of joy and happiness and love yet it is heart breaking to read how many of you are still feeling the despair that is a constant part of my life at the minute.
How do you deal with the people who think that after a certain time limit you should have ‘moved on’? I can’t imagine a day in my life for however long that may be when I am not torn apart that my husband was ripped away from me, the pain is like a wild animal trapped inside me that is trying to constantly tear it’s way out, how can that ever get better or be something I can ‘get over’? Reading what you all say though is helpful as it allows me to realise that, despite what well meaning people say about ‘time healing’ etc there really is no light at the end of the tunnel, I have been told that you never actually stop feeling the pain, just that it becomes more manageable and you learn to live with it. As always at the minute I am rambling again now so I will stop, my heart goes out to each and every one of you though, no matter how far or recent your loss is, we are all here it seems because we are lost and struggling to understand the changes that have been forced upon us. I now know I am not alone in thinking every morning when I wake up ‘oh great, another day to be survived’, there seems to be no reason to look forward to a new day now, the reason I loved life was because of my husband, he was my life and I am struggling to see what I still have without him. x
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Hi, I’m in the 7th week of this nightmare and can relate to how you are feeling. I have better days now and then, but evenings are the worst ones, it just gets so quiet. This is my first big loss in life, which I would never have expected at this age. Life isn’t fair. I grieve not only the loss of my partner but also our plans, starting a family, a bigger house, etc. We used to talk about how funny we would like at an older age, walking and holding hands. Miss him so much, it’s still very raw at the 6th or 7th week. I honestly haven’t cooked properly since my partner passed away, but I would love to at some point. For now, I’m taking it day by day and no plans for the future.
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Hi Keswick
I feel exactly like you it will be 6 years this month since I lost my wonderful wife of 40 years together.
Take care X
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Warmest wishes and thanks to everyone who has replied and carried on this conversation.
My heart goes out to everyone who has sadly found themselves here. As many of you have observed, often people don’t really understand ( I think most people don’t really if it hasn’t happened to them) the devastation of losing a partner. I find it a huge support to feel I am not alone. Of course i dont wish others to be sad, but I take comfort from knowing others too miss their partner and keep them close to their heart even if that does mean sitting with sadness sometimes.
I really would like
everyone who has recently lost their partner to thank you for your courage sharing your story. I am so so sorry the loss of your dear partner. You are so brave and i really hope you find comfort from this site, even just knowing nobody is alone. Please don’t worry you’ll feel like this forever. I find comfort in knowing I’m not alone in the saddest moments which just catch you but they do gradually decrease and happy memories flourish. I have a fantastic grief counsellor who keeps reminding me everyone is unique as will your journey through grief be. Wishing each day is the best it can be for everyone.
Warmest hugs xx
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I mark the weeks on my calendar, too. I thought I was the ony one.
Hi Keswick, no, it never goes away but hopefully the crying days & down/ despair days become less & less over powering.
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