Ive a 19 yr old son living with me and three others live other places, my rock lately is my best friend we grew up together, she’s got me through dark times. That’s prob why it’s better for you to go out only so many times you can watch 4 walls ! But even when you have people you can still feel lonely, my cocker spaniel is my better half ! I would not be without a dog they are an absolute godsend
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Yea I had a Yorkie once I know about the unconditional love a dog gives. I was born 68, I more or less about to give up on today. I prefer the innocence and common sense back then. I really don’t belong in today’s world as my mum was a very down to earth person. She had it tough money wise so I grew up with that background. Kids are getting killed because of social media, they plan and arrange it all online. Seen so many programmes about it. I tried to contact my first gf and then her sister that got me 13 hours in a cell, so I do hate the cops now and probably will for the rest of my life now. I didn’t mean any harm just wanted to go back to my roots but the moo moo weaponised the cops against. Something that’s happening all the time now, just think people gave their lives so we could have freedom. it’s just tragic now what this country becomes!
I remember a married man who was after my mum he pester her a bit and yes it would be classed as harassment. But she never reported him to the cops. She just brushed it off at the time.
Yes the worlds gone mad all this me too etc etc, one thing is though I’ll never change to suit these people. The police do sometimes make the wrong decisions it’s hard to know which fence they are on these days
Sometimes you know it’s best to be invisible no one knowing your business, that’s how I prefer my life. But my parents were always the same too
I won’t either, they can go to hell. My mum bought me up and roots are so important Without roots, you don’t have an identity. Cops serve themselves and their interest now. Smoke, mirrors, lies, deceit, cowardice, today’s world I’m afraid… Cops are the enemy of the people now. The decent ones got out whilst they could.
Hi, I lost my dad in 2021. Left house, left country but still it haunts me. He comes in my dream every fortnight. I have to hide my feelings because I cant open up to my mother. We share a strange relationship. I had attend counselling for 6 weeks. It helped me a lot brought me back to life somehow but I cant move on with my Dad’s death. I miss him but I cant tell this to anyone. I cant accept it. I am unsure with my life. I am unsure where I am heading to. I am living it like a duty with pain, grief and sorrow that eat me on daily basis but I have to live I know I have to live. Only if my dad know how much I love him but how painful it is seeing him in my dreams and crying almost every night. I dont know how to do it…way too young to afford this pain. My dad’s premature death led me to this depression.
Hi sorry for your loss but grief has no timescale we all deal with it differently, its good you got support
It’s a shame you can’t confide in your mam I don’t know circumstances and I don’t want to but she’s still here and maybe needs you more now. Dreams are them visiting you so try and see that as a happy thing your dads letting you know he’s always going to be with you just in a different way now. Take care
I don’t blame you either, some police are very sketchy the scary part is they have the ability to cover stuff up too
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Too much power and out of control because of that power. I don’t really like talking about them as I now see them as a dark sinister entity. Things have changed so much in this country, the way we was bought up and our parents doesn’t apply to this world. It doesn’t even feel like England no more and our history feels like it relates to another world, another universe. I belong to a spiritual group on FB and I always mention it too others on here to help them. We shouldn’t turn down any help we can get as it’s in short supply these days.
I saw a Robin earlier outside my flat, I watched him or her hoping it might come to my window, but it didn’t. Was nice to see the Robin, but it was busy with maybe looking for food. It flew off so quickly.
Maggie’s tomorrow but I’m fed up of Myeloma and the hospital.
My Ocean calender came today so I put that up. Managed to phone my housing up as I been paying too much rent. Went to the bank to put a cheque in, but saw a daughter and mother. I’m very wary of that. Loads of noisy kids in town and quite cold out, so kind of happy to be home. Doesn’t matter what I really do these days if I could join mum I would . Which makes doing the SCT a 50/50 decision.
Hi, I lost my mum and then my uncle(her brother) who was like another dad to me 10days later. This was in may/June 2022. Its still as raw today as it was then. I miss my mum so so much. Even though im 53 yrs, i miss her hugs, advice …everything about her.
My heart goes out to you. Im so sorry you are feeling like this.
L.
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yea I miss chats, even though they came more rarer towards the end. You get up fresh every day, then it dawn’s on you another day on your own. Besides speaking to the chap in the bank and a member of staff at Tesco’s to take a item I scanned twice by mistake. That’s it for the day, it’s not living, it’s just an existence!
Might give Maggie’s a miss tomorrow, all you do is introduce yourself and tell people how long you had Myeloma for. I’m cheesed off with it all, putting it mildly.
live a miserable existence or die and be with mum tough decision.
It will get tiring all this backward and forward to hospital, I’m not surprised it gets you down. I’d try to join as many support groups as you can, even online ones too.
This weather never helps anyone’s mood either it’s a depressing month January, hopefully when nicer weather comes it changes frame of mind.
It’s the easiest way out to want to join your mum, but I reckon your mum would want you to try and push through treatment and stay positive.
I’m quite happy to stay in all month, had my 1st counselling session today was really tough but it’s necessary for me to move forward. There’s lots of childhood trauma along with multiple grief and I know I’ll never get over that but I’m hoping I can learn to come to terms with things and just get in a better place one day
I love little robins the way they dart about looking for food, you can tame them to feed off hand
It’s hard to say if I’m clinically depressed or not as I’ve never suffered from depression so wouldn’t know what it’s like. I do see a lot of post I can relate to on here though. I would say it’s nice to see other people in the same position but it’s not. It’s horrible, I never thought my life would be like this. I wanted freedom when mum was alive now I would swap it to have her back. But it was her time and I do think mum’s in a better place. My view hasn’t changed regards that and I think mum with my grandma. Been doing some PlayStation, take my mind of things. The hospital is taxing and exhausting at the same time, I thought it give me a challenge in life. But the downside is being on my own with it, still not sure to do Maggie’s or not tomorrow. I gotta go Friday, Sat, Sun off back in Monday and Wednesday next week. It never stops, been doing this since June.
Hi @Keith68, did you have any grief counselling after your mum died? Sue Ryder offer 6 online sessions. There’s a 6-8 week wait but I have heard others say it’s good.
I think cancer charities offer something similar & may even have group meetings which might be more beneficial.
Your GP will be able to assess whether you’re clinically depressed. You have had a lot going on & I wish you all the best with your treatment.
We can’t bring our mums back 
but we owe it to them to do what we can to help ourselves.
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I’d say you possibly are depressed I always look at how many good days v bad days and lately bad days winning, maybe counselling would help you ? It’s not for everyone but it’s a good place to start they can put you in touch with other places.
It’s each to their own with that though, when my mam was alive she didn’t really do much ended up being a hermit, didn’t like people. She wasn’t always like that tho she just got into a rut and it’s harder to get out when you find yourself in that. It’s probably more important now for you to go to as many things as possible it’s not nice what your going through but maybe use that to your advantage of joining more things and mixing with other like minded people. It could help but if it doesn’t least you’ve tried, you might actually find you enjoy your own company the more people you meet !
My mam used to have a plaque saying the more people i meet the more I like my dog
Fact !
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Maggie’s do but not grief with a loss, only Myeloma. I been ok with Myeloma but I struggle to find a reason to continue treatment. I’m out of synch with a lot of other patients. I remember when I did my first Maggie’s Myeloma group and told someone who plays a significant role within organizing stuff. I told I loss my mum and she was like how old was mum, 95 was my reply. That’s a good age to live too, but it didn’t really help me really. Today was another group session I didn’t go. Getting sick of it, I have to go tomorrow for treatment. If anything happened to me then my first contact would be mum. Mum was so many things, a rock, a shoulder to cry on, she understood and was always there for me come rain, snow. Now mum isn’t here no more!
My mum became a hermit too. I was working quite a bit because they took my carers allowance of me. Mum slept a lot most days and had dementia and other medical problems. Her body clock had gone and put the TV on at 2am in the morning. Cararers were garbage but took over, oncall. Didn’t feel like my home no more what with the equipment, and other people poking their nose into stuff. I put up with it, but I was a lodger by that time. Going to work got me away from it all and made me money. But I lost my relationship with my mum, I lost the closeness, the chats.
My job made it not easy to get out of work as it was classed as casual work. But I could book onto jobs and money was decent. But the jobs could be long hours and if you cancelled you had to do it within 5 days or you would kop. Two of them and you would get kicked out the company. But when mum died they passed my number onto someone who dealt with bereavement and they changed a lot of my jobs to locally. Even now they been understanding with my Myeloma and I still remain on their books. They could of emailed me my P45 but they haven’t
95 was a good age but like you said it doesn’t help to hear that, you want your mam to always be there, my mams mam is still alive, my Nana she’s 102 my mam was only 74
Awful for my Nana too losing her daughter it’s not the right order is it ?
Maybe do voluntary work like bereavement counselling, just to keep your mind ticking over for now
But your mam is always alive in you, my mams sisters tell me ive my mams mannerisms etc and that’s keeping her alive, they never disappear from your life just wander off into a different room waiting until it’s our turn
Yes I do believe our mum’s live on in us, I was told that a while ago by someone. I earlier rung someone about sorting a will out for me. Yesterday went to bank and rung housing up and did shopping. So I’m trying to do something every day. I did get a little sick pay and today got pip paid into my account. I just got of the phone from talking to friends as I will need some help setting up a will for myself. Tomorrow hospital for treatment and consultation on Monday. Then will ring this guy to push this will process on. I didn’t go to Maggie’s today as I wanted a break from Myeloma sometimes it feels too much and it’s controlling my life too much too