Nature is incredibly soothing. I found peace at Loch Leven on the day of mum’s cremation, watching the wildlife made me realise that no matter how dark the days can be, there is a little bit of light and beauty to lift the soul. I am so sorry to see you are feeling down today. With dad and now with mum I feel that if grief could appear in human form I would give it a piece of my mind. Maybe a good punch but that would depend on my hormones at the time and how much chocolate I had consumed that day! I have to laugh otherwise I think the tears would fall and never stop. I hope the tennis has helped to sooth you. My sister and I have been watching Married at First Sight UK. Mum got addicted to the Australian one to the point we watched it with her when she was in hospital! It’s a good distraction from life and mum liked to pull them all to pieces! We are keeping it up for her
That made me laugh, we didn’t watch the programme but I’m sure my mum would have had something to say about it too! I’m off work today as I worked yesterday which I don’t normally do. My daughter is home for a fleeting visit and would like to go out to some nice gardens so I have an idea about one I visited with mum a while back. She struggled a bit then with getting round but I know there’s a cafe there too! Hoping I feel less precarious today and it will take my mind off things. Weather is dull but never mind.
I’m just at work now 
. Walking around some lovely gardens and visiting the cafe sounds like a great way to spend the day. And the way I look at it is, using the cafe helps to support the gardens, it would be rude not to help with funds!!
We helped out with some lunch and shared a sticky toffee pud! Gardens were so lovely, not large but beautifully colourful and well looked after. And the weather cheered up. Was a nice day out. Hope work was not too bad and the unpleasant person not there.
I love sticky toffee pud with lashings of cream! I’m not a fan of really lavish, fancy gardens, I enjoy the homely ones that we can replicate at home. My Almanac came today so I will be reading that on my days off. The horrible lady was in today so people kept out of our way. A manger has been off the last two weeks, I was telling her today how she has been, she offered to have a word with her. She is the type of woman though that would just be worse for being spoken to. She did offer to find out why she was being so nasty! I’m in at 5am tomorrow then I am off for three days.
I think it would be good if the mansger could speak to her at least, so she k ows it’s not ok to be like that. Bet you’re looking forward to your days off. Hopefully with something nice planned.
The manager came into work today and ignored my sister and I, goodness knows why. I was a bit annoyed as I said to her yesterday it’s got to the point if someone doesn’t speak we think it’s because we have done something. Over all it mean a pretty poopy day and hard because I don’t have my mum to talk to about it all. My sister finished before me and got some shopping and she said it made her upset because she always shopped with mum. We don’t really have any plans except shut ourselves away tomorrow to avoid the election and people in general. I much prefer animals
Yes, I think we’ve heard quite enough about the election
Nothing changes anyway.
Sorry you haven’t had the support at work.
I was waiting for the report from the hospital into mum’s treatment. It was due today after 60 working days but hasn’t arrived. When I looked back at the original letter it said if they don’t get back by then they will get back later on! A pretty useless answer and tells me they don’t value patients’ lives.
Hope you have a quiet day tomorrow and can unwind.
Oh no, that’s not good, do you think the hospital is stalling? Wouldn’t do any harm to chase them up, let them know you are not going to let them get away anything. Losing a parent is bad enough without complications. Let me know how you get on. I’m am going to bed tonight and not setting an alarm, I really need sleep!
Hi, I will chase them up. Also getting stalled over mum’s hospital records too which I’ve requested. Hope you got a good rest these next few days.
You have been through so much, having to deal with the hospital won’t be helping you. I am sending you a hug. My sister and I are showered but staying in our pyjamas today!
Thank you for the hug. We received some records and photos yesterday from the hospital but it’s going to take a long while to sign in and download as there are 500 documents apparently! I’m apprehensive seeing there are photos of bedsores etc which I don’t really want to see and threw me a bit. I had just expected written records.
Hope you can have a calm and refreshing couple of days. Are you off until Sunday?
The photos will be hard for you to look at, maybe read through the documents first. Are you going to build a case against the hospital? It will be a lot for you to take in and process, give yourself time as your grief is still so raw. You might find though that going through it and compiling a case will keep your mind busy. Like with dealing with my mums estate, I knew it was to do with my mum but it just felt like an admin task. Weird feeling. I got a last minute appointment today at the hairdressers. The stylist I usually go to is too expensive now we have mum’s share of the bills to pay. I emailed them yesterday and asked if their graduate was free. She is available today and is half the cost! I’m not sure if I’m ready to go and make small talk but my hair needs doing and I hope it will give me a boost. My sister and I sat in our pyjamas yesterday and tomorrow we are going to relax too. Work has been taxing this week
Hope you got a great haircut to give you a boost. Those sorts of things can help you feel better in yourself.
I think I will leave the documents to next week as I have to make an account and then download it all. My case against the hospital was through the Care Quality Commission but I don’t think they really take it much further. I will just get a response, probably fobbing me off. I don’t think I will take it further than that though as I want to draw a line under it at some point.
Hope you have a good weekend with your sister.
I was able to get my roots done to hide the grey and some highlights. I look more like my old self and feel a little more me, who me is going forward is unclear. I don’t think I’m ever going to be the same person. I’m angry at people and feel I got to say something to them. I was talking to my sister yesterday and she said she couldn’t have a go at anyone as she would feel bad afterwards. As for me I don’t care, they’ve hurt us at work and I don’t think I can let that go. When you read the documents next week it will give you clarity and you can see how you feel about it all and where you go from there. I’m here if you want to talk about it. I hope you are doing something nice over the weekend
Thanks, we are having an early birthday meal for my daughter tomorrow, as it’s her birthday next week but she will be away with her boyfriend then. It will be nice that my husband, son, daughter and I can go out and have a meal together.
Hope work colleagues don’t get to you when you go back. It’s so hard but not worth giving them the satisfaction.
Glad you’ve had a nice hair colour. I think it does feel like you’re a different person for some reason, after something like this. And I’m constantly thinking I must tell mum things when I’m out and about.
Hope you’re ok and also @Ulma and @Wanderers100
A family meal sounds like just what you need, togetherness. I hope there is a good dessert menu with something oozing with chocolate!
We got a letter yesterday from one of mum’s consultants. He said some really lovely things about mum. They were both from Liverpool as well as dad so they had similar personalities. I couldn’t bring myself to read it until today as my sister said it was hard to read. I needed to take it to my room, read it then have a cry. It was touching and also so kind that after 5 weeks he was thinking of us and took the time to write to us.
We planted some bedding plants in tubs today and got rid of the dandelions on the patio. The garden at the front looks a bit more cared for and we have shown the back a bit of love too. It was relaxing but I also thought of mum being out there with us so a little sad.
Here we are coming to the end of another week. Life isn’t great but at least we have got to another Sunday, whether we’ve crawled or walked our way through it, we’ve made it.
That’s lovely of the consultant. I really like Liverpool and quite often go for concerts or work. It has the feeling of an international city and the excitement of being by the river /sea. We did a river trip up the Mersey from Liverpool last year which was really good.
Our meal was nice, Japanese food cooked at the table. Just had some ice cream as I was so full after.
Have been downloading mum’s records which were sent to me. They are full of detail and yet don’t really reflect how poorly she was, and don’t tell the full reality. They are quite contradictory and run to hundreds of pages. I shall have to go through them gradually, and also wait to see what the result of my complaint is. It all seems fairly impossible to wade through. Hope you have a good day tomorrow. Concentrating on the nice things like the garden helps I think.
I was brought up in Devon but I am proud of my parent’s heritage. I have always strived to be like them: think of and care for others, welcome people into my home and be loyal. I am also fiery like my mum! I stand no messing from anyone and I am not afraid to say what needs to be said. My sister is like dad, very shy and quiet, doesn’t like to rock the boat unless someone hurts one of her own, then the claws come out!
I love Japanese food! Sushi and Mochi are particular favourites of mine. I would love to go to a place where the food is cooked at my table, sounds very exciting!
It looks like the hospital is trying to bog you down with paperwork. Either put you off going through it because there is so much of it or, they are hiding something in it and hope you will miss it. I wish I was nearer to you so that I could help you. Just read through it in little chunks so you can go through it with a fine tooth comb. It might be worth seeking legal advice if you are able. It all depends on how strong you are feeling though as things are still very raw. I am not sure how long you have in England to bring a medical negligence claim. Might be worth looking up so you will have an idea of how pressing it is to go through the documents. Keep me posted
Thanks, I will do. Felt down last night, reading again all that she went through and remembering it all in detail. Will take a good while to get through it. We are going to make some notes as we go through the document but that could take weeks.
My son and daughter both love sushi. Last night was teppanyaki so a bit different but delicious. I like mochi,though a bit difficult to eat, quite sticky! We were lucky enough to go to Korea when my daughter worked there and had some interesting eating experiences there.
Devon is a beautiful county. When I was young, and when my children were young, we used to go to the southwest often for holidays, Somerset, Dorset and Devon. All beautiful places.
I’m from Birmingham originally but live not too far from Manchester currently, which I’m not hugely keen on. I think I’m a mixture of shy and fiery, depending on the situation! My husband would probably say scary!