My partner passed away suddenly last week and I’ve just washed and ironed his clothes that were in the laundry and put them away as usual. I put his toothbrush and shaving things he had in hospital back in their place in the bathroom too…I can’t bear not to. I don’t want to change anything 
He worked from home and we were together 24/7. He was my best friend as well. Feel so lonely. I don’t drive and can’t for health reasons but we’d often go out to our ‘favourite’ spots on a whim, so feeling very isolated now. Feels like someones ripped my heart out.
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Hello Sal, I know just how you feel it took me ages to put things into charity bags. The things from the hospital which wasn’t used, I washed and gave away but it was so very hard. The one thing our sons helped with was his shoes which he left by the front door and they couldn’t stand to see and asked if they could put them in the dustbin, I couldn’t.
It’s the worst time in your life right now and you won’t be able to see any future but it does get easier, we learn to live with it. Everyone on here understands just how you are, we have or are in the same situation and we all feel for you. Don’t ever feel alone, we are all with you and I am sending big hugs and blessings to you. Take extra care just now because you are very vulnerable. S xx
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@SusieM
Thank you for your kindness in understanding. It’s the worse pain ever at the moment especially this time of year. His wrapped presents are still in the bottom of the wardrove too Hugs and blessings back x
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Are so sorry for you it’s a horrible time I’m in same situation can’t get rid of any of my dear husbands clothes and he died 4 months ago. He has so ma y clothes and so many brand new jeans jumpers coats and shoes it’s so sad. I go in wardrobes and can’t bare to part with anything. I’m frightend the longer time goes on with be harder to dispose of anything. . We all deal with things differently were all unique and we’re all on our own journey. Wish you love and luck xx
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Sorry for your loss,my husband passed away 12weeks ago I understand the pain grief brings sometimes I can hardly breathe,miss Steve so much
I have left everything just as he left it can’t see me ever being able to move anything
We are lighting candles at 7oclock Christmas eve in remembrance of our loved ones,will be thinking of all on here going through this heartbreaking time
Take care
Christine x
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I’m so sorry to read this Sal but you do what you want to do.
My Rachel was taken away suddenly 26 days ago, she was only 33. I’ve been in her flat numerous time since then and I’ve hoovered it, took her washing out, done her dishes and I think what is the point but I cant help it.
Take each hour as it comes sal, you’re in my thoughts
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10 months on - everything is as it was when he went out one evening and never came back. I don’t think it’s unusual for people to keep things as they were. Take care
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@Jules4 So sorry to hear that. I think part of me thinks he’s coming back. I was sorting and cleaning some of his things in his work room and thinking he’ll be pleased when he sees it . I saw him having cpr and his heart giving out but I still can’t accept he’s gone for ever 
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I think it’s normal to think that they’re coming back for a long time. Other people have said that to me. By the time me and my son went to find my husband it was too late. They had tried CPR and shocked him but to no avail. I didn’t see all of that but I also didn’t have chance to say goodbye.
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I read all these messages, and realise it’s a revolving thing , I am 19 months in, and it all sounds so familiar, it gets to be normal, the feeling of being lost, the what iffs, we adapt, we survive , but it’s never okay, it’s just, we’ll it’s just. To all , let’s get through this next hurdle, our loved ones, would want us to.
Take care.
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@PeteE59
It’s kind of comforting to know I’m not alone in the way I feel. I lost my soul mate and my rock so suddenly and right now it’s like a living hell and like you say getting through the next hurdle.
Take care too
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I am only a few months into this and feel lost but trying so hard to keep positive I think my husband would be proud of me. I miss him so much and never realized how many things he did for me especially at Christmas but boy he did. I’ve tackled them all on my own but missed him so much.
Next hurdle coming up soon but with my family I will get through it all. Best Wishes to you all xx
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Sal3 I’m so sorry for your loss, but you have to do what gets you through, my husband died in August, he went to bed as normal and that was it. His coat is still hanging on the hook and his uniform jacket on the back of the wardrobe, I have not washed it. I have thrown some of his clothes and shoes but those were ones he never wore or hardly wore. His favourite t shirts are still in the cupboard and his toothbrush still in the bathroom cabinet. His coffee cup is still in the kitchen cupboard, and I think always will be.
There is no right time or need to have to change anything, do what brings you comfort.
Take care Natasha x
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Don’t change a thing if you don’t want to.
It’s 7 weeks tomorrow since my fella fell to the floor and died in my kitchen completely out of the blue.
Everything is where he left it. Jeans over the dining room chairs, clothes over the chair in the bedroom. His shaving and toothbrush and contact lenses are still in place in the bathroom. His tobacco tray is still on the kitchen side with his rolling gear and tobacco in he bottom of the tray
I have no intention of moving any of this
Ever xx
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Ian passed away suddenly and unexpectedly 27 weeks ago, only seven weeks after his cancer diagnosis. Everything is as he left it, only his wheelchair and new slip on shoes have gone. The wheelchair because that isn’t who he was and the shoes because he usually wore trainers.
I can’t see me ever moving anything but everyone is different and what works for one person doesn’t for another.
Take care
X Julie x
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My husband passed away unexpectedly on 5th August. I too have washed and ironed his clothes and put them in his drawers. One thing I have done is picked a couple of pieces of clothing and had memory beats made for myself and grandchildren which everyone loved.
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I am really sorry l would be lying if l said it will be easy, because it will not, l wish l could explain how you will and have felt, for me it’s like someone took your heart out and broken it, and then put it back in and then it doesn’t work anymore, and it’s a year for me, you live with it, it’s in your head 24/7 . In the end you do accept it, and occasionally laugh, you eat, and sort out, life, l drive and to be honest l don,t do much different, driving on your own to somewhere on your own is no fun, if you have a family and they close to you, lean on them you need to, and they want to help wish l could say more to Comfort you x
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Hi Les
How right you are when you wrote that grief is in your head 24/7. Ian passed away suddenly and unexpectedly nearly 28 weeks ago now and I feel no different than on the day it happened. If anything, my grief is worse as I was in shock for several weeks, probably still am to be honest.
Take care of yourself,
X Julie
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Dear Sal, my heart goes out to you. I felt the same when my husband died in August 2017. It was a terrible time. I read your post and it reminded me of how I was back then. It took a long long time and lots of really bad days but eventually I felt myself getting through a day feeling slightly better than the day before. Be good to yourself. You will go through the mill but you need to have that time for grief. Don’t give up. Don’t try too hard. It will come right in its own good time.
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