Hi all,
I lost my husband 20weeks ago suddenly, I’m struggling to accept he is gone and to what happened to him after death does this sound silly? I keep asking myself questions will he still remember me when I die will I find him? Will he still look 44 ? Why am I doing/asking this to myself ? Anyone else doing or done the same ? Xx
Hi Sacar
I’ve asked myself the same. I’ve researched it a lot since I lost someone very close to me. The most comforting ‘thing’ I could find is this:
I believe that they’re there waiting for us, but that the the soul transcends the body. Age won’t be a thing, nor pain or suffering. Just peace, love and light.
Hi Sacar. I doubt any of us have not asked the same questions. But mostly they are unanswerable. I have no doubt, and it is very personal belief, that life does not end in death. There are realms and other dimensions that we are only just beginning to understand. Everything was always there before it was discovered. Light and radio waves travel unseen. They were always there before Marconi ‘discovered’ them. So it is, I believe, with spirituality and the progress of life. My thread ‘Psychic Phenomena’ raised over 100 posts, which goes to show how many have the experiences of another dimension. This has very little to do with religion, in fact religion can confuse the issue. It is not ‘silly’. Nothing in grief is silly. We behave the way we do and think the thoughts we do because our minds are in turmoil, especially in the early days. Clear thinking is gone for a while. As for being logical, that too disappears. The pain overrides everything, at least for a time. There does come a day when we realise that we need to live with the loss. But that day varies so much from person to person.
Never think you are ‘weird’ or in some way strange or different. You will find from the posts on here that everyone goes through with these never ending questions. Why, why?
Take care and be kind to yourself. John.
When my mum died I really did think too much about her death. And afterlife. Where did she go? I found it harrowing/incomprehensible that when I visited her at the chapel of rest and said her name. That she didn’t wake up. I could see her. So why wouldn’t she talk to me why couldn’t she wake up . A few hours before mum died I whispered to her. “Would you like to listen to some music”. She nodded then a few hours later she was gone. It haunts me in those Hours what was she thinking. As she slipped away. What did she feel. One last breath then no more. I still can’t make sense of it.
Sorry hope I haven’t upset anyone.
I don’t think you’ve upset anyone, I think we all think the same, we will forever wonder , we will all know the answer though at some point. x
Steph someone told me something so comforting about when we die. It’ll try and find it. It made so much sense
Hi jooles, I’m ok , we’ll as ok as can be, it was Tim’s birthday yesterday and got through it with a heavy heart.
I wish I could believe that there’s something when we die, but I feel there’s nothing, but that’s my opinion, need to see to believe.
How are you? And has your dad moved closer to you now . x
Birthdays are hard aren’t they. I found mums anniversary dreadful. I was glad when it was over.
My heart wants to believe in the afterlife. But my head like you needs to see the proof. I’ve had a bit of proof but it wasn’t conclusive.
Dads house buying process has been horrendous but 
He will be here end of November. He’s about to exchange contracts.
Hi Jooles. The more we ponder these questions the more confused we can get. Best left alone. I was as sceptical as the next man before I met my wife.
(Dinosaurs were still about then!!!) 
But with her being very psychic I soon began to study this strange phenomena called death. I soon understood that our bodies are energy. Without that energy we are no longer so called ‘alive’. Now the immutable laws of physics says that energy can’t be lost or destroyed, it changes into something else. So where does the energy go when we die?
I suggest it has to go somewhere or be transformed into some ‘thing’. Call it soul, spirit or what you will, it doesn’t matter. I am not talking about this idea of heaven or some sort of paradise. But maybe, just maybe, another place or another dimension of time which we have very little knowledge of, as yet. All my research pointed in one direction. To a place beyond our understanding. We think in earthly terms, and something has to be seen to be believed. Our five senses are totally inadequate to even begin to see beyond this life. We are so ingrained with the idea that if something has a beginning it must have an end. But does it? In the Book of Revelations it is said, ‘I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end’. So they are both the same! Neither exists in the meaning we have of them.
You will have guessed by now this is my chosen topic. My studies have left me in no doubt that something lies beyond this ‘vale of tears’.
Take care Jooles. John.
Moving is never easy, it’s such a headache, but I’m so pleased that he will be near you soon . x
Thank you John. I always love to hear your theories on it. In the afterlife. There is no beginning or end which is why time doesn’t exist. Our human brains can not comprehend it as we are not wired that way. There has to always be a start and finish. When my brain tries to understand infinity I get a weird scary panicky feeling.
Hi Jooles. So many get weird and panicky feelings when discussing these matters. Us humans fear the unknown, that’s why knowledge is such a powerful tool in situations like this. There is nothing to be afraid of. We are subjected to so much rubbish on TV and the like about the supernatural that it scares us because it’s nearly always portrayed as something evil.
You are so right. We are not wired to take in anything unusual. It’s why most people lead such mundane lives, they are afraid to explore. A mind that is open to new ideas is such an asset. Dismissing something out of hand because we have no knowledge of it is not good.
I have found that if I look at the night sky and the stars and realise that if the nearest one went out it would take four years before we knew. It puts things into a bit more of a perspective. We know so little about the universe yet have the cheek to assume we know all about life and death. We are a funny old lot us humans. Blessings. Jooles.
@CatP21 Thank you for posting this. My darling John had a number 1. The choice of most of us. A sudden death with no warning. His face was so peaceful and calm at the moment of his death. I couldn’t ask for more than that could I if I had to let him go. 
When my husband died suddenly nearly a year ago quite a few people, although deeply shocked, said oh that’s the best way to go. Some even said that’s how they wished to go. They weren’t there and they didn’t see what happened. I disagree, as do our sons particularly our younger son who was with him and witnessed his death. Traumatic doesn’t even begin to describe it.
@Jobar
Sorry if I was insensitive. You and your family obviously had a completely different experience. With John I was in bed and he went to the bathroom and I heard him being sick. He didn’t say he felt unwell. I heard a little thump and got up. He had died instantly and I lifted his face in my hands and he had not the slightest sign of pain, fear or surprise. He was not ill, we had had a wonderful day. He was gone in a second. A light being switched off. That’s a number 1 to me.
Dear johnswife, thank you. I am very sensitive to how my husband died. I also don’t underestimate the shock you suffered on finding your husband in the bathroom. I appreciate that you would have hated seeing him suffer and you are grateful he was peaceful when you found him.
The doctor on the video clip who divided the dying experience into four categories gave too simplistic a picture and I admit I was upset by his description of sudden death. It is so much more complex as we have all sadly found out.
@Jobar Thank you. Of course my experience of John’s death was very different to his! I will never recover from losing him.