Thank you so much dear Seasurge & when you do decide, I am here for you too xxx
Dear Billslove,
I hope everything is calm for you when you scatter your husbandās ashes. It is so lovely that your husband will go to his favourite place. That is the very best thing you can do for him. I have set an alarm for 1530 and will be thinking of you both then. I think youāll find that many of your SR friends will be doing that.
If itās any help, when my husbandās ashes were buried, I felt a real sense of calm come over me. I hope that happens to you. Hugs, Ann x
Thank you dear Ann, Itās so comforting to know that the people who, sadly understand the most will be with me in spirit, you are so kind to do that.
I am in torment today & you have given me hope for peace xx
I will be thinking of you at 15:30.
Karen has also choosen to be scattered at one of her favourite beaches, which is a task I have delayed until next year
Thank you Richard, l will be with you too when the time comes. We are all together in our pain xxx
I will be thinking of you at 15.30 Billslove. Getting my darlings ashes broke me I 2 cried and cried for days. Iv kept some back to get incorporated into a piece of jewellery which I will do after Xmas. My husband was a staunch Rangers fan so our son will take his ashes at some point next year to scatter at his beloved Ibrox kniw this would be his wish. I till then I will keep him home with me and continue to berate him for leaving me 
I know it will be so hard for you and your in my thoughts . Much love on this hard day xxxx
Thank you Mazz,
Itās incredibly hard to cope with isnāt it. I just cannot imagine a life without him. It just feels like torture xx
It is torture . Every minute of every day is unbelievably hard . The smallest things seem to break me when Iām normally so strong . Losing my Stu has taken every bit of confidence and empathy even from me. Do you feel the same? People try to talk to me and I want to shout just go away leave me be 
. Iām not normal any more why are you even asking me if Iām interested because at the moment Iām not. Iām just taking small steps hour by hour to get through another day of grief so I can curl up in bed and cry.
Iām hoping your ok with scattering your beloveds ashes xx
Yes, half of me is gone & all the joy, the happiness. Like you itās just little steps. I hate going to bed & hate waking up even more. Xxxx
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Mazz, Billslove and all of my friends joined in sadness,
Your words and thoughts echo mine all the time, every day.
The pain, hurt and loss are exhausting and I cannot see any point at which that will change. Ours lives have been stolen from us and our loved ones too soon.
I am with you all today and every day on this horrible journey. Let go and cry out the grief as I do.
Take care everyone. Thinking of you at 3.30. X
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I think Iām losing the plot . I stopped smoking around 12 years ago . Since I lost my husband 5 weeks ago Iv started using one of them vape things . I just needed something with the shock . Iām not happy with myself but needs must. Iv just been filling it up and Stu voice popped into my head telling me to stop using it ( when did I ever do as you say stu) . I replied to his picture I will stop when Iām ready to stop I promise you . Oh I miss him so so much
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Itās 1530 and as promised, I am thinking of you. Hope you are coping. You will get through this with the help of everyone who cares for you, and that includes your friends on here. Hugs and empathy, Ann x
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I thought of you too Billslove and my heart goes out to you.
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Me to Billslove . Hope you feel at peace xx
Heartfelt thankyou to you all, special new friends United in our struggle to get through this. It helped so much sharing on here
I am here for you all as well xxx
That is so me too x x I am.buildng strength but never felt so vulnerable and intolerant x x
My Ste, keeps telling me to play my guitar and pour myself a drink lol x Iām kind of I will.whwn Iām ready lol
I still have this to come, not sure what I am going to do at the time x x
I found the anticipation of getting his ashes worse. Once we were on the beach with them, I just kept telling myself that it wasnāt him, that he had gone, which is what he believed as well. I havenāt cried a lot, itās just been a deep pain inside but today itās like reality really hit home, cried a lot & that feeling of abject terror. It is now 7 weeks,
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I really feel for you Billslove. Sometimes the delayed reaction of doing something traumatic, like scattering the ashes, kicks in later, as it has done with you.
So sorry you are feeling so bad today.
The deep pain inside is the feeling we carry with us all day, every day, so I am sharing that with you. Itās exhausting and only disappears when you are asleep.
Crying is a release but sometimes, that too is physically exhausting.
Itās all so very, very hard.
I also feel that if anyone talks to you about other things, inside you are in anguish because they donāt understand what exactly is happening to you and how terrifying everything looks without your loved one.
All we can take are small steps. I think we are on a very long journey. I hope and pray that some days will be less harsh than these past ten weeks have been. There is only so much that your mind and body can take.
I am thinking of you and sharing your burden as you are sharing mine. X
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