Not sure if this helps, probably not
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The song is very beautiful. I love listening to music. I think it is helpful.
I wish could turn the clock back. I reread my diaries because I recorded what we did. Also took photos. It is as if my cat knows. She is company but she is very clingy and now she won’t leave me alone. Would be worse without her. Be nice to have a dog and they are such company but I love the birds too. My plants are kinda important too. Mowed grass yesterday and he always used to and found it a bit of a struggle. It is the second time since he died. I got someone else to do it at first. Before he died he said will have to buy a mower so did. I did t pack it away properly as there is the back one to do too so seemed pointless so will have a go. Made me worn out but then had replanted zone big shrubs. Been trying to keep it ok. He used to keep cupboards tidy and I struggle. Just do best I can. Lost the cheese grater and it never turned up. I bought a new one. Bet I put it somewhere stupid in my early days without him. He would have taken everything out and out it back very orderly.
But it used to irritate me at the time but I can see sense in it now. But don’t do it to please him now. Say well I will just put it where it is handy for me. I bought more knives and forks as it isn’t worth keep trying to manage with a few because I like to have enough when my son and grandchildren have come. Little things. I can’t lift heavy shopping basket high in to counter. I feel awful having to explain that it is too heavy. I think I am such a wimp. Shopping is awkward. Miss him so much. He stocked up before he died. Prices so much more expensive.
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@Enorac
You sound to be doing AMAZINGLY so don’t berate yourself for things you find difficult. We are who we are with weaknesses and strengths. We can adopt other’s ideas if they suit us but keep our own if that works better. That’s life and learning. You are most certainly NOT a wimp.
It sounds as if nature is a tonic for you so enjoy that when you can. I have just been looking at bug houses to put on a wish list for my birthday in May. I want to beautify different parts of the garden as I will be at home instead of holidays more I think.
Hugs
Karen xxx
Karen
Other people say doing well but my son doesn’t. That is problem. Thank you for encouragement.
Today I keep reading this novel in between as it is distracting. I planted a few more seeds today. Made a mess but it helped to think well new life will pop up. Yes nature is a balm. Bought myself bunch daffs other day and cheers me up when they open up.
Been writing in my journal today about how it is. Gets it off my chest. I still haven’t got to the supermarket today and instead seeing what I need as I realised I have been doubling up on some things and forgetting I have done so. I spoke to a friend from school and she was chatting on as her husband died many years ago and she said she forgot how she felt at first but struggling with spare time alone so she does something about it and doing a puzzle with person left alone next door. Well I don’t feel confident enough to do that. I used to years ago with an old widower next door but I wasn’t lonely then just he was. Had more confidence then.
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