Just checking in, Saturday is always hard, 10 weeks today that James died. I agree, James wouldn’t want everyone to cry.
One of his friends told me he believed in the afterlife, so I want to hold on to the thought that I will see him and Nicole one day.
Life feels so pointless now, I didn’t realise how much being James’s mum underpinned who I am…
Look after yourselves beautiful mums, thinking of you all xxx
I also believe in afterlife,i take comfort knowing my sons in a happy place and is at peace x
My son is also called James. He’s been gone 9 weeks tomorrow 
. Still finding it hard to process even after the funeral and I have his ashes here with me. Just so surreal at times but like you I believe I will see him again 
. Sending love and hugs to you all 
So sorry Anne, it’s really hard. I can’t face collecting James’s ashes. Our funeral director has them in a nice wooden box in their chapel, next to my dad’s ( who died on Christmas Day).
The pain is unbearable, and yet we still get up each day and get through somehow.
Thinking of you xxx
Broken- I’ve just ordered a book to read about the afterlife, I’m really curious and want to believe, we have a Spiritual Church close by, so I am going to go, not yet, but maybe later this year, to find out a bit more about them xxxx
I go to a spiritulist church and it brings me peace and comfort,its not for everybody but i strongly believe x
I do also believe in the afterlife and one of my close friends now is a medium who i met when i had a reading 2 months after aaron died.i had a other reading on wed and everything she said to me only me a nd aaron knew. I know hes so happy now doing all the things he loved doing but i just cant accept that hes not here but then its only 7 months and everything is so raw xxx
I also have a friend whose a medium and she has helped kials friends who have been struggling to accepts gone.She has been fantastic with myself my husband and my daughter x
I wasn’t going to have my James’ ashes here but I had a bit of a meltdown and collected them Wednesday. I had to go to the cemetery today to see where his final resting place will be… just so surreal. I still think at times he’s going to text me to let me know he’s on his way home from work. I’m sorry to hear about your dad:heart:. My dad would have been 72 tomorrow 
. Thinking of you too XX
Thank you for sharing, it gives me hope. I’d thought of seeing a medium, not yet, maybe later in the year, but maybe a spiritualist church holds less than expectations for me, as any contacts are more likely to be for another member of the congregation.
I did go to a small event with a medium and my sister had a sign very specific to one of her friends.
I’m glad you believe xxx
Thank you Anne, my dad was 90 and had advanced Alzheimer’s disease, he lead a really happy life, working in gardening retail, and gardening was his and mum’s passion/obsession. He didn’t earn a lot but I think he had the right idea about life xxxx
Your dad certainly sounds like he enjoyed life and he had his dream job Why do something you don’t enjoy just because it pays more. I only started getting into gardening a few years ago and I wish I’d started sooner…it still looks a mess but I’m learning XX
So sorry to hear about your son James sending so much love a d strength to you we are all on this terrible journey together and just finding that strength to get through each day is such an enormous task. As with every single one of us noone thought that this would ever ever happen and it is just taking that one step at a time and they are such painful steps xxxx
Thank you xx I always worried about him working away and when he was out and thanked God when he replied to my messages or came home safely. This is just like a nightmare you can’t wake up from. I keep asking him for signs he’s still around me… I’m sure we all do xxx
I used to check Neil’s watts app every day to check he had been online , if he hadn’t I’d send a random message which required a reply , I don’t think he noticed but it gave me reassurance he was ok . He lived on a boat on the rivers so I was always worried as it could be isolated spots he moored in . As it was he was always safe there it was a holiday abroad and a deranged stranger ending his life so tragically . So no matter how hard we tried they had to live their lives their way . The world can be an unkind place sometimes but for me I’ll always be eternally grateful I was his mum and always will be , I hope you are all having the best Sunday you can . I’m so glad I found this group and the support from others who know exactly how I feel . Xxx
I said in James’s eulogy that if he was only supposed to be on this earth for 28 years, I was so glad he was my son and we spent them together.
He’d had a really close call last October, and choked on a piece of fruit- the paramedics managed to dislodge it, but it makes me wonder if that is what happened when he died, only we were asleep so didn’t hear anything,
Take care, all of you, sending my love xxx
My heart goes out to you . I see news reports of children being taken from their families in that way and my heart breaks for them. This world is indeed cruel at times.
I used to check when James was last online…no matter how old they were we never stopped worrying about them.
I had 25 years with him and I have a lifetime of memories of him. After my dad and brother passed away he’d tell me he didn’t want anyone crying over him if anything happened to him. I’d tell him not to talk that way as I would go before he did. 9 weeks today since I lost him and my dad’s 2nd birthday since he passed.
I hope you all have a blessed Sunday. Hugs to you all Xxx
Had my grandson overnight last night Aaron’s son. He asked me to gonand get him from heaven a d he would give up all his toys its just so painful and ny heart is breaking constantly its breakdown sunday i hate sundays he died on a sunday i just want to cry all day xxxxx
That must be so hard Sue , but it’s lovely his son talks about him to you and you’ll be able to keep his memories of his daddy fresh in his mind so he will always remember him . Sadly Neil had no children but we tell his nieces and nephews tales of his life all the time so they don’t forget him . Neil also died on a Sunday , I find it a difficult day . I just need to keep myself busy x
Yes thats what ive been doing today inbetween breakdowns. Im going down to see aaron soon and lightchis,candles for overnight. Im struggling to accept this is real as with everyone else ive had 3 feathers today that just come out of nowhere so ive put them in my little box with the others. Thankyou for your message cherish realky means alot xxxxx