I’m glad you have found them helpful and have the support of someone who knows just what you’re going through- and you will be there for your daughter when she’s ready to talk 
.
Sending love to you both XXx
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Loved this so much and yes so very true xxxx
I also message my son daily
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That is amazing,what a talented young man x
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Going to have an early night tonight brought a projector that lights up the whole room with stars and moon that actually calms my mind and sends me off to sleep. Not sleeping brilliantly Aaron’s always on my mind and have a 12 and half hour nightshift tomorrow night. Jamiesmum hope everything goes ok for you tomorrow as it can be. I also send WhatsApp messages to aaron and send him pictures of his children. Sending love to all xxxx
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Hi all
Im really struggling, people keep saying to me I must feel better becase the sun is shining!
If anything I feel worse, its breaking my heart that he will never see the sun again or the sky or hear the birds.
I can’t cope, I’m crying all the time.
I’m due at work soon, i look a fright with my puffy eyes lol.
Somehow, we carry on,taking the love we have for them inside our hearts.
Thinking of you all, sending much love.
Penny xxxx
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Hi penny i am as well and due to go to work soon myself .ive just got out of bed again been having my breakdown and been crying so much as well.,the sun shining for us dosnt make a blind bit of difference for us on this horrific journey i could easily not go to work and just go to bed again. The only thing that telks me to do it is for aaron .im on a strong dose of antidepressants as it is i feel anxious and extremely low all the time. So i completely understand how you feel because i feel exactly tbe same .sending love and strength xxxxxx
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Aw , thanks so much for that. Whilst I’m so sorry you are on this journey from hell, it is strangely comforting to know someone understands.
Thanks so much for your response Sue3p, means a lot.
Love to all xxxxxx
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Yes penny i feel exactly the same even though not one of us want to go through this horrific darkness. Hope your shift goes ok!! Sending love to everyone xxxxx
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Hi all,
I just wanted to share something that I’ve never talked about since my son’s passing,a so called friend and work colleague of 8 years who came to my son’s funeral didn’t contact me for over 6 months after and so I sent her a message asking why she hadn’t been in touch with me for so long and the response rocked my entire world.
“It’s not all about you Jayne,thing’s are happening in everyone’s lives,”
Just unimaginable!!
I was devastated but realised then that no one understands unless they have been through the same trauma and loss that we have endured.
Love to you all,
Jayne x
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Hi jayne i pretty much think thats happened to most of us as well that i keep asking my counsellor why they have done that and yes it hurts so much. There is no compassion anymore and only the people that are going through this completely understand how we all feel. Being abandoned like that has left me anxious alone and my confidence shattered so i totally understand exactly how you feel .sending love to everyone xxxxx
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That’s really insensitive of her. Yes everyone has something happening but the loss of a child is the worst thing that could happen and we won’t get over it in a few months. I hope you’re ok Jayne and sending love to everyone XX
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Ive also had a friend who has distanced themself.Ive got enough on my plate without their friendship.Its true what they say about you find out who your true friends are
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My husband had a friend who actually said via text “ I’m not listening to your whining”. Needless to say he’s an ex- friend now. It’s so hurtful, but I suppose we’re better off without people like them in our lives - I’m wondering if they are the “ emotional vampire “ type of person, so once we’re not able to listen and support them, they don’t get what they need from the friendship? Just a thought…
Work felt better than I expected, our team has a new senior manager, and she was really kind. I’m not seeing patients just yet, I think that’s going to be the hardest bit, but I’ll know if I can continue in this role then. Thank you for your support lovely ladies, look after yourselves today, thinking of you all xxxxx
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So glad the work went smoothly. That’s a big hurdle you’ve crossed . One day at a time . You should be proud of yourself as I’m sure Jamie would have been proud.
My friend lost her daughter to cancer 14 months ago then 8 weeks later her husband to Sepsis . I was there for her throughout even taking her on holiday . I hadn’t lost my mum and Neil then but I hope she knew I’d given her as much support and love as I could muster . Then my life changed around and she was supporting me .
I have to admit supporting her was difficult when I couldn’t even begin to know what she was going through and at times it was so hard when her every thought and conversation retorted back to her devastating losses , so I fully understand why friends can shy away , it’s one of the hardest tests of a friendship. She now says to saved her as she didn’t want to live but she’s slowly starting to enjoy life again .
Try not to be too hard on friends as it eats at us and makes an already awful situation worse .
I’m trying to focus on those who are there for me and leaving the door open for those in my life struggling- I don’t think we can ever understand how they have reacted as we are all so different and death affects us all in a different way . Sending huge hugs to all you mums - they will always be our babies , and we will forever be their mums xx
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Good morning all.
People say the most ridiculous and insensitive things. I don’t know if they necessarily mean to be hurtful or if they are just stupid lol! I now just say to myself ‘let them’ when anyone says something that upsets me. It’s kind of liberating.
I’ve stopped expecting people to understand because they just don’t. We are already as hurt and broken as it is possible to be so if you can, just gently walk away from negative friends, family or colleagues. It sounds hard but it will free you from additional pain, we have enough to do just trying to get through each day.
Sending you all much love and strength, be kind to yourself, perhaps this will help us heal a little bit xxxxxx
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You’re right Cherish, I think some people are naturally empathetic. My closest friend virtually moved in and fed us after James died, and we had others bringing food or popping in regularly.
A lot of people said they didn’t know what to say, but I said just being here is what we need. There just are no words that can express the pain of losing a child or someone close to you.
I’m glad to have joined this forum, it stops my head from exploding xxxxx
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Wow, I cannot believe your now ex friend was so rude! You do not need that person in your life. Others who’ve never lost a child truly don’t get our pain, it’s all consuming.
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That’s just awful, that she would say that to you. I had 2 friends of 30+ years just ghost me when I let them know Thomas had passed, all that time and they couldn’t step up when I needed them.
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