My daughter in laws mother has been saying negative things about her after she took her life and I’m not sure why she needs to do that now. She’s saying she lied about losing access to her son and she lost her job because she abandoned it. Maybe she is trying to alter my view or show me there’s a side of my daughter in law that I didn’t know of. I don’t need this negativity, it serves no purpose now. She adored my son and he adored her back, that’s all that’s important now for me. To know they gave each other those 5 years of absolute love makes me happy, I wish it had been more but life is cruel. I hope Thomas came and got her and they’re together for eternity now.
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What a gift your son had!
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Beautiful words xx
That’s so sad Lcc, your daughter in law must have been in such pain. I’m sorry you have to hear these comments, none of us are perfect, and it isn’t helpful to speak about someone when they can no longer defend themselves.
I think being kind to people is the only option. Nobody knows what is happening in their lives so she shouldn’t judge.
You keep your lovely memories of the two of them together 
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He was very talented but more than that he was a good human being and I’ll forever be proud of him x
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I think ive becone pretty much of a loner now and learnt some very hard lessons that alot of peoole in this world simply dont have the hearts tbat we all have. Ive accepted that is me now and all them people/friends/family are just not worth my time or ny love anymore as much as it realky has hurt me .i would probably say ive got trust issues now and yet i would have done anything for either one of them .if there is one thing im completely secure with is being on here and to feel that everyone of you is with me and each other every step of the way. Ive fell out with magpies now im ao sick of seeing just one!! I drove by from work the other morning and told it to f… off!!! My daughter just laughed .sending love to each and everyone of you off for a,sleep before nightshift tonight xxxxxxx
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Been thinking so much as well about by mother wondering if aaron is with her. She died at 55 17 years ago another beautiful person that was taken away from me. And barrys mum passed away 1 year ago as well we still didnt sort her ashes out but we are tree planting for her this friday at the cemetery very close to aaron. So last year was more than shit!!! Xxxxx
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Poor little magpies , look for robins and now the springs almost here butterfly’s . neil loved the colour yellow and all I can see are daffodils everywhere when they’ve gone I’m going to plant sunflowers , I’m trying to see the good in life rather than the negative but it’s not easy , one thing my eldest said was “ rely on no one , the only person 100% true to you is yourself “ for now that’s my mantra . Im an empath though so I know that’ll slowly change but for now I’ll keep doing the small things no master how small that will make me smile xx
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I hope my dad and James are together, my dad died 9 days after James, so I hope they’re looking after each other. I really pray Nicole and James are reunited, and have the happy ever after they were denied in life.
I’ve been trying so hard to look for the positive, but it’s early days, so I’m not aiming high.
Thinking of you all xxxx
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I have lost so many loved ones in my life but the loss of my boy is unbearable. It’s a different sort of pain, heartbreaking, literally.
I don’t know how to go on without him, not sure I even want to.
Another night on my own, crying. I sound pathetic even to myself. How do people bear the sadness every day?
I agree with all your comments, we are different people now x
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So sorry you’re on your own Penny, it’s so hard and the pain is unbearable. It leaves you unable to breathe and feeling on the verge of a panic attack some days. I hope that knowing you’re not the only one going through this terrible experience and we understand how you feel, helps you a little bit. It’s just so sad that we’ve all found ourselves here because we’ve lost our beautiful boys. Sending you love, and thinking of you, and all you mum’s on here xxxxx
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I saw someone I. The doctors today who didn’t know about neil and asked how my boys were . I got really upset . I think the doctor worried I’d been crying over my arthritic leg . Truth is I haven’t even told the doctor yet as I never see the same one twice . Sure feels a lonely road . Sending love to all of you in our little group and hoping for a better day tomorrow xx
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We dont bare the sadness,everyday is a stuggle,every bedtime is painful,every morning is a reminder,memorys are sad,lonliness is excrutiating but we seem to struggle through another day somehow 
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Hi All,
Forever lonely and missing our beloved sons,
That will never change.
We just have to adjust our lives and our expectations to accommodate our loss.
Love to you all,
Jayne x
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When i wake up in the norning aarons on ny mind all day every day. I miss and love him so much and yes i feel so lost and lonely without him the same as we all do. Im st work now on a nightshift and he is constantly on my mind .i go to the chapel tbrough the night and pray for him and talk to him .sending love and strength to everyone xxxxxx
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My only friend is on a ward that i used to work on pallative and respiratory. She had now been diagnosed with lung cancer yesyerday and is very very poorly. She lost her son billy 5 years ago he was 17 and hung himself i net maxine down at the cemetery as billy is very close to Aaron. Maxine understands what i was going tbrough and had seen me in appauling states snd now i feel like im going to lose her too. I e been up to see her 3 times tonight and every time she looks worse. Its decision day for her today if she wabts chemo but i have a feeling now she has lost that fight and that will as with losing her billy it destroyed her and everyday for 5 years she has been at his graveside xxxxx
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So sorry for you and for your friend Maxine . I hope she can find the strength to have some treatment but if not I’m sure seeing you will be helping her enormously. I woke up thinking of Neil as is the same with each new day . I’ve just read our entire watts app thread filled with easy chat and photos . It seems to be therapeutic to me and I talk to his pictures on my phone . I look at his sweet eyes and can’t believe I’ll never ever see them again for 37 years I saw those eyes . Happy sad tired poorly wide and showing every life emotion they were the exact colour of mine ( and his sisters) . Life feels so unfair at the moment and I don’t like my life story anymore . Guess I’ll just have to plough on to the last chapter hoping the story gets easier . The problem is I know it won’t . Sorry for my crazy rant I know we all feel the same and on here is the only place I can open up knowing you all understand xxx
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Oh Sue, I’m really sorry about your lovely friend. Life is so unfair, it feels like the good people suffer the most.
It feels to me that the rest of my life is going to be waiting it out until I can be with James, and it’s a sad grey world without him.
I hope there will be a light at the end of the tunnel but I’ve lost any sense of optimism, it’s a case of getting through each day.
I hope Maxine is comfortable and not in pain, she’s lucky to have you as a friend xxxx
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Hi
Sue, so sorry about your friend, heartbreaking.
Im sending love to you all. It’s my first Mother’s day without my Kev. He used to make such a fuss of me. I will never have anyone who loved me as much as he did. I was so blessed xxx
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Me 2 penny im hoping hes going to come tomorrow and send me a,sign that hes around me. My friend not good at all hufe mass on her lungs and been for ct head and abdomen to see if its spread. Im working tonight so i keep nipping up to see her .im devastating about losing my Aaron and now looks like im losing the only person who got me when aaron died 
im therr for her just like shes there for me xxxxxx
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