I’m so sorry, so very hard for you.
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@Myboymatthew my heart goes out to you. It’s an awful thing losing your child and we are all carrying a pain so deep that only others in our situation understand. I know I will never be the same, my beautiful boy is forever 35. Sending love to you x
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Im so sorry you lost your lovely boy. It is indeed unbearable, yet somehow we bear it. This time of year is so, so sad. I honestly don’t begrudge my friends their happiness but you just feel so lonely. The pain is too much sometimes. I find myself in a shop and see something he used to like and it breaks my heart. Im scared that the rest of my life is just going to be this sad. My thoughts are with you all. Sending love and strength xxxxxxx
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You did better than I managed at my daughter’s funeral. I had to ask a friend to do it for me. You read the eulogy and you were there for your boy. That shows courage in one of the worst moments any mum could face. You were focusing on your love for your boy and thats what counts. Xxxxx
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@Nell2 That is very kind of you to say that, I didn’t think I’d be able to give the eulogy but my daughter in law stood with me and was ready to step in and I think that helped. It’s a very hard and lonely road we are all taking and we will all take a different route to get through it. I personally think I will never get to the end, it’s too hard and I’m okay with that xx
I don’t think we do ever ‘get over it’. We can, over time, learn to ‘live with it’.
It’s a life long journey. It’s almost 2 years since my girl died. It’s a thread that runs through me every day. I still have bad days and I accept them and they pass. For me, and we’re all different, i feel like I’ve had to learn to sort of multifunction emotionally. I’m able to function and even have some good times, and at the same time hold my girl in my heart. Someone on here said ‘we hold them in our hearts pocket’. That’s what I manage to do most days. On the bad days I just keep on keeping on. Xmas is hard and I tell myself it’s just a day. I light the candle on Xmas eve with thousands of people across the country. Over time I noticed what I call chinks of light. Moments when I’m absorbed by something I’m doing. I grab them and appreciate them. I still struggle with feeling that not thinking about her 24/7 is in some way letting her down. It’s a feeling tho and not a fact. All of us mums and dads on here still love our kids. We are still their mum or dad and they are still our children. That won’t change. It’s forever love. None of us wanted to lose our kids and we all still love them. Sometimes it’s enough to keep on keeping on on the bad days. Grab the moments of peace and build on them. They are fleeting at first. First one I ever had was when I was washing up and realised I was thinking of something else for a few minutes. I felt guilty about even that but a close friend said it really is ok to have some peace, even if briefly. Coming on here has helped me and also Compassionate Friends. It feels like an isolating experience, and it is. There are other who’ve experienced the same loss and will walk with us. Xxxxx
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Hi Nell2 just read your message how lovely.Its 2 years in March since I lost my son my late husband and mine only child. All the things you say are so true.Sadly life can be so crap too Tues lost my best friend suddenly.We met at school when we were 11.Her and my son were great mates as they liked to discuss the horses together and have a little bet.It was also through her I met my beloved husband.They are together now with other family and friends looking over me.Feeling lost at the moment to put it mildly.But will carry on as best I can for all their sakes
Love and best wishes to you all xxxx
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A year ago today I flew out to California to spend Christmas with my son and his family then he would go into hospital on Boxing Day for his latest open heart surgery. I was going to help nurse him through his recovery as I’d done before. We were so sure he would recover, he had a heart that just kept going. If I’d known what would happen I would’ve hugged him so tight, told him how proud of him I was and how lucky I was to have him as my son 
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Hi everyone, my one wish is for you all to navigate Christmas as best you can. It will be my first without my son and I cry at the thought of him not celebrating in his families matching pyjamas, showing me how he and his wife had spolt, in a good way, their son. His brothers will miss him, they were a tight trio growing up. I’ve written a letter for Thomas and it’s next to his urn then I’ll put it in his memory box. I will light a special candle for Thomas and set him a place at our table and remember how much he means to us all. Love to you all 
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Im at work today my choice its only been a month since i lost my son i visited his grave at 6.30am before i went to work put a christmas wreath on i dont want to be at home today 
i miss him so much
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Hello everyone,
I lost my 24 years old son due to cancer and it happened so suddenly that I am still in shock.My GP is useless and he never sent my son for blood tests, even when I asked the GP to send him for blood test, he said , he is a a healthy young boy.I wish if he would have sent him so they can see his infection markers are high and would have diagnosed cancer earlier .I have a daughter who moved out with her partner and I am just as alone as home
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We have just lost our Son on the operating table. 4 weeks ago. The worse part it not having been with him. Was he scared? He was 54 years old but he was still our baby. Its making my husband so sad. Christmas will never be the same.
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Oh my goodness Lynnylou how awful for you.II am a widow but lost our only son last year unexpectedly while in hospital.He was 51 but yes still my baby
.My heart is broken.My love and hugs to you and hubby xxx
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I am so sorry for you. We lost our son on the 17th July aged 47 from secondary bone cancer.He had no symptoms until he got pains in his hips and spine,that was on the 25th April 2023.secondary bone cancer, they could not find primary.nThey think it was a small 20mm ulcer in the stomach,that was not blocking any of the ducts hence not giving any symptoms.But like you wondering why it spread so fast.God bless you and wish you all the best
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It’s so painful isn’t it, no one knows how it hurts unless they’ve been through it. It’s totally heartbreaking
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I lost my son while he was recovering from heart surgery, totally unexpected, he’d recovered well after previous surgery. It’s devastated us, it’s still incomprehensible that he’s not here. My 35 year old son who made everyone smile, his future taken away from him. I stumble along as best I can but my heart will never mend.
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I’m sorry you’ve lost your beautiful son. We here are all united in our grief, our children taken too soon. I wish I’d pushed harder when he was struggling to breath even on the ventilator but I think the ‘what if’s’ don’t help us. I’ve offered to swap places with him, offered my life, do anything, all in the hope that someone can bring him back but I’m kidding myself.
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I am sorry to hear of your lost, my son was 47 when he died of secondary cancer. Because he had epilepsy and under active thyroid he had regular blood test , it was only the last one that showed elevated liver function . He was due to have another one on the day he was taken into hospital . I found out that a elevated liver function shows up if any thing is wrong with liver or bones. He is liver was ok,but he had masses on his hip and spine,secondary bone cancer. They could not find primary, nothing showed up on the scans only the bone masses.It was not until a couple of days before he died that they found a 20mm ulcer in the stomach. It was on the lesser curve and was not blocking any bile ducts ,that is why he never had any symptoms. If the cancer was in the stomach or the pancreas it can have no symptoms until it had spread . In my son case it was rare it had spread to the bone .
Oh, I’m so sorry for all of us, the pain is unimaginable. I worked at a homeless shelter yesterday. I couldn’t bear to be at home without my boy. I love him so much and miss him every second of the day. I hope you all find some peace. Im sending live and hope xxxxx
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Love sorry