Struggling with the loss of my adult son

Beautiful messages. Thankyou all.:broken_heart:

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Ghaz

Im so sorry, I know how you feel. My lovely boy went into hospital with pneumonia, two weeks later he was dead from lung cancer. I still cant believe it. Been crying all day today. Miss him so much. Take care if yourself. I’m here for you xxxxx

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Hi everyone
I got through Christmas and Boxing Day, having my sons here helped but this afternoon I just crumbled. I will now relive every moment of my son’s surgery and recovery for 27 days, leading up to his passing on 24th january this year. It feels like the worst torture, I can’t bear the thought of each day waking up and remembering what happened on that day one year ago. Just when you think your heart can’t break anymore some memory pops up and floors you.

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Our son died on the operating table due to cardiac arrest. But he had diabetic sepsis. He was already an amputee due to diabetes but had recovered well from that. Unfortunatley he got sepsis in his other foot. The prognosis was dire. But it was a terrible shock.

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@Lynnylou my son had diabetes too! Sepsis crept up and took him so quickly, the surgery had gone so well but then he caught mrsa and pneumonia. I will never get over the pain, my son was such a happy boy (I say boy as he was a sweet 5 year old trapped in an adults body). We love them so much that grief we feel for them is enormous.

Life is so hard , I can only remind ourself we were chosen to give love to these very special children. The laughter and love they gave us , my son like yours had moderate learning disability, but he was always joking and through the pain so Brave.

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That’s what I’m trying to do - think that if Jamie was only meant to be with us for 28 years, we were so lucky that he was in our lives.

It is just so hard: a physical pain and although having friends around us has helped such a lot, hour by hour, I can’t believe I’ll never see my beautiful son again, or have a giggle at one of our silly jokes, or hug him.

My dad died on Christmas Day which was expected but trying to support mum as well is very difficult.

Sending love to all of you on this thread, xxx

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@Pest Thomas didn’t have a learning disability, he was a very gentle soul, never lost his temper or said a bad word and made people laugh whenever he could. So many people turned out for his funeral that they were standing in the halls and doors were opened so they could hear it in the car park. It showed how much they loved him. He loved any excuse to dress up and he would take huge pride in the outfits he created. He never smoked or drank alcohol because of his many conditions and where did it get him? He passed way too soon and I will never understand how the world doesn’t have him anymore.

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I am so sorry for your lost, I am thinking of you

@Jamiesmum2309
That is a very good way to think, that we were only meant to have Thomas for 35 years. He had so many health problems but we got used to him baffling the doctors. They used to say they didn’t know how his heart kept going so well but it did! In the end it wasn’t any of his conditions that took him, it was infections.

Thank you for helping me see it a different way x

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I don’t understand how things happen. My son never drank, ate much red meat ,never smoked, loved fruit. But he still died of very severe cancer, the world is just not fair.

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@Pest you are so right, this world is so unfair. It makes no sense to me, I just want my boy back.

I’m glad that it’s helping: I really want to celebrate Jamie’s life, and accept the pain as a consequence of how much I loved him, but what I wouldn’t give to have him back xx

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Noone really understands how serious diabetes is. They just think its a low sugar problem.ITS NOT!

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It definitely isn’t! I have 2 diabetic sons and they were totally different. Youngest has seizures when he suddenly drops his sugar whereas Thomas could feel it. The hypers are no fun either. Thomas was given a pump in America that really helped him manage better. Youngest is needle phobic so has a compressed air injector.

I totally agreed with you.My son was healthy , gym person and never had any health issues at all but died of blood cancer which is still a shock for us

Your story resonates with me so much. I’m so sorry for your loss. My son died 8 weeks ago after a 15 year addiction. He was 30 and I am only 46. He was our world and myself and his siblings are totally lost with what’s next without him.

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It’s heartbreaking for us all as addiction affects the whole family. I’m still broken and it will be a year in March x

Sassysharon,
I feel your loss and the pain that comes with losing a child,however what age,it’s totally tragic.
I lost my son age 31 years on 1st November 2022 at home after a terrible frenzied ending of a cardiac arrest associated with drugs and that’s the first time I’ve disclosed that information but I truly feel for you and fully understand just what your going through.
My heart bleeds for you and your family as the impact it has on you and your other children is immense.
I have a daughter who is really struggling and supporting her when you’re weak yourself is so difficult and devastating.
Please know that I will always be here for you and if you need to talk I’ll always be here.
Much love Jayne x

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I’m so sorry that we all find ourselves on this forum and so sorry for all the loss we are sharing. I find it helps to read the posts and realise I’m not alone.
Im finding that I feel worse as time goes on. The reality that I will never see him, hear his voice, his infectious laugh breaks my heart. He died in September just before his birthday. I just don’t care about anything any more. I wonder if I will feel this sadness and heartbreak for the rest of my life?
My thoughts are with you all. Sending love, hope and peace Penny xx

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