If someone told me to let my Thomas go and move forward they would be cut from my circle of friends and family. How dare they!
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Oh Sue3p.how horrendous for you what an awful thing to happen to your son and unbearable for you and your family to live with.I find life so unbearabke without my son he did have some problems in life too but not so sad as your poor Aaron. After Marks dad died he wa s totally my life The love for me helped me through…Heartbreaking reading your story.My love hugs to you wish I could say more xxxxx
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Penny11,
I’m in Somerset.
We’re not that far apart or others,ie Cornwall.
Maybe one day we might be able to sort something out.
Much love,
Jayne x
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Oh Sue
Thank you for sharing such a difficult sad story about your son. I’m so so sorry, especially as you were sent photographs… traumatising at the very least. James lived at home, so we found him and had to try to resuscitate him until the ambulance arrived, I try hard not to think about him like that but I think eventually I’ll seek out some counselling because the image pops into my mind frequently.
It’s such a shame because I was staying just outside Cheadle last week, because my friend’s daughter was getting married ( she and James were really close friends), and I was maid of honour. Not too far from you at all…. It’s possible I may be going up again later this year as they live in Stoke so we still might be able to meet face to face.
It might be that we could arrange a Zoom /Microsoft Teams group so we get a chance to see and speak to one another
Look after yourself xxxx
That sounds absolutely anazing i would love that so much. I have counselling every Wednesday which does help and attend spiritual meditation classes as well. Its just so hard for every single one of us and ive always jkept thinking have i done something so wrong to have lost aaron but i knew i did the best that i could have done but its like having an emotional volcano inside of me and when it goes its such an explosion of grief that i cant breathe and i think every single person on here ferls exactly the same xxxxx
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I think exactly the same- what ever did I do wrong to be punished in such a cruel way… I’m trying to accept the overwhelming grief as a reflection of just how much I loved James, but you’re right- it leaves me breathless and feeling like I’m going to pass out because it’s such a huge emotion.
I’ll try and set up an online meeting ( I’m not very technical so bear with me)… it might be good for those that want to check in with the people who they’ve been talking to on here.
Early night as Dad’s funeral has taken up so much emotional energy today xxxx
Sending lots of love sleep tight. Im so sorry that you have had to go through this as well today xxxxx
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I am struggling so much again, my son’s birthday Monday, his anniversary March. His mates are great to me, they have arranged football match in memory of him today and are getting together on Monday evening. This just makes me worse wishing he was here. I’m in a big black hole again, hopefully I will rise out of it soon. Only people on here can understand the pain .
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I completely understand how your feeling i feel exactly the same,way.i would give anything for my son to back here again i would give my life to apare him and to bring him back. Im also dreading aarons birthday and the anniversary .the vocano of pain and longing for my son erupts at any time and i cant control the way that i feel xxx
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I can’t control my emotions at the moment, my partner keeps saying it’s no good crying…I just say I can’t help it. I would give anything like you would to have him back. I’m really not sure how to get through it …the pain is crushing me and feel so lost . Do you get like this or is it me🤷♀️ x
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I’m so sorry, I think crying is very normal, especially with such sad anniversaries coming up for you.
It sounds like your son had some really lovely friends having a football match in his memory but I think the grief and loss doesn’t lessen, we might be able to build a life around the huge hole in our lives, and make a good show of function from day to day, but all kinds of memories can bring our feelings of loss back, as painfully as ever.
My son only died 9 weeks ago so everything is still very very raw, I’ve been overwhelmed this week, can’t stop crying, but I’m trying to get outside for a little while each day, and not be on my own if I can help it.
Thinking of you, and I hope your partner can find it in themselves to be more understanding… xxxxxxx
Thank you and so sorry for your loss. Nice to hear you are going outside, it’s good for us. My partner he is my rock, however his son passed away unexpectedly aged 39 in November, police at the door so we are trying to deal with that as well. I’m trying to hide a lot of my feelings as it’s not fair on him but it’s not helping me with my emotions again x
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I really don’t think it’s good for you to hide your feelings. Crying is an outlet for the grief. Why does your partner have a problem with yours crying? Is it because he thinks men shouldn’t cry? My sons dad (my ex) is like that and I don’t think that’s healthy, a grieving parent needs an outlet for their pain.
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The lovely psychologist I work with sent me a note saying “ grief is love with nowhere to go”, so I think our tears are a reflection of all the love we had and still have for our children.
I know everyone grieves differently, my husband is actually keen to go to a support group and get some counselling, which I’m glad about, because at the moment I don’t feel I’m much help to him because I feel so broken xxxx
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I have found a bereavement group that has helped me. I’m the only one that’s lost a child, everyone else has lost a partner but it really has helped me. I couldn’t go until I was coming up to a year since my son passed, I wasn’t ready before then.
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My partner he has only cried twice since his son passed away. I just think he deals with it in a different way. He is my rock but we are on different journeys in grief. I think he thinks I cry too much. My son’s mate called in last night, as soon as I saw him I cried. X
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I’ve been reading a lot of poetry and quotes since James died, and found some comfort in them.
I saw this today
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Thats absolutely beautiful and so very true. I constantly cry all the time my husband who is aarons step dad has been there for me all the time even though he finds it so hard what to do with me and say to me. My crying on my breakdown days xan last 5 hours or more and then i take nyself to bed as i feel so low. There has been times when the pain has got so much i wanted to go and dig him up because i cant bear being without him and yes many tines ive said i want to go to sleep snd never wake up ecen though i havnt told my famiky that as they would be mortified to hear that. Xxxx
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I feel that way too; the pain is so unbearable on the worst days, but knowing how hard to bear grief is, I don’t think I could put my husband, sister, mum or my friends through any more pain.
So sorry Sue, but you are not alone…xxxxx
So beautiful and true❤️