Yeah, the empty house will likely trigger more thinking about him and so it’s unavoidable. I think all you can do (to help a little) is to find some hobby or distraction in your house as well. It’s hard because everyone is different and we all have different things that make us think of our loved ones. I find it hard to just hear certain songs because I associate them with her. When I was trying to clean out some of her stuff that can lead to just sitting down and remembering as well. I think it has to be something you don’t necessarily associate with your loved one. Maybe something new.
It certainly is. I have 60 years of love that’s turning into grief ![]()
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You will always have 60 years of love and more. You will never stop that love. Grief is unbearable. Sending a big cwtch x
Thanks. Just been remaking a video with the audio of my poem ‘This is the Place’, supplied by @Tammy25.
Been crying my eyes out as I selected the wedding pics xx
Awww John. No wonder you’re crying. A beautiful tribute to your Miss Rogerstone. Let me know when you are back. We can have a coffee. You take care of yourself. Grief can affect our health xx
Will do.
I’ve had a few really bad days. Just had to force myself to FaceTime with my 2 young grandchildren, but my heart wasn’t in it and they could see something was wrong. ![]()
Hopefully it won’t be too long before I can move. Signing some docs for solicitor tomorrow then just have to wait for Land Registry.
I really need to move back home as soon as I can ![]()
John we don’t have any control over our grief. We can’t always wear a mask. We don’t feel this absolute despair because we want to. We miss our loved one and nothing can heal us. There is no cure. Xx
So true, but I wish there was a cure ![]()
Look after yourself xx
Me too John. I am so annoyed with myself for crying. I can’t seem to hold the tears back. It is exhausting. X
For me it’s almost as if I’m punishing myself by doing things, such as making those videos, I know will make me cry. I do the gardening, which Jackie used to do, and that makes me cry.
In fact, anything I do seems to make me cry. It is really exhausting.
I need to get fit as well as I’m having a week in Llanberis in June. Going up Snowdon to get away from it all.
I have had to find things that make me smile. Still memories, but ones that don’t bring the tears. Give yourself a break from the videos. Find enjoyment in your grandchildren. My grandson fills me full of joy. I made a promise to Richard. He will miss our dear boy growing up. I will take every opportunity to embrace every precious second. X
I intend taking a break from pics and videos and concentrate more on packing ready for a move.
I do like the grandchildren visiting but when they go. I burst into tears because like your Richard, Jackie will miss the youngest two growing up.
A couple of years ago I bought two wooden boxes for the two youngest grandchildren, currently a granddaughter aged 7 and a grandson aged 2.
We filled the boxes with gifts, letters and cards. They are to he opened on their 18th birthdays so 11 & 16 years time. Jackie will not be there and I’ll be lucky if I am, but at least they will have gifts from Nanny & Granddad.
We have to live as if today was our last day.
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Packing and sorting is a good distraction. With the added bonus of being productive x
Hi Meg & johnr
You are both so correct in what you say. Life is so so difficult without our loved ones. The tears just flow. None of us want to feel this way. True there is no cure for this pain. As hard as it is we just have to get up and face the day and maybe find some joy in that day.
I know no matter what we do to distract ourselves, it all seems so pointless and exhausting.
Sorry this is not cheering your day but at least we can try to comfort each other who understand.
Take care.
Thanks Julia
I know it won’t continue today, but I’ve only had a few tears. ![]()
I expect there’ll be a flood later. ![]()
Hi. I so wish that I didn’t feel so sad and keep crying. The pain is always with me of loss of my husband, mother and brother in the last 3 years. My only daughter who fostered a little boy for 4 years then adopted him. She then stopped all contact with me.
This is also heartbreaking.
I’m going to London to visit my 2 sons this weekend. I’m there for a week but don’t want to spoil the precious time with them by feeling so sad. It’s difficult putting on a brave face all the time.
It makes me feel guilty feeling like this as everyone has difficult times.
I think not having my husband around to confide in is difficult.
Take care everyone.
So sorry to hear of all your grief. It’s so exhausting trying to put a brave face on all the time. We cry for a reason, to help wash away the pain. I cry all the time and often at the most awkward times, supermarket, bus train you name it I have done it. Most people will try to understand and if they have experienced deep grief they will definitely understand.
Take care of yourself. People say grief is the price we pay for love but it’s hard to take when you are living through it.
Thank you for your kind words.
It helps to know other people understand.
I hope your day is okay.
Take care.
I found that being distracted does help. But after a while, it’s as if I still owe something—like there’s work left undone. I usually have a few tearful days afterward. I had a friend visit on Friday, and after she left, I was tearful throughout the entire bank holiday weekend. I felt like my head was going to split. I couldn’t breathe; I was choking on my tears.
My husband has been gone for nine months now. I’m still tearful almost every day… ![]()