Hi everyone,
It’s been a while since I’ve been on here, life is so tough and I just can’t see it getting better, I’m empty.
I’m trying so hard for my children but it’s not helping.
My doctor has prescribed antidepressants which have made me so poorly and I just can’t Tolerate Them.
Nobody understands the pain, loneliness, just total emptiness.
Sharon207
I’m new here, sadly I have joined the group so that I can link up with people who understand. When you have such devastation in your life, it’s difficult for family & friends to possibly understand. I lost my son age 22, 9 weeks ago. SADS sudden arrhythmia death syndrome, just so shocking, so suddenly one minute he was with us the next he was gone. An otherwise healthy, talented, loving, caring & funny young man. I miss him desperately & yearn to hold him. My husband and my other son are grieving very differently to me & we are all trying to be strong for each other. My heart breaks for my son as they were best friends aswell as brothers, they were inseparable & he is so lost but doesn’t want to talk about it.
I have found opening up on here helpful so far. I do get a bit confused with how the threads fully go so not sure what you are going through, none the less I am sending you love & strength at this very difficult time for you.
Rach x
Thank you
And to you a this very desperate time, my heart goes out to you, life is just 
and so cruel.
I really struggle everyday, friends saying how well I’m doing but they don’t see my heart in billions of pieces:broken_heart: I hate this life. But try to stay strong for my children 16 & 6years 
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Hi sharon
9 weeks ago today i lost my partner and although we have an 11 year old daughter who is coping quite well i am struggling i feel sp empty amd lost and dont know how i am going to get through rest of my life im only 36
It’s so tough,
My days are consumed with sadness.
I try so hard for the children but feel so alone, my family aren’t close and my in-laws well total waste of time!
Everyday I wake and think my life has been taken why?
And that’s it I just can’t seem to shake myself out of it.
I’m so anxious, I feel sick. It’s just I hope we can be helpful to each other.my friends just don’t get it but why would they, they go home to their husbands/partners. Xx
It is hard every day i wake up and expect him to be here (well he is his ashes in a casket) not the same though is it .
My family live over 200 miles away minus my dad he died 4 years ago also in june well my partner passed away on anniversary of his funeral me and my daughter went to stay with mum day after funeral stayed a month dreaded coming back it was tough although my partner was in hosp for 7 weeks back in feb he was still here i could still see him text him call him i miss it all my daughter is coping quite well but is starting secondary next week which is hard aswell as i dont drive so that added worry too and here i am ten past 12 and still awake as usual
I’m the same sleep defiantly altered, I struggle to go off to sleep and when I do something wakes me up, and bang that feeling in my tummy again. It’s just horrible having to deal with it all the time.
I’m now in a panic with my daughter going back to school tomorrow dreading someone upsetting her.
Where are you in the country? X
Sharon & Fg15
My heart goes out to you both. It’s a living nightmare with this pain 
nothing anyone can say or do to help
I live in the south east but am in France atm for some supposed respite & change of scenery. It’s all so raw & I don’t know what to do with myself
Where are you both in the country?
Sending hugs & strength to us all xx
Im in hampshire x
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Thank you x
Hi Sharon207 --The empty feeling is so bad isnt it - I try and be busy but the days seem long and I wake up throughout the night and each morning i think here we go again. Its hard for people that haven’t lost someone to understand the intense feelings of grief and they want to know you are feeling better and I end up pretending to be better to make them feel better! I come to this site for comfort as I know everyone on here truly knows how we are feeling .Love to us all on this site x
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Hi trac
Yes it’s just horrible, I’ve given up putting that brave face on, I do try for my kids but no1 else, if they don’t like how I’m feeling tough I’ve learnt that lesson very quickly,
One so called friend of 15years + called me a fun vacuum from that day I just let it go.
It’s difficult being alone, my family are a bit far from me so I’m totally isolated. X
Take care of yourself xxx
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Hello all, appreciate how you’re feeling. Sorry if I’m going off topic but have no idea how to start a new thread, pretty useless at anything mildly technical! Please can I just have a quick rant as I can’t say this to anybody else? Just seen my lovely neighbour, all bronzed and happy, just back, in time from 2 weeks in Crete. Telling me how amazing it was and how much she’d needed it and I felt so terrible because I really felt so jealous/envious and I don’t want to be that person.Thank you for letting me get that out!! xxx
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bjane, I think it’s only natural to have those feelings, life really does feel so unfair for so many of us. I guess we can only try & be happy for others who seem to have it all in the way of happiness. Happiness truly is having those we love the most around us & sadly those of us on this site don’t.
Feeling heartbroken as I navigate through another day without my precious son xx
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Thank you for that, Rach, I just didn’t want to feel like that it!s so mean spirited. I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through, but you are in my thoughts and I hope one day things may get just a little bit easier for you. Sending love xxxx
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Gosh bjane, how I understand. I’m sitting here in my conservatory with tears in my eyes after reading your post. I’m trying my hardest to hold the tears back because I have the builder here. We’ll never have those wonderful times again. David and I (and kids) used to holiday a lot on the canal, in a narrowboat. They were the most special of times. I wouldn’t want to go with anyone else. I felt safe with David and he was very skillful manoeuvring the boat. So many wonderful memories and those are what we must treasure. Much love bjane.
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Hi Sharon
I have just joined this site ,as like you am struggling with other people not understanding and expecting you to get on.,lsso my heart goes out to you and your family
I lost my husband in February at 57 to bowel cancer we only found out in January I have a 23 and 18;year old and today is 7 months since he died a another difficult day
I have spent ages trying to find someone to talk to so if you would like to chat ,
Hi I want to say how sorry I am ,as everyone will tell you it’s early days ,but what does that mean I’m 7months today since my husband died suddenly at 57 ,and feel like you how can I go on without him i so glad I have found this site as have been wanting to chat with others in the same awful situation sending you and your daughter a big hug
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Sharon & Ladies,
My heart is breaking for each of you, such sad, sad stories of loss and the struggle to cope. I find myself in the same situation - struggling to cope - as it will be 8 weeks tomorrow since my wife passed away. I sometimes think too that people will be thinking that I should have “gotten over it” by now, but they really don’t understand how the loss just rips your life apart and leaves such a huge void. My 96-year-old father was trying to persuade me last night to get rid of at least some of my wife’s clothes, even though I insisted it was far too early to consider that. I know he means well but it would feel like I was desecrating my wife’s memory, and I simply couldn’t live with that. I also find that my relatives tend to avoid talking about the subject of my wife’s passing, instead trying to cheer me up with any other topic of conversation, when sometimes all I want to do is spill out all of my most heartfelt emotions. I guess it’s difficult for those around us too, puzzling over whether to try to sympathise with us or try to cheer us up. I do feel the need to speak my innermost thoughts and feelings to someone which is why I joined the waiting list for a Cruse counsellor. I’m afraid I’m unable to offer many words of comfort, except to say that your words resonate with me and that I feel and share your pain and struggle. Please everyone take the best care of yourselves that you can. Alston xx
Thank you take care x