You will never be alone, Morr, whilst you are among these lovely people, we do have at least one thing in common, we have lost someone whom we love beyond measure.
12 weeks ago this evening my dearly loved husband passed away, suddenly. He had been ill all day, the doctor came out to see him at lunch time (UK) and said that she would place him on home observation. As the day progressed, I became more worried about him, at 8.55 pm, I went across the road to ask a medically trained friend/neighbour to come and take a look at him. I heard a loud crash, I was out of our bungalow for approx. 3 minutes, I found him in our bedroom, dead, on the floor. I am still in shock. My dearly loved younger brother and friend died quite suddenly just 4 years ago, 6 months later my dearest friend of nearly 72 years had a major stroke, my husband found her on the floor of her bedroom she passed 4 weeks later. I am very lucky our two children, both in their 50’s have been brilliant in their support, yet both of them live at least 2 hours drive away in opposite directions. I wish you well Morr. Take care, MaryL ps I took Stan’s death certificate to our docto and I asked him to explain it to me, there was a simple explanation, the doctor said that if Stan had been in hospital surrounded by doctors, nothing could have saved him. He had an infection in his heart.
Hi mary,
Sorry for your losses. My dad asked my mum for a cup of tea. When my mum returned a few minutes later her was dead aged 53. It was such a shock followed 21 years later by mum suffering a major stroke 20 weeks ago and dying within hours. My mum was actually surrounded by doctors having just come out of surgery. I’m thankful these were the circumstances. Had mum died at home I would always have wondered if she would have survived if we had got her to hospital quickly.
I think this shows us that medicebe can be great but isn’t magic.
I hope you’re doing ok at the 12 week mark.
It’s very tough x
Mary,
You are so right about these people. They are all lovely and although we cannot fix each other we can at least share our emotions and stories with those who truly understand. I can feel alone surrounded by people but not here.
I’m very sorry to hear what you’ve had to go through over the years and especially 12 weeks ago.
Today is 10 weeks for me and I remember the day like it was yesterday. I lost my mum while she was with us on holiday. We were all having a nice holiday up until the morning I discovered her in bed with breathing difficulties. An hour later it was all over and I was left wondering what had just happened and why. The actual why was because her heart couldn’t pump any blood anymore. All the other whys I’m still struggling to answer. It pains me immensely to remember her suffering like that and her last words are burnt into my head forever. I can’t bring myself to type them right now.
I often wonder if I could have done something to prevent what had happened but have to remember that medics are not miracle workers and life is actually quite fragile and can end without any warning. I just have to accept the way it is because with or with answers or knowing how I could have changed the outcome, the actual outcome remains the same, my mum is gone.
Thank you for your kind words and I hope you look after yourself after this terrible loss.
Shaun x
It doesn’t get any better does it shaun.
I still get shocked that they were walking, talking, enjoying life one minute, gone the next. As you say, life is very fragile. I thought I would watch my mum deteriorate over the next 10 to 15 years but she wouldn’t actually die until she was decrepit. But life had other plans for our mums. Heart disease, stroke. No doddering around the house for them. Fit and active one day, gone the next.
Hello, Shaun73, it is good to meet you, I am sorry about your mum, grief is the price we have to pay for love. It is an awful feeling and I do understand what you are going through. I was just about to sign off when I spotted the last two posts, sometimes I have thought I was going out of my mind - thank you for your condolences. Please will you keep in touch,
MaryL x x x
I am still at that stage C1971, my consolation is the sure and certain knowledge that we shall all meet again, when the time is right. Love, MaryL
my lovely partner was due home on the day he passed i never got to say goodbye i only found out he had passed when i rang the hospital that morning, my world has ended x
I’m sorry for your loss soozie.
Alot of us on the forum are affected by sudden death. We all understand a little if how you may feel and are all here to talk to you as and when you feel you need to x
Hi,
The shock.of sudden death is unbelievable.
After 47 years together I never got to say goodbye to my partner.
20 months later I still can’t believe it’s happened, to him, to me, to us.
All I get is " come to terms with it" "build a new life " “move on " " keep busy” ignore all this well meaning
"c- - - " take time to grieve for your loved one, think about them and your lives together.
I wish I could say more to help you but I can’t maybe others in this forum can.
Wishing you well at this saddest of times. Jx